Smoking

[ktjj84]

My mother-in law has offered to care for our baby while i return to work. However she is a smoker and smokes in the house, she's told us that she will smoke in the garden when caring for the baby, but i'm really concerned about the health of my child?

Any views on this???

don't use her!
if you're not happy about the smoking it will put a strain on your relationship and baby will stink of fags even if MIL does smoke outside.

I am a CM and I smoke- NOT around the children or when I am out with them.
If she is going to smoke she needs to wear a coat over her clothes which is left at the door. Wash hands thoroughly after and clean teeth/mints after and not have direct face contact for 10 mins i.e. cuddling IMO. She also needs to shut the door to the house to stop it drifting in.
I don't like the idea of any smoke being in the house and me and DH do all of the above if we smoke. If I am on my own with my dds I wait until they are in bed and chew gum during the day.

Ktjj84, how old is your baby?

5 months old

xx

What other options for childcare do you have? The cost savings of using a relative are large, but if you don't want your child to smell of smoke, be around someone who smokes, then your MIL is not going to be an option.

My MIL is a smoker, and even if she smokes outside whilst we are there, I always stink when I leave their home - it's in everything, the furniture, the curtains etc., plus as a severe asthmatic it's very dangerous for me.

I wouldn't let my child be privy to passive smoking in any form, sorry, their lil lungs are trying to develop and in a smoker's home there are health hazards that a baby just doesn't need (even if she doesn't actually smoke inside when my child is there).

could you mil care for your baby in your own house, therefore cutting out the lingering all the time smokers smell of her own house?

and mil only smoke outside at yours?

Don't use her. I just don't know how we all managed back in the 1970's our mums used to smoke all the time around us (or my mum did) and these days it disgusts me even more when i see people smoking whilst pregnant and with young babies when they all know the risks with smoking.
My mum still smokes and has got much worse and is a 100+ a day smoker as she has dementia and goes totally ape if she can't have a ciggie.
I don't take the children to visit her anymore

Could be a good solution there Blondeshavemorefun!

i try

100+ a day

That's , ripeberry, your poor mum.

i would not use her, either. my mum died a slow, sad death over a period of 10 years through smoking. i hate it with a passion and it really completely without doubt stinks and lingers.

I emphathise No.4 My father died of liver and lung disease last year, too much drinking and smoking...

I wouldn't use her either but try and couch it by saying it is worries about the baby rather than criticisms of her. Maybe your DH should talk to her, his mother after all.

I'm a smoker (gave up for almost a year, now back on the cigs) although I'm not a CM.
Of course it is up to you and I understand and accept that non-smokers feel strongly about this but would she give good care to your baby?
As a Mum I feel horrified that anyone would think that my DD wasn't cared for properly, or raised properly because I'm a smoker.

Dillydaydreamer,s advice is good. I'll admit I don't do this but I think it's something to follow.
Your child may be fantastically well cared for by his gran and the smoking issue could be kept to a minimum following her advice.

A smoker can raise a child prefectly well but caring for them properly is different in my honest opinion as smoking is a killer. I have an illness due to my Grandma smoking and I wouldn't entertain a smoker anywhere near my children.

i have no doubt that a person who smokes can look after a child perfectly well.

it is the smell and the wanting to nip out every now and then that would put me off.

before i sound too much like a self righteous pita, i am an ex smoker - 20 to 40 a day depending on if I was out on the town.....

Smoke clings to everything. I'm a non smoker and can't stand smelling of smoke, and it plays havoc with my nose and breathing, but I have the option to avoid it when I can.

'it is the smell and the wanting to nip out every now and then that would put me off. '

... and the unseen damage it's doing to everyone's lungs, aside from the smoker!

number 4 - ex smokers are always the worst

well done for giving up