Does age matter?

[maqrollelgaviero]

Hi,

I've posted on here a couple of times and had excellent advice but was wondering what peoples thoughts were on the age of the APs you have?

I thought I'd found someone great, an Australian girl, and offered her the mothers help /ap+ 'job', she said could she have a couple of days to consider it. All fine so far, very wise to consider all options and make sure you make the right choice. This was a week ago and she has emailed me a couple of times in a 'touching base' sort of way but still hasn't said yay or nay and to be honest although it's not imminent as I don't need her til August I'm now talking myself out of 'wanting' her, one of the reasons being she's only 19. Am I now being a bit strange in thinking that au pairs of 21yrs and older will automatically better, easier to live with, more responsible?

In a way I do know I'm being a bit insane as it obviously depends on the person but I'd like to know what others experiences are / have been as I'm a first time ap host.

Thanks.

Mine's 27 and she is great. I definitely think maturity's a good thing.
However she's going to leave early because she's just met the love of her life - in fact I think she may be pregnant. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if she was 19.

Maq im 19 and im a fulltime 40hour week nanny to 3 children.(b1,b3,g5) It just depends on the person and how mature they are..And a nanny is more demanding than an aupair..So just give her a chance we all have to start somewhere.

Age is a number. I would be more focused on her maturity. My 16yo brother is fab with kids, my older sister I wouldn't trust with a goldfish. My ickle bro is infinitely more mature!

Try asking yourself/her some questions:
Has she worked with children before, does she have any idea what she's letting herself in for?
What does she want out of the experience?
Will she be able to stick at it? Some 19yos are quite flighty, others are fine. Some 40yos are quite flighty too.
Does she seem like she's going to need a lot of motherings? Are you prepared to do that? Would you rather mother her or trust her not to go out until 4am? Bear in mind that older APs are likely to not want the interference even if they need it.

21+ APs are likely to have been to uni or working for a few years, so they have experience at sticking with something, have probably lived away from home and been responsible for themselves.

Personally I would look at personality traits and experience rather than just fixating on the fact that she's 19.

SN19 - are you qualified though? I think that probably makes a big difference between someone who's just finished school and is looking to travel for a year (which maq's potential AP might not be doing, but equally she may) and someone who's done a qualification and is looking to make a career out of it (which I'm assuming you're doing, but may be wrong!)

she might be waiting whether she gets another job which she prefers slightly to yours but is not getting an answet there.

Hi,

Interesting input, thanks. Perhaps my lovely but ex headteacher now ofsted inspector mother has put me on edge a bit with her first question of 'how old is she?' when I phoned all enthusiastic about having found someone so great - she is level 3 childcare qualified (whatever that is) is police checked, has a certificate of good health, currently works 3 days pw in a nursery and 2 days as a nanny to boys the same ages as mine. I don't really want another child, I'm thinking more younger sister-esque place in the family (for me not kids!) as DHs youngest brother is only 21 so we do have some experience of inconsiderate noise etc late at night when he visits!

I'm obviously trying to make myself feel better if she turns me down!

On that note, how soon can as ask if she's made a decision without sounding pushy? Thing is I do have a back up prospect and don't want to loose her either.

Also, my kids are 2 (or he will be on thurs) and 4 by the time she comes. Duties would include taking to school/nursery at 8.50am solo as I leave at about 8.20am and picking up at 3.30pm for me to be back at 4-4.30pm so I'm deliberately only looking at girls with childcare experience.

Based on that profile I'd say she'd be fine! She's on the same level as a 19yo professional british nanny with the same experience - the only difference being that she's going to be on the other side of the world.

Give her a go!

Re: finding out - tell her you have someone else you're very interested in, your first preference is her, you understand that she wants to be sure but you do need to know.

Wow, Kathy that must be making life interesting!

Catepilarr, that's probably it, tbf we're not in London or anywhere particularly desirable.

Frannikin, what an excellent way of putting it, email on my to do list for tomorrow!

Thanks all.

Agree with Jura, age not really relevant until you try to add them to the car insurance (ouch!).

One check I always make now is whether the AP grew up in a 2-career household. I think that makes a world of difference in their attitudes and their expectations of what they are walking into.

depends on the person

at 18 i was a sole charge nanny to a 4mth baby and 5yr 55hrs a week

but i wouldnt trust my friends 19yr to look after my charges

I'm probably projecting as I certainly wouldn't have allowed my 18 yr old self to mind a 2 and 4 yr old for any length of time.

As you all say, if someone has chosen childcare as a career and has firsthand experience then they do at least know what they're letting themselves in for.

Off now to send a polite email to see if she's accepting.

Thanks all