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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Would you expect a nanny to be warm towards dc in the interview?

20 replies

workingmom2000 · 19/02/2009 12:29

We have just started the process of interviewing nannies. I've only met one so far and while she was good in terms of what all she said she would do - I noticed that she kind of ignored my baby (who she'll supposedly be taking care of).

Would it be that she was just too focused on impressing me and forgot about the baby being in the room? Or should I be concerned !

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 19/02/2009 12:31

Go with your gut feeling.

meemar · 19/02/2009 12:32

I've no experience, but I would have expected her to show at least some interest in the child. You would expect it to come naturally for someone who chooses to work with babies!

Supernanny19 · 19/02/2009 12:40

At my interviews I usally sit on the floor with the kids play and talk to the mum. the children are usally aged 8months to 4yo..bit hard when there younger.

willowthewispa · 19/02/2009 12:41

I'm a nanny, and I would always show an interest in the children - make eye contact, chat to them etc - in the interview. However, I know some nannies get down on the floor or initiate games with children in interviews, and to be honest I wouldn't as it would just feel a bit forced to me, and I'd feel self conscious and like I was trying too hard to impress. So a lot will depend on the nanny's personality.

Also, I know from experience children can be shy with strangers, and I don't want to freak them out by being too in their face! I'd like to avoid making anyone cry in a job interview

I once got a job with baby twins - during the interview the babies were on the floor, and I did ask the mum at one point if it was ok to pick one up. When she offered me the job she said I was the only candidate that had spoken to or touched the babies at all.

One other thing though - I think sometimes parents can expect too much child-interaction at interviews, it's a really artificial atmosphere and the nanny is likely to be a bit nervous. One interview I had the toddler took a bracelet from my wrist and threw it behind the sofa (in a typical toddler way) and the mum made it clear she wanted me to tell the child off and discipline her. It just made me really uncomfortable tbh, as I didn't know the child and probably wouldn't have dealt with the behaviour by "disciplining" anyway.

blueshoes · 19/02/2009 12:45

workingmum, one tip is during the interview (perhaps for future reference) is to leave the room for a short time leaving the nanny alone with the baby eg to make a cup of tea. And observe what she is doing when you come back.

If she did not interact with the baby, not a good sign.

georgimama · 19/02/2009 12:51

How old is the baby?

Could you ask her back for a second interview - say it's to meet your husband or something and then try out what blueshoes said?

Original poster

workingmom2000 · 19/02/2009 13:09

Hmm yeah that's a good tip. I will definitely try it with the others at least for now.
The baby is 4 months old, so maybe that could be the reason why.
Another nanny that I'm hoping to see soon, showed more interest on the phone, asking ds's name etc !

OP posts:

Ebb · 19/02/2009 13:45

Yes I would definately expect a nanny at an interview to interact/respond with the child/ren. I have always got down to the childrens level at interviews but I guess if she was a relatively new nanny she may have been a bit nervous perhaps?

Definately second observing the nannies reaction if you leave the room. I helped interview for my replacement when I went on maternity leave and one nanny turned up 40 minutes late ( no phonecall ) and hardly interacted with the baby. By contrast the next nanny arrived an hour early ( apologizing profusely as she was so early - she did come a long way ) and when I came back with a coffee, she was on the floor with the baby smiling away at her. She got the job and was/is lovely!

nickschick · 19/02/2009 13:56

Many years ago whilst being interviewed for a nannying job the little boy I was to be nannying for was playing in the garden on a climbing frame(unsupervised)-as the interview was being carried out the parents were sat with their backs to the window(whilst asing me v personal questions i thought 'my place in my own family??') the little boy fell through the bars !!!! and his foot twisted so his shoe was stuck saving him from falling - I instinctively just dashed out to help him and got him down and his dad came out to ask if i wanted to resume the interview!!! -he was actually put out that id not told him my place in the family and rushed to rescue his son.

I declined the interview and went home - his wife phoned shortly after to offer me the job plus 10 hours cleaning a week!!!.

I declined politely.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/02/2009 15:50

it is hard to interact with babies, but i have always had a cuddle and game of boo etc

older ones i am happy to get on floor and play, but again you dont want to seem desperat and pushy

the out of the room tip sounds good

nannynick · 19/02/2009 18:41

Interacting with babies I don't feel is harder than interacting with older children - in some ways it is easier, as baby doesn't run around the house!

I met a 3 1/2 month old baby boy earlier this month and during that meeting, I got to hold him. I find that parent's are quite protective of their baby at first but once you have been there a little while, then they relax a bit and let you hold their PFB.

Failure to interact with the child, however old they are, in my view is failing to get the job.

When meeting children with autism, or suspected... I find that those children can be very tricky to interact with. However I give such meetings an hour... by the end of that hour, the child will have sat on me (or jumped on me), or lay on me. If that does not occur, then I know it won't work out.

SammyK · 19/02/2009 18:49

No interest at all?? She didn't smile at baby, play boo, pass a rattle? NOthing? Weird!

All I can think of is worry that baby would cry and shy away but blimey!

If she was good in every other way ask her back and do the out of room trick, otherwise go with your instinct.

EffiePerine · 19/02/2009 18:50

odd. I'd expect her to have a cuddle

mogs0 · 19/02/2009 19:52

I had a cm interview with a family whose baby was about 5 months old. It was a bit of a last minute meeting so I wasn't fully prepared and I get very nervous at interviews. Half way home I realised I hadn't had a cuddle with the baby but they arranged another meeting at my place to look around and, again, after they'd left I realised I still hadn't got my hands on the baby!! I did end up looking after her and we all got on very well!

Infact, at the interview for my current nanny position the baby's Mum kept telling me how clingy her ds was at that moment and kept him on her knee.

What are her refs like?

Shelley33 · 19/02/2009 19:54

I'm a nanny and she should have made some effort to talk to your baby! In interviews I've had, I will talk, smile make funny faces etc, to engage with the child/children, but I don't force it as I think most children need 'to check out the new person' in their own way, I prefer it to be on their terms not mine. Having said that it usually only takes 10mins and I am being presented with a toy, book to read, being climbed on, or as I have long hair most little girls want to brush it for me!!

I would interview other candidates before going any further with this nanny.

callaird · 20/02/2009 19:38

In the interview for my current position, the babies were 6 weeks old and I was holding R within 2 mins of arriving, he fell asleep on me. I did ask if they would miss them if I just left with them!! Mum said bring them back when they are sleeping through!

I cannot imagine going for an interview and not playing, chatting or holding the children, I remember my 2nd boss (19 years ago!) told me after I had left that he picked me because I spent over an hour in the boys bedroom playing cars with T, who had recently lost his mum and wouldn't even look at any of the other girls that came for interview and they didn't try to interact with him. That was a bloody hard job!!!

I agree with the others, go with your gut instinct. Even if she didn't play/cuddle him she should have said how gorgeous he is or similar!! I always gush over babies!

patriciawentworthheroine · 20/02/2009 20:33

I too am interviewing nannies, for my first ever nanny job.

I've interviewed about six and only one seemed to interact warmly and spontaneously with the children at the interview. My DH and I told ourselves that this could be because the others were nervous/trying to be professional/didn't want to be pushy but it was no good - our gut feeling meant we ONLY wanted to consider the one who had been nice with the kids.

I agree with another poster that it's actually easier to interact with a baby (they'll generally smile at anyone) than with my occasionally sullen/awkward DCs of 4 and 2 for example, so the fact that the OP's child is a baby is not an excuse.

I still think that experience/quals/convincing answers to interview questions etc count for just as much IN MY HEAD but in my wobbly, emotional, about to return to work HEART, it's all about how loving and affectionate nannies seem.

Which I guess is a confusing message to all those nannies out there! I also think that some childcarers may be wary of touching/holding kids without asking, in case parents freak out, which I would understand. In one interview, DC3 (6 months) was crying in bouncy chair when I was out of the room and candidate didn't pick her up - I presumed that was because she couldn't ask me if it was okay, rather than because she didn' care!

Nabster · 20/02/2009 20:35

I would expect the nanny to say hello to the child and then see how things went.

a nanny is not going to jump in and take hold of the baby. you wouldn't want 20 potential nannies all taking the baby.

nannies also get vibes from parents as to whether they would be receptive to you (the nanny) taking the baby or doing more than saying hello.

nannynick · 20/02/2009 23:10

I disagree... a nanny is going to jump in and take hold of the baby. Jump In though may be the wrong wording, it's more a case of waiting for the appropriate time, I feel.
That time may be when the baby crawls over to them... when the parents are out of the room and the child wants attention/calming... or could be when the parent (who until then has been holding baby) offers baby over for the prospective nanny to hold (if baby then pukes over nanny and the nanny shrugs it off as one of those things that happen, it's a sure sign that baby likes this candidate!
Much harder when the child is 6, 7, 8 years old. Babies and toddlers are easy in my view... they can show you who they like, and who they don't.
If you have a cat... when the cat sits on the nannies lap, that's another good sign in my view. Cats are very picky about who they sit on.
Nabster - if you are interviewing 20 potential nannies, you are doing something wrong in the short-listing process!

PatriciaWWH A good nanny in my view will have all the formal qualifications you desire, plus trigger your 'gut instinct'.

Nabster · 21/02/2009 08:07

Ity was just a number!

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