My dd1 is 3, and she is (of course) a wonderful, bright, sparkly little girl. she is also incredibly strongwilled, prone to monster temper tantrums, and very jealous of her little sister who's 9 months- she's recently started hitting her repeatedly.
I am really working v hard at addressing her behaviour, which i think is normal, but still v challenging and hard work. I, as her mother, sometime find it almost too much- but with the help of dr tanya byron's books i am much more positive.
i have had this nanny since september as a mother's help, and have gone back to work 4 weeks ago. she (the nanny) is a really nice person, a bit more mature than the average nanny (late 40s) and very caring and sensible, she has 2 grown daughters and she has looked after children before in a sole charge capacity, although she is not a career nanny if that makes sense.
anyway, sorry, long preamble, but tonight she told me that dd1 had a megatantrum this am about getting dressed etc, and that it was really extreme and she finds it really hard to deal with this behaviour and it really affects her confidence and although the rest of the week dd1 behaved very well she finds it hard to remain calm and positive in the face of these behaviours. it had clearly upset her, perhaps a bit too much i thought, although she could have been nervous about telling me.
i have observed her dealing with dd1 and by and large i have been quite impressed with her instinct, she does all the things i have had to read about (distraction, ignoring, basic reward charts etc etc), 90% of the time dd1 responds very well to her and i actually do find it a positive thing on the whole that she spoke to me about it rather than pretending everything is fine and hunky dory.
but i guess my questions are.. one, how do i support her and help her deal with this, and two, is this even normal (dd's behaviour AND the fact that nanny finds it so hard) or a sign that it's not working and should i be thinking about someone else?
thanks if you've made it this far!