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Nearly 6 yr old: should I be able to expect better behaviour?

19 replies

Numberfour · 22/01/2009 13:12

I have had John, let's call him, as a mindee for nearly 18 months. He is a bright, funny, likeable and lovable boy, but he has some habits that concern me.

Firstly he dribbles a lot, to the point where the front of his top is often wet.

Secondly, he lacks table manners and makes a dreadful mess when he eats. The food lands on the floor, the table, under his bowl or plate. He uses his hands almost always. If he has a fork in one hand, the other hand will be fiddling with his food. He stuffs huge fork or spoonfuls in his mouth.

Thirdly, he wees "at" the loo rather than in it. He seems to kind of aim in the general direction and lets rip.

Finally, and this one I think is most common, he has to be asked 4 or 5 times to do something before it gets done.

Perhaps my experience is lacking.... should I expect the above? I really don't want to raise the issue with mum atm because she is going through enough other stuff.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
littlestarschildminding · 22/01/2009 13:19

Apart from the dribbling he sounds just like my own 7 yr old LOL

Although he can do it all properly...he just chooses not to!!

Sorry that is really rubbish advice!

If you are genuinely concerned you should speak to his mum.

LS

Seeline · 22/01/2009 13:22

Littlestars - I was just going to say the same thing!! The dribbling may be something to worry about, but the rest sounds like a normal boy to me.

Numberfour · 22/01/2009 13:29

LOL! that is exactly the kind of advice i needed - whether to expect this or not, so thanks,, Littlestars and Seeline!

My perfect son () is 4 and a bit and eats better and wees better - or less messily - so i wondered if i was being too harsh and expecting tooo much.

I think that a calm, quiet word with the boy may help. He is really a lovely kid, but gggrrrrr at the table manners and toilet mess!

thanks again!

OP posts:
Illhavethisinsize12 · 22/01/2009 14:34

go on making it better for boys course or get the book. its a real eye opener (i only wish i had had it for my now 18 year old!!)

piratecat · 22/01/2009 14:37

um, how old is your mindee?

nickschick · 22/01/2009 14:37

I think as a childminder you should really be confident in your own expertise and perhaps not be so judgemental with children not as perfect as your own.

piratecat · 22/01/2009 14:38

lol, just ignore me.

i didn't read it properly.

NewApprehensiveBeginning · 22/01/2009 14:38

Perhaps you can suggest he sits on the loo to wee?

MmeLindt · 22/01/2009 14:41

It sounds like he is a bit messy but if his mother is going through a difficult time then perhaps that is affecting him as well.

Get him to sit down when weeing or paint a target on the bowl of the loo that he has to hit.

PrincessButtercup · 22/01/2009 14:43

Yes, sounds just like my nearly 6 year old (apart from the dribbling and my boy's table manners are better since being at v strict school).

A friend of mine had a very dribbly 4 year old. Think it was something to do with his adenoids or tonsils (can't remember which). All cleared up since offending whatevers removed!

nomoreamover · 22/01/2009 14:59

just to back up everyone else - the only thing to concern me there is the dribbling - everything else sounds like typical 6 year old.............

Tas1 · 22/01/2009 20:06

I look after a 6 yr old that used to do the same.

Dribbling = Once he had his adinoids out this stopped.

Weeing = I bought the blue balls with faces on that float in the toilet bowl, he loves aiming at them.

Eating = Went back over how to hold knife and fork. Sat with him while he ate. made a sticker chart, he got a sticker if he ate his meal without using his fingers etc.

Asking more than once = If I wanted to ask him things, I would make sure I had eye contact with him. Praise him when he does things on the first time of asking.

It all took a few weeks to come right, but I kept going, he's a different child now.

HTH

thebody · 22/01/2009 23:55

sounds a lot like my dss. 17 and 20..... what is it with men amd loos, you think the amount of time they spend thinking about and handling their equipment they should have aquired greater aiming skills.

With you on the dribbling though, yeuk...

soapbox · 23/01/2009 00:14

It sounds like to me (not an expert) that he may be dyspraxic. The dribbling and messy eating is very typical of oral dyspraxia and the other things of general dyspraxia.

If you google it you can look at the symptoms and see whether they sound familiar.

Numberfour · 23/01/2009 06:06

Thanks for all the constructive criticism, everyone.

I will certainly look at that book, Size12, and and thanks for the practical tips, Tas1.

LOL! thebody. Yes, I have 3 fiddlers in the house: DH, my PERFECT () DS and John!

Don't know much about dyspraxia so I will have a look at that too, soapbox.

And of course, yes, it is so important to bear in mind what is going on at home.

Thanks!

OP posts:
schprooz · 23/01/2009 07:14

Another idea someone told me is to put a bowl of cheerios or something near the loo - everytime they go for a pee they lob a couple in and have to aim for them. Then they just flush away. Obviously only works if child understands not to eat the cheerios or throw them all over the place!

nickschick · 23/01/2009 08:31

Its also a sign of poor eyesight, immature extended hand/eye co-ordination and clumsiness,also his ears could be blocked if he has some ENT issues that could account for the dribbling and not listening? is his speech ok?

Having said that he could just be a 'young' 6 does he have older sibs?

Just a thought -how does he go upstairs? 1 foot to a step or 2? and how does he come down?

Does he have a snotty nose,wheezy chest etc??

Lilybeto · 23/01/2009 10:04

In reply to nickschick, just wondering why you have asked the above questions about the stairs etc? what would that show?

nickschick · 23/01/2009 10:44

Well a child that is a little unsteady with under developed (bad word) co ordination skills finds stairs a little difficult of course in saying this you have to take into account the fact the child may have fallen at some point and be apprehensive about stairs etc he my also have bad ears (balance)or poor eyesight but as a child develops- his co-ordination and balance improves and as he generally matures stairs become easier to climb.

Its by no means diagnostic just one of lots of things that can help you decide if co-ordination etc is a 'problem',its also helpful if you are thinking of buying a child a bike bcos the climbing stairs move is similar to a pedal and generally children that struggle to balance and pedal ofen climb the stirs 2 feet to a step.

Im not a doctor im a nursery nurse of bjesus 17 yers with 3 ds of my own.

If you are concerned about your dc or ny other child really the h.v is the best person to advise.

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