Help with questions for AP referees please.

[Millarkie]

Can anyone help with phrasing questions that will help us get an idea of how an AP will be to live with (rather than confirm previous employment and is she ok with children type questions).
We have the luxury of 2 former AP employers from english speaking countries to talk to (AP has got written references from them which are glowing but I want to speak to them directly).

I'm thinking of

1. Did AP help out as part of the family eg. empty the bin if she filled it.
2. Did AP eat a balanced diet or have any special dietary requirements.
3. Was AP thoughtful in her use of the house/car (eg. leave shared rooms/car tidy, not play music too loud).

Her former employers will probably email her and tell her I'm a fussy nutter but this AP wants to stay for a year and given the current situation we are in I want to be more thorough this time!

(And to anyone who followed my last AP thread, yes, I have already warned the next one that my house is 20 degrees )

Hi Millarkie - I think your questions sound like a good start.

I would probably also ask something about how she spent her free time, how much she was around at weekends and in evenings, if she tended to eat with the family when she wasn't "on duty", if she was generally good about being home at a reasonable hour on worknights - that sort of thing. My personal pet peeve is au pairs who expect to eat with you but don't contribute to helping with preparing the meal or cleaning up afterwards, so that's something I always look out for.

Might also ask a more open question along the lines of "was there any aspect of X's behaviour when she was living with you that caused you concern or created problems or issues with your family? If so, were you able to resolve this?"

Finally - how have you managed to find this paragon? I still am having no luck at all finding someone for early April - any of the desirable ones seem to show a lot of interest and then all of a sudden vanish or inform me they've found another family. Am thinking of trying to go through an agency, but the one recommended to me is asking north of £300 - just seems crazy considering I will still have to vet and interview the candidates myself.

Thanks Mizzen - that's the kind of thing that I meant - will use your questions.

I found her on AP world - searched for people who wanted to specifically come to Cambs. This AP doesn't start til July (so I had the flood of applications for the 'summer' season APs to deal with). We are sticking with the high maintenance but tolerable AP til then.
And there are drawbacks to July's AP - she is a student at one of the Uni's in Cam. So from Sept we will have to hope that the AP after-school childcare hours don't clash with her Uni hours. When she applied she said she would only need to go to Uni 1 day a week, and work from home the rest of the time...recent email mentions 3 days a week at Uni..but if if does work out then she is here for the whole year and can do holiday childcare for us too. If it doesn't work out then we have at least got an experienced person to help out over the long holidays.
She is the first potential AP who emailed me a list of 10 questions about our lifestyle/philosophies etc and asked me to provide references from last AP/former nanny! But I have passed her screening tests and she has agreed to come in July. I just need to check her references and hope she doesn't back out!
We are quite easy-going, don't mind APs who lurk in their room all evening, don't mind APs who sit and watch tv with us, do mind APs who sit and watch us watching tv

hello!!!

Just thought Id suggest a couple of websites incase u hadnt checked them yet, Im afraidI cant remember if they areall .com or .co.uk but if u google it it should come up!!

greataupair

greatcare.co.uk

nannyjob.co.uk

gumtree is always worth looking at!!

only a few but hope it helps a little!!!

MizZan's got good questions Millarkie.
I'd probably also ask about illness/days of sick. Whether she had inititative or needed direction.

initiative

Thanks Ingles - love your valentine's name!!

Thank you

manners (please and thank you being a peeve of mine)

Cleanliness (how often did they shower and change bed linen etc)

Contribution as part of a family

Thanks PMJB