Au Pair seeking for the first time...what to expect?

[melissa75]

Hi, we are thinking of getting an au pair to look after our children. I am just wondering what the going rate is these days for one, and also, what expectations do you have for one? (responsibilities etc...)

We're in the country, so pay slightly above the going rate: £80 a week. Our au pair works 25 hours a week, helping with the kids and doing some light housework. She's German and occasionally cooks us a German speciality (we all love Spatzle). She has sole charge of 2 DSs (aged 10 & 13) from 4 - 5.30pm, four evenings a week. She works roughly 8 till 11am, then 3.30-5.30pm, Mon - Fri. Weekends totally free. She also has time off on Tuesday mornings to attend English classes.

thanks cheapskate..what about transportation? Do you provide a car for her use with the children? How about her own personal use? Do you pay for her english classes?

We're in London. We pay £80 for 35 hours. Hours 7.30 - 9.15 help children get dressed, make breakfast. Take to school. Start 2.15pm Cleaning, Ironing or linen change to 4.30pm, Collect DS from school and DD from nursery, playing, help with bath finish at 7.30pm. Monday to friday weekends free. They also have an extra part time cleaning jobs for neighbours for an extra 6 hours paying an extra £42 per week. We help them enrole in language college 3 x a week and provide a big double room, own bathroom, mobile. laptop, broadband, full sky TV package. We also ask for 2 nights baby sitting a week babysitting but rarely use it. We don't pay for the english lessons and only arrange for them to have an Oyster card with £10 which I top up occasionally depending on the weather as DS is supposed to walk to school.

Ours is similar to cheapskatemum's.
She supervises the children after breakfast til school bus comes (8am-8.25),empties dishwasher and puts in breakfast things, sweeps kitchen floor and walks dog. Has a small cleaning task each day (about a 10 minute dust or hoover). She then has to be in house at 4pm when the kids are returned and 3 times a week she supervises them from 4pm-5.30, the other 2 weekdays she might have them for 20 mins or so if I'm late back from work. It comes to about 17 hours max I think. We also ask for 2 babysits a week but rarely use them.
She gets £85 a week and use of car for her own use during the weekdays and with our agreement, at weekends. We pay for diesel as long as she doesn't take a very long trip. She pays for her phone calls (skype so very cheap), and has a tv/dvd/broadband pc in her room. She pays for her English classes (£25 a week) and they are in the middle of the day (our last AP preferred evening classes despite having most of the middle of the day free).

Sorry to butt in - we're considering the au pair route too. Are you pleased with it as a childcare option - and how is it having someone living with you?

We've recently moved from a 4-bed to a 3-bed, so the kids will have to share if we have a live-in, but I can't see any other way of sorting out the before and after school/nursery childcare we need. The AP's room won't be huge but she'll only share a bathroom with the kids.

Did you use an agency or get someone via gumtree?

Sorry to interrupt!

But I think I need an au pair too, our Housekeeper has just stopped showing up and really instead of much cleaning she just held the baby a few hours a day while I worked out and showered.

From what this thread is suggesting au pairs seem very reasonably priced. I have a double bedroom and bathroom to offer and would LOVE to pay as little as possible. So how do I find one?

what can I really expect her to do?
again, sorry for jumping in. I'm just soo terribly desperate!

I'm just in the process of hiring my first Au Pair and did lots of research on MN and elsewhere and here are some of the main points that came up.

• Agencies are less than useless. Use aupair-world.net and/or greataupair.com

• The above wesites will explain all visa issues etc.

• If you can find an Au Pair who has done it before then that is a benefit.

• Be super-clear about what you expect to be done - write it down!

• Try and arrange language lessons or some other social interaction to avoid bored-au pair syndrome.

• Talk to them on Skype if poss or at least on phone and speak to references if possible.

• When you find one you think will work don't mess about - sign her up before someone else does.

• There's heaps more au pair info on MN too.

I've found it pretty easy so far - HEAPS of applications and morethan enough who sound like viable options.
Fingers crossed!!

eandz - don't expect the cost to be solely that of the pocket money - we estimate our au pair costs us in the region of £650 a month, that's pocket money, increase in power bills, food, car insurance, diesel, plus trips out (she comes too and we pay as her hosts), and that's not including presents for the occasions when she's surpassed herself and leaving gifts/flights (we tend not to pay flights but have paid an equivalent 'bonus' as a leaving gift).
And the breakages are a lot higher!

£650.00 a month is very reasonable...am i wrong to assume that the further out of central london you are the cheaper it gets to have an aupair? or would it be the opposite since a central london location would offer them more of a social life?

and a typical length of stay is 1 yr?

I think it's cheaper if you are in London as that's where they all want to be (it would seem).
From what I've been told you will be vv lucky to find one who will actually stay a whole year. Apparently 4-6 months is more realistic, but you can get lucky. Maybe if you get one from further away (Aus/NZ/Canada) they will be more likely to stay longer??

thats great! i live in central london...i also kind of only want someone till june/july.

Yes you would be very lucky to find someone for over 6 months. Most are looking for 1-3 months, some for 4-6, very few for 6 months plus.
As for cost/location, if you are rural you tend to pay a premium, or if you want to attract a good candidate (e.g. someone with previous AP experience) even if you are in London.

We have an AP (on our third).

We live in rural SE and pay £60 pocket money per week for 25 hours + one night babysitting. We also pay for her college course (£125 per term), her YP railcard (think it was £30), provide a PAYG mobile with £10 credit at the start, phonecalls, computer with Skype, full board for meals and approx £60-80 per month on joining us for days out/coffees out/meals out. We don't give them use of a car because we live near a station. She has her own single room but shares family bathroom. In her room she has tv, dvd & hi-fi but she always watches TV with us.

I have one 2.8 yr DS. Her time is broken down as follows:
Mon : 9-5: Hoover downstairs, mop, meal prep, laundry, ironing, then available for DS
Tue: 9-11: Change DS bedding, laundry, get his swim stuff ready, take him swimming. 3-5: meal preps, then play with DS
Wed: 12.30-5: Clean bathroom, meal preps, laundry, then available for DS
Thur: 9-11: Empty upstairs bins, laundry, ironing, be available for DS. 3-6: DS and also fully cooks evening meal for all of us
Fri: 9-5: Hoover whole whole, laundry, then available for DS most of the day.

Her weekends are fully off but she is welcome to join us in most aspects of ours if she wishes (however, once they have beenw ith you a while like ours they tend to have their own friends to see, at the beginning it is more labour intensive). Every day tasks also include emptying and loading the dishwasher, wiping the dining room table and DS' toddler table, and maintaining tidyness of the toybox.

And they aren't necessarily the cheap option - our current one just has to look at something at it breaks/gets stolen. And feeding her isn't cheap (not that I begrudge that in any way but it would be wrong to think they are cheap, it's just that the vast majority of their costs are hidden). And of course there are birthdays/easter/xmas which you should want to make special as they are away from home (AP's bday probably just cost me about £150 including present, meal out, day out, cake, etc etc). So please do not just go with an AP because you think they are cheap. They are also much more a part of the family than any other form of childcare - they are meant to share your family life and home and you must be prepared to have someone sharing your lounge, helping themselves to your food etc.

Weegle - That's 29 and a half hours, not 25.

DS has naps for 1.5 - 2 hours per day, so it's not!

also got a typo on there she doesn't do thur 9-11 (DS at preschool) - you had me panicked there for a minute as I'm very hot on not going over her hours! most weeks it ends up considerably less than 25 as DS and I are usually visiting friends for one or two afternoons a week.

Just out of interest. Is it just your AP and DS at home when he is napping? If so, do you still count it in her hours?

No - I am at home. AP is literally an extra pair of hands for me. I have an extremely painful form of arthritis and so she is literally just that "an extra pair of hands". She has extremely limited sole care mostly things like playing in the garden with him (I'd be in the house), his swimming lesson (I'm in the cafe/viewing area), she occasionally will walk him to the station to watch trains, or to the park for 45 minutes. I guess it's not your normal AP situation.

Wasn't try to pry too much. Just wondering what the general rule is, if there is one! I'm an AP and trying to work many things out about my job i.e. if they are job specific or just 'my' job specific.

If it helps - on times when AP has been alone with DS whilst he naps (e.g I am at a hospital appointment) then I treat that as working hours. I expect her to have the monitor and listen out for his stirring and also to put him up there and settle him, so even if during his actual nap time if she has sole care I would count that as working time.

I think the thing is AP roles are all very specific to the family - it's the nature of the job, different aged children, different family styles. What is key is that everyone agreed it all at the beginning and that no one feels taken advantage of and that everyones needs are being met, not at the detriment of anothers. Good AP relationships take give and take a good degree of balance. Are you frustrated at something in your own role?

sorry my grammar is appalling in that post - need to go to bed!

Frustrated now and again. But overall I am happy. I don't have a contract which is very silly. I started working here as a babysitter and it has now evolved to an AP role. I think if I had a contract I would feel much better. I finish here in May and the family will be getting their first 'proper' AP. They will have a contract for her.

yes, I can see how that would be frustrating. And presumably as it's evolved it's easy for boundaries to get blurred. Before our AP's even accept the position they see a much more detailed list than what I posted above, plus info about us as a family, sample weekly schedules of what's actually happened, and photos etc. They are under no illusions as to what is expected of them, or what we provide in return. And I think we must have something right as our first AP is coming to visit us next month, and the current one doesn't want to go home!

Anyway, I really must go to bed now!

Thank you for all your input...it sounds like there are a lot of consistencies. We are looking to get an AP within the next two months (fingers crossed!), I have been looking at the current AP agencies online, but just wanted to get a taster of what the going rate is and also what sort of responsbilities you pass on to them etc..