Nanny quit suddenly Grandma has offered to step in with help how to make it all work????

[WorriedM]

My nanny who I kept on through my 2nd maternity leave in order for DS1 to have some continuity of care has just announced she is leaving to return to a job in a nursery 10 days before I am due to return to work. I am completely devastated and have extended my maternity leave initially but my mother who is brilliant with small children has agreed to step in with some help from a mothers help/ live out au pair type person. This was actually my suggestion as my 3 year old is, erm, spirited and I also have an 8 month old and I thought 3 days a week, which is what I need, would be just too much for her.
Has anyone had any experience of this type of situation? Have had lots of replies to ad on gumtree but most of them as far as I can tell have actually been acting as sole charge nannies many with qualifications, and may not take kindly to orders from my lovely but slightly bossy ex nursery teacher mother. On the other hand they need to have some interest and affinity with children and not just be a housekeeper as there will be times when she needs to give one of them attention and the other needs to be happy playing/eating with/going to nursery with the 'helper' . Should i go for the best person I can get for the money being offered (£7-£8 net for 24 hr week depending on age/experience). Or go for someone less 'qualified' but happier to take orders from mum IYSWIM? She will interview them with me of course and some of it will depend on whether they 'click' but I am doing the initial sifting through the hundred or so replies (?!)

Where are you Worried M?

If you are paying £7-£8 Net (make sure you agree the wage as GROSS in the contract), then I feel that is quite high for a mothers (grandmothers in this case) help. It is I feel more a qualified, experienced nannies wage.
May be better getting someone for less money, who is prepared to do more of the household tasks... with childcare being an occasional thing. That way, your mother can do the childcare role leaving the mothers help to do the cooking, washing etc.

Worried M - it is lovely of your Mum to offer and I think in the short term her help will be invaluable. However, I think you'd be better of getting another nanny. I think the set up with your Mum & a helper has all the ingredients to be the biggest PITA for you TBH.

If you decide to stick with the helper/au pair option, IMO you'd be better off with a younger girl who is just really nice and will fit in with everyone (be more adaptable to your Mums ways!!) as she'll rarely (if ever) have sole charge of them for any length of time.

BTW - Crappy thing of your Nanny to do this close to you returning to work when she's had all of your maternity leave to sort herself out

Yes I know Chipping In. Am trying to be civil about it but I feel really bad for my elder one-she's (nanny) not had much to do with the baby. We are in outer London which may be why the wage sounds high? We were paying the nanny £10 net/hr which is why I thought £7-8 net for those hours (24 hrs over 3 days) seemed reasonable. I agree it might be easier in some ways getting another nanny but I jut can't face the emotional upheaval for me and the kids-she is our second nanny, first was lovely but part of a nannyshare based at our old flat-when we moved to the burbs she understandably didn't want to follow. My poor little boy is only 3! Can't face him having to get used to someone else. They both adore my mum so my hope is that whether the au pair/help type person comes and goes at least they will have the emotional security of my mum being there.
I think you're right someone younger with lots of energy to run about in the garden with a football but willing to take on the housework cooking washing aspect of the job as well as be sensible enough to cope with sole charge for short periods of say half an hour while mum does the school run. Now to sift through the cvs.......! Thank you all for your input!!!

It's tough on DS1 one to have to have a new childcare arrangement on top of adjusting to a new baby and you going back to work [so I'm really less than impressed with your Nanny ].

However, that said (again ) I think most children adapt really well to changes in their childcare arrangements and as long as you get a nice new nanny it shouldn't be too bad for DS1 - and a LOT better than the constant hassle I think the other option will generate!! I don't know your Mum so hate to generalise but honestly I think it's going to be a right nightmare managing your Mum and a 'helper' - either one is hard enough work but both together...

I (note the I as I am sure many will jump in to disagree)... I think that often the grandchild/grandparent role can get 'spolit' when the grandparent becomes a carer - some of the joy & delight at the time spent together is taken away by the daily 'caring' IFSWIM but once again OMO

I know Chipping In and if I knew the new nanny was going to be a 'keeper' I would not hesitate but can't face someone who comes along and then moves on after 18 months again. I thought our most recent nanny was going to be a 'keeper' (lives locally, we are paying well for the area plus allowance, car insurance, generous Christmas presents etc -and there are not a lot of nanny jobs around here) but heigh ho. So I will have to try and manage the hassle! TBH as long as my children are happy I don't mind but it will be a lot more work than having a full on nanny for me and i certainly won't be able to call on mum for extra babysitting at other times! I think we will do a 'trial run' from when I go back to work to October/November when DS should have settled in to reception and then review...Thanks once again. BTW I am LadyG in case anyone thought I was a newble name changed because i wasn;'t sure if my nanny came on here and read my post but actually-I don't care if she does I am so

as lovely as your mum sounds, i agree you prob need a nanny and then granny to be a back up if nanny is ill/needs time off

children are very adaptable, and if you get a lovely nanny sure older child will be just fine

i am at your nanny - what shew] has done is out of order and very unprofessional - yes nannies leave jobs and move on, but she must have known/been looking for a while and has left you up shit creek without a paddle imo!!

try putting ads on NJ and also netmums

3 8hr days sound fab

WorriedM/LadyG I know that 18 months sounds like a 'short stay' for you, but for your DS it is a LONG time... honestly, they are so much more adaptable than we give them credit for! As long as the Nanny is nice he'll be fine

As BHMF also said - I think getting a Nanny and having your Mum for a back up and other random babysitting would be a much better option...

If I was you, I wouldn't care if 'Nanny' was reading this now either... [and if you are... it's a crappy thing you are doing!! Handing your notice in 10 days before MB is returning to work having been on maternity leave GRRRR ]