Help does my child prefer my childminder?

[mojomands]

My child is now 13 months and has visited a childminder 3 days a week since she was 7 months. She loves it there and loves the childminder. My problem is picking her up - she screams in my arms and kicks to go back to the childminder. Does she prefer her to me -why does she do this it's upsetting and I've no control of her till we drive off back home - at which point she's fine!

My child is now 13 months and has visited a childminder 3 days a week since she was 7 months. She loves it there and loves the childminder. My problem is picking her up - she screams in my arms and kicks to go back to the childminder. Does she prefer her to me -why does she do this it's upsetting and I've no control of her till we drive off back home - at which point she's fine!

No - I was a childminder and all of mine did the same, one would even slap his parents if they came down to his level, they are very good a guilt trips even at that young age, they are just having a good time and dont see why they should be taken away from something they are enjoying doing...HTH

No, of course she doesn't!!!! She is just exercising her power. Don't let it rattle you - it is only a phase. Both mine have done this at various stages & tbh, I just felt relieved because it was an indication of how happy they were at the childminders.

Thanks for that - I am thankful she's happy there but did start to wonder whether I wasn't doing enough with her during her time with me. I didn't realise a child could have such a strong personality at such an early age (should have expected it with two headstrong parents!).

The little boy I mind is 2 and he is always pleased to see his mum but when it's time to get his coat on he hides behind the sofa.
Also while he is with me I have one other child but they get my full attention, I don't have to hoover or get jobs done like you have to do as a parent at home with kids. He is also an only child so i think he likes having someone else to play with cos he's on his own at home. Just my opinion though.

That makes sense - my little girl still isn't mobile so I am able to get on with things leaving her to her own devices quite often. She too is an only child - better hurry up and have another one eh!

My DD dis this too when she was around this age. I figured it was due to the childminder having a lot more toys and kids to play with. DD loved it there. And in the end I decided that if she was unhappy about leaving that meant she was happy all day. So, while I completely appreciate how you must feel (and I didn't like it much either) I knew deep down that what really mattered was DD's happiness, not mine.

So I took comfort in know she like her childminder. And just figured my ego was my problem -- it certainly was harming her.

Uwila

Just so I know - how old was she whenshe grew out of this. Also I'm new to this website - what an earth does DD mean?

DD- Dear Daughter
DS- Dear Son
DH- Dear Husband
DP- Deap Partner
and so on...

I'm afraid I won't be a huge help regarding when she outgrew it because when she was about 15 months old we got a nanny and so it wasn't an issue any more.

mojomands, click on "acronym list" at the top. it'll give you all the abbreviations.