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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Where is my Au Pair?

42 replies

manicmama · 02/03/2009 11:57

I have a new Au Pair who started last week. Everything seemed to be going fine. She had arranged to go away for the weekend to see a friend and said she would be back Sun night or Mon morning. So far, so good ...

However, it is now Monday lunch and she has still not appeared and I haven't heard from her. She was supposed to be working this morning so it is all very odd. I have left two messages on her phone. I also checked her Facebook (which is a bit off but I was a bit worried about her) to which she was posting photos at 11.15pm last night.

The weird thing is she has left a few of her things in her room. Not much but a few clothes, a picture/book etc

Any ideas??

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NewTeacher · 02/03/2009 12:02

Does she have a mobile? Call her....

If she's skiving I think you need to sit down and have words. If she's lost then its a different matter but when she gets back you still need to have words!

Ooh dear..can you contact her via her FB page?

Original poster
manicmama · 02/03/2009 12:36

I have tried her mobile and it rings then goes to the answering machine.

I don't want to contact her via FB because I don't really want her to know that I am looking at her page! Also, she might inadvertently post something that will show why she is missing work. I can see that she had a big night out on Saturday but I don't mind about what she does as long as it doesn't affect her work.

What is out of order is for her not to contact me at all. I will definitely be having words and I will be interested to know what her reason for not appearing is.

OP posts:
willowthewispa · 02/03/2009 12:50

Maybe she was involved in an accident on the way back this morning?

Weegle · 02/03/2009 12:52

the stuff that's left in her room - is it proportional to the amount of stuff she brought with her?

This sounds really odd. She's either done a runner and left a few items to put you off the scent for a brief while. Or she's lost - unlikely - why wouldn't she ring you? Or she's had a heavy weekend is now working out what story to give you... very weird indeed. Whatever, if she returns, severe words, and a written warning would be coming from me - you need to be able to rely on her and it doesn't bode well for what she's like.

How have you got her FB details?

FannyWaglour · 02/03/2009 12:58

What if something has happened to her?
Can you call her parents?

If she is skivvying, then you need to know, it is so irresponsible she would be on the first flight home if that happened to me.

Original poster
manicmama · 02/03/2009 13:14

Get this ...

.. I just rang her friend because I had her number in case of an emergency. I asked if my au pair was ok and she said yes... did I want to leave a message or speak to her... I said yes could I speak to her. I then heard my au pair in the background groan and I was cut off !!!

Now I know she is alright, I can't believe she didn't even try to make some excuse up such as being ill ?!? She is obviously not very bright.

I now want to fire her (assuming she ever returns) and my hubby says no!

OP posts:
Numberfour · 02/03/2009 13:17

get rid of her.
she is not committed to the job and is taking the p*ss.
you no doubt need someone reliable and clearly she is not.

unavailable · 02/03/2009 13:24

She sounds very untrustworthy and more than a little flaky. I wouldnt feel as if I could rely on her after this so, yes, I would tell her she is no longer required.

Why does your husband say no?

NewTeacher · 02/03/2009 13:33

Oh how awful sorry that would be instant dismissal for me..

Did you get her from an agency? I would ask for a replacement AP.

I'm sorry but she is new so should be bending over backwards to be working at her best. If I did that in the first week of my job I'd be out on my ear!!!

Good Luck

Quattrocento · 02/03/2009 13:36

Honestly - get rid now

jack99 · 02/03/2009 13:43

Get rid of her. You can't trust her to look after your children - what if she decides not to bother picking them up from school/ playgroup one day because she gets a better offer. Or one scenario I know of that actually happened - she might just leave them in the house alone and walk out.

There are plenty of responsible, hard working au pairs to be had - don't waste your time with this spoilt overgrown baby!

Ceolas · 02/03/2009 13:44

I'd get rid. Couldn't trust her.

DadInsteadofMum · 02/03/2009 13:52

Us blokes are always after the easy life, so your DH probably can't face the hassle of recruitign yet another, however point out the prospective sceanarios of continuing to employee this one e.g. kids not picked from school (he gets the phone call from school beacuse you are not availble).

How much were you inconvenienced by her no-show this morning? Would she have know this?

How good was she last week? How well does she get on with the kids?

I don't think you can go for a knee jerk she mut go, I think you will need to wait for her explanation - but it'll have to be damn good to justify keeping her.

MarmadukeScarlet · 02/03/2009 13:56

She was due to work.

She did not turn up.

She did not call you.

She now knows you are trying to contact her, but she still hasn't bothered calling you.

= She is unreliable and untrustworthy.

Get rid.

JenniPenni · 02/03/2009 14:08

I'd go into her room, pack her things up and wait for her to return. If you can legally ask her to leave now, do so. Your kids deserve someone who is committed to them and you as a family. Hope you sort it out soon x

Supernanny19 · 02/03/2009 14:24

I think she has taken what she needed and left. Left a few bits so it looks like she is coming back.

MarmadukeScarlet · 02/03/2009 14:27

I was going to suggest sticking it all in a black bag, putting it on the doorstep and sending her a text to collect it. Although, I was concerned that the AP may still have a front door key.

Original poster
manicmama · 02/03/2009 14:56

This is all so weird. She seemed so nice! I think she is just a bit too much of a party animal. Well, she is definitely going. I still haven't heard anything from her.

I would like to make sure I get my key back from her though. It feels a bit weird to pack up her things so I will leave it for a while. The only thing is that she knows my routine and might just come back and collect her things when I am out. I don't like the thought of this at all.

Luckily, I bumped into my childminder who my DS adores and she will look after him for one day per week This is not ideal but at least it is something.

I won't be looking for another AP as my only other AP experience was a bad one too

If anything else happens I will let you know

OP posts:
MarmadukeScarlet · 02/03/2009 14:57

Good luck with the key.

Original poster
manicmama · 02/03/2009 14:58

Thanks

OP posts:
Numberfour · 02/03/2009 15:18

yes, good luck. Poor you!

Original poster
manicmama · 02/03/2009 15:46

I finally received a text message at 3.30pm saying:

Hi. I felt really sick this morning. I think I'm getting flue. I set my alarm but I couldn't hear it. I'm sorry I didn't call. I have some stuff there so if you want me to come and take it I understand.

Guess what happened next!

OP posts:
Numberfour · 02/03/2009 15:49

er....... you called and told her not to bother because it had been taken to the charity shop?

cheeky brat.

so what's happening?

Original poster
manicmama · 02/03/2009 15:54

I texted her back to tell her to come and collect her things tomorrow and give me my key back. I haven't heard anything else.

I am now trying to explain to my older kids why Inga isn't here any more!

OP posts:
Numberfour · 02/03/2009 15:56

hope you get your key back otherwise you are looking at changing the locks. did you go through an agency? any chance of getting your fee back?

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