To charge ap for *another* ruined item of clothing and trashed iron or not?

[kittywise]

Ok, I've had my AP since Dec. We've had ups and downs and some of you might remember my posts on the subject!
Against all odds it has worked out pretty ok.
She is very dippy and has no common sense but has learned from her many mistakes and she plays really well with the younger children.
She has to leave in April to go on another language course.

Now my dilema is that she has managed to spoil a number of items of clothing by putting them in the tumble drier when she was told again and again that they shouldn't go in. Items like jumpers, fleeces and tracksuit bottoms. The first couple of times I patiently explained and then started to get cross. She actiully said to me that she would have been crosser than me in the same situation!!

Anyway yesterday she comes to me saying the the hot iron must have fallen into the basket underneath the ironing board which contains pile of clothes waiting to be ironed.
She says she hadn't noticed that it had fallen. She had turned it off and gone upstairs ( how can you not notice that the iron is no longer on the ironing board?)

Consequently the iron has ruined 2 items of clothing, I'm amazed that it was only 2, one expensive gap fleece, and of course the iron is covered in burnt plastic and is now unusable. Not to mention the potential dire consequences of burning clothes.
There is a huge tank of heating oil in the basement where all the laundry stuff is. I can't begin to contemplate what would have happened to us if a fire had started down there

Now I am pissed off, it was so so careless and dangerous of her and I am faced with replacing yet more clothing.

I want to ask her to contribute towards the cost of a new fleece and say that next time I will ask her to pay the full amount for any items that need replacing because she has shrunk, burnt etc them.

What do you think? What would you do in this circ?

Ta

She cooks passable Thai food once a week. If it were the first item of ruined clothing then it would not be ok to charge. But I think that the only way she is going to take care of our things is if she has to contribute towards replacing the things she has damaged.

She's not actually an employee though, what she gets is pocket money, not wages.

buda , that sounds fab. Which place did you enjoy the most?

Am I the only person who thinks it is wrong to deduct pay from an au pair when they have an accident?

That's what insurance is for.

I had a cleaner once who shrunk dh's cashmere jumper by washing it in a hot wash but I would not have dreamed of asking her to pay for it.

My nanny had a small accident in my car once which resulted in an expensive repair. She claimed it wasn't her fault (but of course the dc were the only witnesses) and we decided to pay for the repair rather than lose our no claims bonus. Would not have dreamed of asking her to chip in.

Sort the washing yourself in future if you can't trust her to get it right.

I made an expensive mistake in my first job which cost my employer thousands of pounds, but it wasn't deducted from my pay packet.

You both learn from the experience and move on.

I think it is unnecessarily mean. If you don't want a dippy teenager then hire a nanny.

She didn't do it on purpose. She doesn't have professional indemnity insurance.

Expect from your Au Pair a level they are capable. If not up to your standards re-advertise.

Well dont think i "said" anything to her,i was to busy jumping up and down screaming.She left shortly after i found my 3yr old in the lounge watching horror movies on her own at 1am,Aupair next door on computer,once again she hadnt noticed.
Not sure about racial generalising,but always had bad experiences with my German aupairs,but current one is fab,so yes people just people.
Also i think if washing accidents keep happening then a contribution is fare.Im sure that if you continued to make expensive mistakes at work losing your boss money you would soon be fired.But also think a different chore should be assigned or a lower pocket money as you send out the ironing so she does not do it.

snowlight,are you saying you think I am expecting too much that she should notice that she has knocked a hot iron into basket of clothing???

Is it too much to ask after repeated instruction that she should not put tracksuit bottoms and jumpers into a tumble drier?
Then you have low expectations indeed.

She is not a dippy teenager, she is 25, but honest to god my kids would not do something so stupid.
it is about not respecting my things enough to pay proper attentiopn to what she is doing.

If you read any of my earlier posts you will see that she said that if someone had done similar things to her clothes then she would have been angrier than I was.

She knows that putting the wrong clothes into the drier is only due to carelessness, she has said so.
She knows what clothes must go on the line.
There is no grey area here.
The reason she knows is because I have very patiently allowed her to make mistakes again and again and have gently (at first) pointed out that this is a tracksuit bottom and then later "this is a tracksuit bottom and this is a jumper' and then later ' this is a tracksuit bottom and this is a jumper and they have all shrunk again, they must not go in the drier' etc etc etc etc etc.

No I won't do the job myself, I have chosen to have someone else to it and give them money.
Sorting the washing is a job a monkey could do.
I am hardly expecting too much here.
It's basic housework

totally, that's awful for you, so glad you are happy with your new AP

It's not a question that she can't iron, she can, perfectly well. What happened was sheer carelessness . I know it was an accident and all that but it was one that was completely and utterly avoidable if a little care and attention had been taken.

kittywise What she did was potentially dangerous, but what are you trying to achieve? Compensation, a lesson so she won't do it again, revenge?

I know you are frustrated but people aren't 'careless' on purpose. I know an admin person who was fantastic and on the ball whenever challenges presented themselves, but cocked up the post and stuffing envelopes. Her brain just couldn't cope with the mundane-ness of it.

Her line manager wouldn't let her be promoted out of the position until she got it consistently right. She tried very hard but just couldn't do it, although she took over my web design work in her lunch hour and became a wizz at that.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that your actions won't improve things for either you or her. She'll keep shrinking things and you'll keep deducting and you'll both become miserable. Give her jobs she CAN do or hire someone else. Just because you think it ios easy doesn't mean it is for everyone.

i think its unfair

as a nanny no matter what i broke i wouldnt expect to be billed if it was a genuine accident (and im sure the iron didnt fall off on purpose)

I have broken... the microwave plate when the new microwave was less than 2 weeks old

in the farm house they had had a huge slate floor laid (but not sealed) and i tub of cream fell out the fridge and made an oil stain that will never ever ever come out of the slate.

have washed and shrunk a wool blanket

dropped a whole stack of plates and 3/8 broke

all by accident + there must be lots more little things.

if you want £ back claim on your home insurance

i agree it cant be legal to take out of your au pairs wages.

Sorry to ask but is this a joke question?

"My AP made a mistake (denegrate denegrate) and now I'd like to teach her a lesson by witholding the pittance I pay her"
What do you think?

I think if you are worried about her laundry skills do it yourself.

nannyL, sorry but you sound rather clumsy to me and I would be very cross if you came into my home and were so careless with my things.

Ronaldinhio no I pay her, a monkey can do it, it's basic, she can do it too, but she needs to take care with other people's property.

Interesting, the posts I have read in this section in the past abpot charging ap's for contiuned breakages etc it's always turned out that the ap suddenly seems to take a lot more care in the house, funny that

nannyL NO the iron didn't not get knocked off on purpose neither was it picked up again. You would have to be a blind fool not to notice that.
Either that or she was too careless to pay attention to what she were doing, like putting woolen things in a drier or in a hot wash so that they shrank, simply careless.

nannyl - i'm glad you're not in my house! are you like that in your own house?

I presume NannyL didn't do all of those things in the same day Accidents do happen. I agree with those saying it's harsh. A strong word about the potential dangers, yes, deducting cash no.

I presume NannyL didn't do all of those things in the same day Accidents do happen. I agree with those saying it's harsh. A strong word about the potential dangers, yes, deducting cash no.

Kittywise, I don't think nannyL sounds clumsy. It's not as if she did all of those things in one day. Have you ever dropped anything by accident? I certainly have, so have my bosses. It's not as if nannyL purposely threw cream all over the floor.

Regarding your AP, what she did was terribly careless and I would have a very formal discussion about how dangerous the iron situation could have been.

Well the cash is deducted and if it happens again it will get deducted again. I've had enough of paying for her inability to pay attention to a basic job like washing and ironing.

thanks docket...

of course not all on the same day... over 10 years actually

it was the fault of the person who stupidly balanced the cream in the fridge that it fell out (not me) that would have happened to whoever opened the fridge which happened to be me....
my bosses learnt a lesson about sealing slate floors before using the kitchen!

they have also been shared between families, one with each family i have worked for

sorry but if you have have someone working 5 days a week for 3 years in your house is it really unacceptable for them to break something?

yes i have smashed the odd plate at my house tea.... have you not kittywise?

err no, I think I've done 3 glasses in the last 10 years and I was pissed off with my clumsiness as well.

Of course accidents happen, but when the same "accident" happens again and agiai and agian, like with my washing then it's no longer an accident as far as I'm concerned .

do you like my variations on "again", rather fetching.

a bit of luck i work for normal people who do occasionaly break things then

i think they consider the welfare of their children more imporant than a plate or 2 from ikea, or a blanket

Actually what has just occurred to me is that I think if you break something that belongs to someone else you should offer to pay for it, especially if it is worth some money.

If I have ever broken/spoiled something that belongs to someone else I have either replaced it or at the very least offered to pay for the breakage.

nannyL it's perfectly possible to look after children well , be competent with the laundry and not smash plates. All these things are not mutually exclusive

It shows a lax attitude I think..

But why are you asking kittywise if you have already decided?
I agree she has been very careless but you already knew she wasn't a safe pair of hands, so perhaps doing the ironing yourself is a better bet?
Think its a bit harsh to take money off her wages.
A cleaner we once had broke a lovely perfume bottle of mine and dented the stainless steel fridge door but I still paid her in full (though I did ask her to leave after she kept breaking things).

A little bit off-topic, but wasn't the visa category of "au pair" abolished, so surely they are an employee?

So I'm a nanny and I agree with kittywise the parent rather than nannyl

I think she has an ap who has been consistently told about something yet still causes damage! An iron dropping is an accident but not noticing or picking it up is not same as tumble drying stuff seems she is lazy to not sort it out imo.!!!

I think paying for something teaches respomsibility and accountabilty and kittywise is doing this only after replacing stuff herself several times.

Nannnl your attitude is not great! Yes welfare of children is extremely important but the home and its contents should be taken care of too!

My goodness ap get paid a 'pittance' because they have room and board and hardly work any hours!! Why should their amount of wages give them the right to be careless with other peoples stuff??