Night nannies/ post natal doulas

[lobsters]

I've an 18 day old baby, and DH went back to work yesterday. She's a good baby, but I'm still finding it all very new and scary, I can just about cope with Dh being at work, however we've just found out he has to go away for a night with work next week and I'm terrified at the thought of being in sole charge of her for 36 hours.

I've no family locally so am considering whether to use a night nanny or a post natal doula for the evening, just to give me a break so I can eat and switch off just for an hour or so.

Can you hire people for the odd evening or does there need to be a regualr contract? How do I find someone good? I've looked at some agencies on line, but they seem to be London based and I need someone in Berkshire. If it went well I would seriously considering using them again when DH goes away again, which is likely.

Or am I just being a big girls blouse and is 36 hours with a 3 1/2 week old baby not as scary as it sounds?

Could you save cash and just ask a friend to come over for the evening or even to stay the night - most people would LOVE to be asked to come and cuddle a newborn for a few hours!

Hi Lobsters

I am both a post natal doula and a night nanny.

As a night nanny, I usually work for 10 hours and as a post natal doula, I generally work a minimum of 3 hours.

I have had clients that have booked in a set amount of hours on set days for a set number of weeks but I have also had clients that keep it completely ad hoc.

I try to work with what is best for the parents.

I am in St Albans - where are you based?

I am a night nanny in east midlands and think that alot of mums find it scary when their husband goes away for the night when they have recently had a new baby.

I recently did a one off night for a mum whose husband works away 2wks at a time and she just wanted a nights sleep and by expressing for 2 feeds (she had frozen one feed and defrosted it for when i was there) she managed to sleep from 9.15pm til 5.30am and was so happy and then went for a bath whilst i comforted the baby for half an hr as he wasnt really due a feed.

I generally do 9pm-7am for a night nanny job and I charge £12 an hr which is pretty average rates. I am a qualified childrens nurse and have a range of childcare experience and qualifications.

forgot to add everyone is different and if you feel you can afford and need a night nanny then have one many will do odd nights so maybe have one for one of the nights.

If you have enough sleep you will feel better able to manage the days on your own.

congrats on baby

i am a night nanny and in kent, so no where near you (sorry

yes you can hire for the evening, i gen do 10hrs 9-7, 8-6 etc

def not being a big girls blouse

but agree would be cheaper to have a friend over for a takeaway etc

You might also find a childminder who would do babysitting in your home while you relaxed, which might work out more affordable and also prove useful if you ever decide to go out to work - you'll already know of a good childminder.

I found an article on Kellymom once but can't find it again, but it was about coping when husbands are away and had lots of tips like make good big meals beforehand and freeze some, so you can defrost and eat healthy food and not have to worry about cooking. Also you'll be able to take as many naps as baby takes as the house won't have to be perfect if no one else is going to see it!

Hope it goes well whatever you decide to do, and I'm sure you'll be fine! Just try to relax as much as possible and see it as bonding time, and don't try to do too much.

I do what PaulaMummyKnowsBest does - or did until I started my new post and was going to use her for childcare once! lol

The best night nanny you could hire will inspire you to feel that in future you can cope alone for longer if in the same situation again and won't take over for you. It's easy to find someone to do it for you for the day and night but harder to find someone as described above.

Lots of us dread being alone for the first time with a baby, and I say that as an experienced maternity nurse/nanny, mother and sleep coach!

personally i think you should just get used to it, sorry, but that is my honest opinion. You can't possibly be considering hiring help every time your dh goes away? i'm sure you could find someone to do it but it seems a bit much tbh....

Having a babysitter may be sufficient, to give you time to have a long bath, eat a good meal, put your feet up and doze. Having someone for say 4 or so hours in the evening will also be a lot cheaper than having someone all night.

Where in Berkshire are you?

I got a night nanny to come in when DS was that little and DH had to go away. Of course now after a full night's sleep it's easy to say that you should be able to cope, but at the time I remember feeling really nervous and tearful about it, so I totally understand.
Was the BEST money I ever spent. I expressed, got the best nigt's sleep I'd had for ages and she even gave me helpful tips on bathing, settling etc that I still use.
I ended up using her about 5 times - I love her and would recommend her in a second, but she's in London- sorry.

Ok, so looking at your other posts... you are in Caversham area. Welcome to Mumsnet and congratulations on the birth of your DD (darling daughter) BTW (by the way)

Chiltern College is in Caversham. It is a Childcare training centre. They may have students there who have newborn baby experience who may be able to babysit for you. It could be worth giving the college a call to ask if they have a jobs board or something.

I'm in Berkshire/Surrey border area, so alas Caversham is too far for me these days... I prefer working locally. Not sure about other Maternity Nannies in the area... I know someone in Langley who may cover Caversham, but she's usually fully booked for several months in advance - could be worth asking though, see her website.

Thank you ever so much for all your help, esp nannynick. I used to work on the Berks/ Surrey border and its a nasty drive up to Caversham, don't blame you at all for working locally!

I like the Chiltern College idea, we already have DD's name down for their nursery, so I might well give them a ring. There's a small chance my dad will come down so I'll see what he can do. I like the friend idea, unfortunately all my friends live in London, where I used to live and worked until December. The people I know near here are my NCT friends, so they've all got small babies to look after of their own. But will bear it in mind, I've a friend with lots of gardening leave to fill soon!

Just following the thread here.

Can anyone recommend a good maternity nurse in London to help me out for a couple of weeks. Have 2 children already and number 3 imminent. Both boys are sick and not sleeping much so would like a bit of help when number 3 arrives to get me back on track sleepwise. I need a nurse who is a little more flexible than most and is willing to help with school runs too.

Nick - Lisa is now in Northampton i think (when she isn't in Tenerife!)

Hapsa - where in London are you?

Hapsa, My mat nurse wouldn't be of use to you, but I found Top Notch Nannies (agency) to be v helpful in matching me with someone good.

Thanks for tip re 'Top Notch nannies' will contact them today.

Paulamummyknowsbest - I live in Islington and need someone for two weeks from the first week of March. Night and day.

babybaby123 - thats a bit mean

lobster is a new mum, and yes it can be a bit scarey first night alone etc, esp with a nb baby and she wants a bit of company

you could try your local nanny agency or look at netmums ads or put one yourself, they often have ads from nannies who night nanny or babysit

Hello!
My name is Diana and I'm an educational psychologist! I have lot of experience with babys and I would love to be your nanny "on the call"
If you want to interview me please send an e mail to [email protected]

Hi Lobster
I am a Mum of 2 school aged children and used to be a qualified nurse. I gave up work 3 years ago to be around more for my children. I know what you mean as my husband went back to shift work when my son was about 2 weeks old, and I found the evenings quite daunting. I don't know if I can help but I am looking for some part time work and I live in Caversham! If you think I could help you, please let me know!

You can definately get night nannies as a one off and well worth it IMO if you need some help. I wouldn't pay £12 a hour though, the going rate in N London is about about £80 for 10 hours, and you can get someone excellent for that money.

i dont know nay night nannies who charge £8ph
what are you going to do loster?

hows your ickle baby? nearly 3weeks old now

No, my expereience of night nannies was more in the £10-$11 bracket and that was over a year ago. Was in London. Plus don't forget agency fees.

Hapsa, I'm a maternity nurse available from March 4th for two weeks. I'm need to update my first aid so would be unavailable the 7th and 14th of March. Let me know if I can be of any help. Email: nz us uk @ hotmail.com

After all your help and planning, there was a complete change of plan. On Thurs 29 DD was taken ill, went to hospital by ambulance. She is now a lot better and getting back to her old self and fingers crossed should be discharged tomorrow. Don't think DH wants to go anywhere for a while now. I'm just home while he's with her in the hosp at the moment

aww lobster((HUGS))

how scarey for you

glad dd is on the mend now - what was wrong with her?