Childminders, do you make children share their own toys?

[tooprecious]

I have a friend who is a childminder. Today I have been round there with my DS who is 5 (half term). One of the minded children (who is the same age and in my DS's class) had bought a toy from home which he was NOT playing with, my DS started playing with it, the minded child said, no you can't play with that (fair enough that is what children do). However my friend (the childminder), said I can't make hime share that as it is his. My DS was visibly quite upset by this and I was shocked. I never say that children can't play with things because it is my DS's. I now feel that when the minded child comes to my house why should I make my DS share his toys (I would'nt do that as it is wrong IMHO) but I am and about this. I was'nt a special toy like a comforter BTW.

Do you as childminders make minded children share their toys or put them away until home time? Am I being precious?

I don't think Twims's post is as strange as the OP's tbh.

Seems unbelievable to me that a 5 year old would get so upset at being told he couldn't have a particular toy that his mother feels the need to come on here and suggest that the other child should be forced to share it and his childminder should have to change her way of working to suit the OP and her son.

Never mind what the childminder should or shouldn't be teaching the kids. Who's to say she's not teaching (rather than forcing) them to share, anyway? I think the OP should be teaching her son that he can't have everything he wants. At 5, he ought to be able to cope with that without getting so upset.

But surely its every adults job to teach children, whether minded or your own, to share and share alike, both children are 5, so are of the same age in understanding. If toys are not to be shared then put them away.

I had a friend whose children wouldnt share their toys but always got all of my kids toys out when they were at our house.
My kids are very generous teens now and hers are still obnoxious, spoilt little shits who she complains about all the time.. whose fault though... its what you teach toddlers that comes back to bite you later, good and bad..

I agree it's important to teach children to share, but I think it is better to encourage rather than to force. There's no evidence that this childminder is not teaching children to share in her own way.

My way of teaching children to share is obviously different to yours. That doesn't mean either of us is wrong and I'm sure you have as much success in teaching them to share as I do.

I don't agree that every child should be made to share their own personal toy in this way. I believe they should have the right to refuse and to put it away. My experience is that, so long as they know their rights are respected and their ownership is not challenged, they will share naturally and happily.

Surely if I visited your house and wanted to share or borrow any of your personal possessions that happened to be within reach, you would expect to have the right to say no. I feel that that children should have the same right extended to them.

I have recently worked as an assistant for a cm and the children had to share toys brought from home unless they were a comforter, then it would be out of reach until needed. Toy's brought from home was also discouraged anyway as there were plenty of toys at the cm's home.

There might have been a good reason why she didn't insist on sharing it - and to be honest, I don't think it is unreasonable anyway. This thread is reminding me of something I read in one of those humour / parenting style books - the author was talking about how she got really angry at her son for not sharing a special toy - the other child's mother said to her, "Please don't make him share it - how would you feel if someone came in your house and demanded to wear your wedding dress?"
Sharing is good, but children, like adults, have the right to their own stuff!