Hello,
I'm struggling with my choice to send my 12 month daughter to a creche. Today was her first introduction day, and I was hoping the experience would feel right in my gut. But it didn't.
Im a single mum who's been going strong with zero support abroad 24/7 since the start. Along the way I've had burnouts and health troubles, so I've been granted a 2 day subsidy for child care to give some relief. I've been elated since getting that news! But now that its finally happening my instinct is torn in the middle.
Ive never been into attachment parenting. But recent readings on the subject have made a lot of sense to me in some respects, with regards to a childs developmental stages, dependance, then independance, then interdependance etc...And it seems to be true from what I've seen so far that babies only really function in a group from about 2-3 years of age. So I'm wondering if my initial excitement that my daughter would benefit from the group environment of a creche may have been misguided. Shes a very strong and unfearful character. And does definately reach out to make enthusiastic connection with other children. But I still wonder if this big jump of being away from me for 2 full days may jeopardise the secure relationhip we built together, and somehow ruin her trust in me as her primary caregiver, and put us at a distance? The other reason I did choose a creche initially, was because I could reason with myself that a child was more protected by a staff-team environment, and that behind closed doors with a single childminder you never really know what goes on. Those are awful thoughts, I know. But the fact that the thoughts are are there in my mind means I cant ignore them.
It just made me really sad today to see those children being left there by their parents, and even a very small baby crying for her mummy. I began to question the whole thing, and was very close to changing my mind and re-committing to a 24/7 week again, even though it's draining me on every level and making me ill. I know my having cold feet is a totally normal reaction, and that its hard for every mother to go through this. But I'm having a debate in my mind about how much of it is normal and ok, and how much of it is my instinct as a mother giving me the right signals. I just want to gain some strength for the toddler stage and get well again. But I also see the first 3 years of a childs life as such an incredibly important foundation with regards to tending to a childs developing emotions and their sense of where they fit in the world.
Can anyone share their thoughts/views/experiences of both the creche and the childminder senarios, both positive and negative? And also if anyone has any tips on how to make this a smoother transition, or things to look out for at the creche or a childminder? Its totally new for me, and not having a partner to dicuss it with or bounce ideas off means I sometimes grab too firmly on my own instincts and then regret it later!
Thanks. I appreciate the support
Lou