What is reasonable for me to expect my CM to do whilst the kids are with her?

[honie]

Hi

I have two LO's with a childminder for an hour before and three hours after school. She does the school run, takes the kids and hers to the park a couple of times week for 20 minutes and gives them a snack. She wont feed them unless I take the food with me, and it has to be something easy like soup or toast with beans. She cooks her families meal while my kids are there and does her housework, other than a bit of sticking and glueing my kids are watching tele or playing on the comp, in good weather they play in the garden.

I'm not sure if I am being unreasonable thinking she should be doing a bit more with them while they are there? It would also be a huge weight off my shoulders if they were fed before 7 at night as they have lunch at 12.

Other thing is that she takes weekdays off with a week and a few days notice, leaving me no choice but to take time off work, is this normal?

Sorry for a million and one questions, but as she is my first experience of childminding I have nothing to base it on!!

Thanks you for reading!!

Hi honie - no, I wouldn't say that your experience is entirely normal.

How old are your children?

It all depends on what you agreed with your childminder initially.

Were you expecting her to provide food? Would she provide it if you paid extra.

The deal with my cm is that yes, she cooks after school while dd is there but all her mindees, her own children and she sit down and eat together at about 5.00pm. While she's cooking, my dd would be playing with the older children, dressing up, playing with toys, playing out in the garden, or occasionally watching TV.

To be honest, when dd comes out of nursery at 3.00pm, she doesn't really want to do very much. If she was at home, she would just be playing and chilling out, so I'm happy for her to do the same with the childminder. What would your children be doing if they were at home with you?

The food and housework thing with your childminder would bother me. She certainly shouldn't be doing lots of housework. Obviously, she would be mopping up spills etc. or even chucking in a load of washing etc would be ok with me.

You could look into changing childminders. There are plenty who will provide tea (may charge a little more).

I wouldn't have very high expectations of specific activities that she might do after school with your kids, though. What would you do with them if they were home with you? Bearing in mind that you have to get dinner on and generally keep everyone happy.

Also, the children have just been at school for 6 hours. They don't need to be busy busy busy all the time.

I am fairly chilled about what DS does with CM as long as he isn;t parked in front of TV all day - like Littelfish I expect him to do pretty much what he would do with me. Degree of light housework OK, playing in garden OK etc.

I think its very odd that she makes dinner for her family but doesn;t feed your DC's at the same time - I would have an issue with that - perhaps offer to pay her for their tea-time meal on top?

mwah, mwah!

I always agree with Littlefish 'cos she is pretty.

Well, the activities thing sounds OK'ish, but the food thing is a bit odd. I don't really understand how she feels comfortable feeding her own family, whilst your lo's have to wait for you!

I think you ought to have a word with her about meals. If you have to pay more, then so be it, but to make little ones wait (and possibly watch) whilst the family eats theirs, doesn't sound very friendly! The whole point of using a CM is that you want a family atmosphere, isn't it?

Why are you a Friar?

As a CM myself I would say No this isn`t normal, should have it in your contract how much notice is expected to be given for time off unless an emergency, your contract should have been agreed by both of you at start. I provide food for kids i care for and if they are there at meal times they eat with my family unless parents have already asked for them not to in which case I provide a small snack.

Sorry - forgot the bit about taking time off. I agree with NB27 re. notice.

FWIW, in 3 years, my childminder has only had a day off if either she or her own children were vomitting! I think it's happened about 3 times. Obviously, I didn't have any notice when this happened, and had to take time off work.

My dd has been to the GP and nurse with my childminder when the cm had an appointment. Dd thought it was wonderful! It's just all part of the "family experience" that Maureen mentions.

Thank you for all the replies

DC are 6 and 7.

I would be happy to pay a little extra for meals, how much do you think is reasonable?

The time off she takes is for social stuff, not appts etc. I think in 18 months there have been 4 occasions of this.

4 occaions isn't too bad in 18 month but the short notice isn't great at all.

I would certainly look around and see what else there is in the area - it will also give you an idea of going rates including & excluding tea. These vary hugely by area often determined by supply & demand! School dinners cost £1.80 per day here though but my cm includes lunch & snacks in her hourly rates she doesn't work beyond 5 so doesn't do tea times.

My cm charges £4.30 per hour which includes meals and snacks. I think she's probably quite expensive but she only ever has 3 children at a time during the day.

I pay an extra £1.50 a day for dd to have her tea at the CM's. She mostly plays with the other children there but is usually the last to be collected so after the others have gone she sits in the CM's kitchen and does drawing or colouring whilst the CM starts the family meal. I have no problem with that, as others have said it's what she would do at home at that sort of time.

It's the short notice days off that would put me off tbh. We've only been with our CM for a few months but she has never had any time off. I need a reliable CM.

Are you sure she is a registered childminder? She doesn't sound very professional, if she's taking time off for social engagements at short notice and hasn't even suggested that she feed your lo's.

I minded for 12 years and I always felt guilty if I had to feed DD early for any reason! Most of my mindees parents chose to feed them themselves, but there were occassions when DD had a club to go to or something and needed her dinner. DH and I, however, always had to wait until gone 7 or even 8, if I had mindees who weren't being fed. I felt too guilty!

As a cm I have done more than your's with after school children, and less! Depends on teh child basically, some children I have minded have wanted to do four or five craft activities and games everyday, some just want to watch TV or read. If your children are happy then I would be happy, but if they are saying tey are bored there then I think that needs rethinking.

Notice for time off should be on contract, housework - no, but preparing impending meal and clearing up after the children yes.

I agree with MML, doesn't sound very family friendly - I CANNOT BEAR children here not eating with us, any mindees here when we eat, eat with us. I insist on it!

Are there other minders who pick up from your dcs school??

Apology for hijack

Tigerfeet - did I read on another thread that you are pg? If so, huge congratulations. If not, sorry for the mistake .

Woooo Hoooooo. That's great news. Hope you have a happy and trouble free pregnancy.

Thanks . I have hyperemesis and haven't eaten much for the past 6 or 7 weeks and have lost well over a stone. Good job I'm not skinny .

OP, sorry for the hijack

I know a few childminders who don't feed their charges but I can't imagine them making and eating a meal in front of them!

Some children like to relax after school and some like to do activities, I would discuss this with her.

I think you need to look at your contract for answers to alot of your questions.

We eat as a family at 6pm after the mindees have left. Some parents want their children fed and some don't, so it is difficult to feed some and not others. I do provide a healthy after school snack for the children. They rarely watch TV. They have free choice of activities after school - some read their books or do their homework, but mostly they charge around the garden getting the school cobwebs out of their hair. I am contracted to give 4 weeks notice of any time off (except sickness) and usually give more than this.

Hope this helps?

It's all about communication - I would chat with her and ask her to feed them when she does her own family, saying you'll pay a little extra. It makes sense your kids eat at that time with her.

If she isn't keen to feed them (for whatever reason - many CMs don't as we have to register as a catering establishment and adhere to strict regs re food preparation etc.), then supply her with food for your kids, which she just needs to heat up.

If she isn't keen to do this either, maybe you should find a new childminder, as she is unable to offer you the service you require for your kids.

Re the notice - what is in your contract? You should get decent notice period for leave!

Hi i was a childminder's assistant and have also done the childminding course. I know that short notice for time off doesn't sound right and you should check your contract there. I was shocked as well abot cooking a meal in front of the children while only offering them a snack-like tea.

It's quite possible that you have to provide you're own food as it's up to individual childminders whether or not they include that in the price.

On the score of doing more with the children, it's not on to do lots of housework while childminding.

Certainly the essential things such as general upkeep of the environment the children are in but at the end of the day your childminder is "at work" until the last child is collected and should be doing more with them.

Other housework should be saved to do in their own time.

I would definately say there are much better quality of childminders out there than the one you described even though they may be doing all that's in their contract.

I would look for another childminder. Mine has only had one instance of short notice absence - because she was in hospital! That is in 6 months, my last childminder we were with for over a year, and never had any.

I checked when we went to a new childminder that she would provide tea, as it was important to me that DS (toddler) ate before 6.30 - 7 when we get home. If you don't feel able to raise it with her, that isn't a good sign!

Hmm, look for another CM.
You are paying her to look after your DC, so I would expect them to be entertained and fed and wouldn't be happy about her last minute social engagements either.
Either she is a CM, or she isn't and at the moment she seems more like a friend doing a favour tbh