Au pair questions..

[DSM]

I am looking for some help, I think an au pair is what I need.

I am a single mother, currently living at home but need to move out. My son is 4 and goes to nursery in the afternoons. He stays at his dads house 2 nights a week, and can will stay at my parents at least one night every weekend.

I work full time, days and nights on a shift pattern that includes weekends.

I am looking for someone to live with me and help me take care of my son.
They would have to get up and take care of him on:
Monday - morning - 6pm
Tuesday - morning - 10/11am
Wednesday - none
Thursday - 5pm - bedtime (and stay in overnight)
Friday - morning - noon (drop off at nursery)
Saturday - none
Sunday - none

Can anyone tell me if this is feasible for an au pair? I don't much about au pairs and really need some advice. What do I need to pay them, what else do I need to provide?

Any advice at all will be GREATLY appreciated.

Hi, an aupair isn't supposed to have sole charge of a child for long periods.
They should work 20-25 hours a week. I would say that what you need would be ok for an aupair EXCEPT the huge long stint on a Monday.
That is for a nanny not an aupair.

How many hours would that be? I think it would be ok for an aupair.

I don't see why one long day wouldn't be ok for an au pair so long as it's within their weekly hours kitty.

In general, au pairs stay in your house and do about 25 hours of 'work' for about £60-80 per week plus their food and occasionally extras like gym membership/mobile phones. APs are not trained in childcare or first aid and are generally not suited to leaving in sole charge of under 3s. Having said that, if you are very choosey when recruiting you can find APs who you can feel reasonably confident of leaving sole charge with an older (I would say toilet trained and talking) child.
For example, my last AP had 18 months experience in a kindergarten and was doing a teaching degree so she would have been fine to look after children for long periods by herself. Current AP has 18 months of part-time 'nannying' experience with toddler/pre-schooler.
If you need more than 25 hours then you might need to advertise for an Au pair plus - who generally do up to 30 hours for £80-100 per week (plus food/lodging etc).
APs also require time to go to language classes (in my area there are daytime and evening courses) so it might be worth looking into the courses available in your region.

Thank you everyone for your responses.

Is there any other advice? I am assuming I can't afford a professional nanny. Also, would an Au pair do cooking/cleaning, or at least a share of it, or would they expect to be 'looked after' in that way?

I am aware that they would have no childcare or first aid training, but not too bothered as, well, basically neither do I, nor most mothers.
I would hope to be lucky enough to find someone like you did Millarkie.

So - I would pay them say, £100 a week, plus they would live with me rent and bill free? Is that correct?

It sounds fine for an aupair

Okay.. so now if it is an au pair I am looking for, how do I go about doing it?

And if I find one, can I ask them not to start until I find a flat, or would I have to pay them and ask them to start off as live-out?

What I really would like, is for me and my son to move into a place together, with someone else there who will help out, give us both company and look after him while I am at work/asleep in the mornings.

I want someone who we will become friends with, who will care about him and do activities with him, and essentially become my friend rather than employee.

Is this a pipe dream, or has anyone else had this experience?

You can always send the au pair on a first aid course - St. John's Ambulance do them.

You would provide the au pair with their own bedroom, all food, maybe a car if you need them to drive or a travelcard? Possibly a phone too? Try looking on gumtree and www.aupair-world.net to get an idea of who is out there and what other families offer.

You could include some cooking and light housework in the au pair's working hours, but they should also be treated like a family member and help out with clearing the table after meals etc. I think the role is kind of like a younger sister to the parents/older sister to the children.

Au pairs live in, so I think you have to have somewhere to live first. FWIW I became good friends with my au pair host mother (also a single mum) and am still in touch with her and her daughter 6 years on.

Thank you tankie, I a hoping I can get a relationship like that.

I am in a quandary, I can't move in alone without an aupair, but can't get an aupair without a flat. How very catch 22.

I think it would be hard to get an AP who would live-out and then become live-in - because of the expense for them of living out and because of the hassle for them of finding somewhere to stay in a foreign country (unless you found them somewhere to stay and paid for it).
We found our au pairs from www.aupair_world.net, you write a profile (information about your family and what the duties are) and either wait for an AP to show interest in you, or you can search for APs that match your criteria and contact them. You have to pay about £30 to get the email address or phone numbers of the au pairs. At that stage I send out a long email all about our family, house, area we live in, things they can do in their time off, and a typical day plan. If they reply to that I ask for details of their experience, likes/dislikes etc. And if we seem compatible we move on to more chatty emails/phone calls. (and check references!)
There is a high drop out rate (for my next au pair we started with 70 applicants and got down to 2 good ones) so be prepared for a lot of ups and downs.
My au pair does a little child watching after school, some cleaning of kitchen/living room/hall (not bathrooms) and walks our dog. Friend's APs also do simple cooking, kids washing, tidying up toys. The detail of the job depends on whatever you agree with the AP, but the more demanding you are (and with long hours of childcare there will not be much time for cleaning etc) the harder it will be to recruit in my experience.
I think of our APs as teenage daughters..sociable and ok for a chat but definitely a generation away from me (maybe I'm just old though )

You would definitely need to find somewhere to live first as they obviously couldn' afford to live out on an au pair's salary.
I think the hours/ duties sound fine for an au pair. The 25 hours is a guide. It depends on the age/ experience of the au pair and what she may want to do also; some want to attend college a lot and others may prefer to do more work and earn more money.
I would have a look on gumtree or au pair world.

I think your relationship with the au pair will really depend on you and the au pair! I was an older au pair anyway in my early twenties. The first job I had I really got on well with the mum and became friends - she trusted me to do my job and we were quite "equal" at home. The second job I had, I also got on well with the parents though we didn't become great friends, but for example the mum took me to the tv studio she worked in to see something being filmed, and then out to a bar with her work colleagues afterwards. Both mums were late 30s.

Au-Pairs technically no longer exist in the UK, as Au-Pair was an immigration category which was closed on 26 November 2008. It has been replaced by the Youth Mobility Scheme.

This is actually good for you, as it removes restrictions on number of hours worked and removes the need to attend language lessons.

European Citizens can work in the UK without the need for immigration paperwork - applies to EEA and Switzerland citizens. Note: Special rules apply for Bulgarian and Romanian nationals.

A national of the Czech Republic, Estonia, Hungary, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Slovakia or Slovenia who wants to work for one month or more for a United Kingdom employer must register under the Worker Registration Scheme.

An employee who lives at your home is not covered by National Minimum Wage legislation. Therefore you can pay them what you like. If you pay below the current threshold for NICs - currently £90, AND that employee does not have any other job, then you do not need to register as an employer. If you pay above the NICs threshold, or if the person has another job, then you need to contact the New Employers Helpline (0845 60 70 143 8am-8pm Mon-Fri, 8am-5pm Sat/Sun) for further guidance.

£90 rate is per week. It increases to £95 for tax year 2009/10 - so from April 2009.

hi nannynick, do you think that people from new eu countries apart from bulgaria and romanians actually need wrs registration? they did not need it when they worked as aupairs before /strangely bulgarians and romanians did/.

They do not appear to be exempt. However I can't see what the benefits of the Worker Registration Scheme are... apart from as evidence for applying for permanent residency at a future date.
Applying on form EEA1 appears to be free. I'm wondering why the scheme exists at all.

wrs i believe is to treck down how many people come to the uk. a bit expensive way for the applicant though

The au apair could do some housework on Wednesdays. £100 seems a lot. Most people on MN seem to pay £55 - £90 p.w., but I suppose the long stint on a Monday and the overnight are a lot of responsibility.