boo hoo, why doesn't anyone want to be my au pair?

[iheartdusty]

just posted to moan, really. I know it's the usual experience - loads of initially interested applicants, a handful of good contenders who go to third and fourth emails...then nothing.

and several applications from people who are so far off my specifications they probably meant to apply to college instead.

maybe it's worth paying the extortionate agency fees after all.

ah well, back to the website.

We'll find you one on here!

Can you give us some details of the job - perhaps we can help you market yourself

thanks for the support

details are;
children are aged 6 and 8
live-in (of course), private bedroom & en suite bathroom
Hours are 30 p/w: pre-school 7-9 and after-school care 3-7, and cook family evening meal for all of us.
we have a cleaner.
we live on the Sussex coast
offering £80-90 p/w (but would negotiate for best candidates)
must be experienced driver

I don't know whether something is putting them off. They get all that info above in the initial profile and my first email, so it's not a revelation.

Are you near Brighton?

yes, we're in Hove

It does sound like a good job. They should love the ensuite and the cleaner. The hours seem reasonable too.

Have you found out about public transport links to Brighton and London, language schools, general stuff to do in the area?

yes, all of that is in my first email. I have put in a few links about local amenities, language schools etc.

Is there a shortage of APs around? luckily we don't need someone until mid-March, but I can't book any work until I'm sure I have childcare, and the offers of work (for me) are coming in now.

some ads for APs you see are shocking - there's one on gumtree in Brighton for £45 per week.

actually she is offering £40 per week.

dusty, aupairs tend to prefer big cities. So proximity to Brighton definitely worth mentioning, as are transport links to London. I hear Brighton is popular with aupairs.

Now is a bad time to look for aupairs. Main recruiting seasons are July/Aug/Sept (for gap year aupairs) and May/June/July (for summer aupairs). Don't want you to think that there is necessarily something wrong with your family. Just keep plugging away.

Apart from the location which you can big up more, your conditions sound attractive.

thanks, that's reassuring to know. I'll keep at it

I'm going to show that other ad at £40 p/w to my current AP, might encourage her to think she is onto a good thing (she can't stay longer, and TBH she has not been great for us).

Dusty, you've probably already done it but my family profile reads like an advert. Really advertise all the positive bits for instance, large double room overlooking garden, (Apparently AP's are always worried about being stuck in a cellar!!) TV with full sky package, DVD, on suite bathroom, friendly family, help with homework etc, close to Brighton with its restaurants and bars plus beaches etc. We also outline their hours and emphasis weekends off. If you send me you email (I don't know how to do the CAT thingy) I'll send you a copy of our AP profile and last time round we got 350 applicants (although we are in London but we pay less for more hours!!)

A little bit of humour and also what your expectations of the children towards the AP help - seems to let them know what kind of household they are entering into.

A little bit of humour and also what your expectations of the children towards the AP help - seems to let them know what kind of household they are entering into.

Which website are you using? I always use aupairworld and have had to restrict my search from "any EU country" to German and Polish girls, because I have been inundated with interest. 30 hours/week is au pair plus; APs work up to 25 hours/week. IMO cooking whole family meals every evening might be putting a fair swathe of prospective candidates off. Could you get take-aways one night and/or make something at the weekend so she just has to heat it up another night? Then it becomes more like "occasional cooking for the whole family would be nice", which is what we have. We pay £80 pw for 25 hours/week. Good luck!

dusty, I would agree with cheapskate to play down the cooking of family meals. I have 2 very good aupairs and neither of them can cook. It is quite are a 18-20 year old to have those skills.

Same with the experienced driver. Most of them from continental Europe will be used to lefthand drive, if they can drive at all. How much driving is involved and can you cope without a driver (eg buses). Will her social life be hampered if she cannot drive?

I am having exactly the same problem-and I don't need one to cook for us.She may have to cook for herself.i do think they prefer London but I would have thought Brighton would be great for APs.

thanks everyone. I am using aupairworld, and having a look at gumtree/ easyau pair (though I haven't registered with them).

tbh we do need the cooking during the week- not at weekends at all - so maybe that isn't coming across, that weekends are totally free. I have said 'AP plus', and spelled out the hours/duties. Driving is essential for going to school - if it was me I would walk with the DCs but I don't think I can expect an au pair to deal with the sheer FUSS and whinging that would ensue from walking to and from school every day - it's a 1.5 mile trip each way.

I am getting a lot of initial interest, so there are candidates out there, and I am getting second and third responses, but it's after that stage that the tumbleweed begins...

I know I am being choosy, because I am looking for older candidates (over 20) and the cooking/driving requirements are quite a demand. I realise that. Nannynick made a very good point on another thread, when he said that the abolition of the AP scheme makes it more like an ordinary job. The trouble is that there still seems to be a gap between an 'au pair' role and a 'nanny' role. People expect different things from each. I don't think 'mother's help' really covers the gap. My view is that what I am offering would appeal to a person who wants to improve their English or just see another country, and not have the hassle of living independently; but I need someone who can, at least 3 times a week, be in sole charge for the whole day (other than school). It is a stepping-stone, and not necessarily a career choice in its own right. Tricky business, though....

Or maybe it's the photos of us that are putting them off

On the walking, how long does it take to walk 1.5m?

My dd's school run is a 25 min brisk walk with hills each way which adds up to 50 mins on the trot. She only does it once a day though, because I do the drop-off.

When I asked on mn whether it was reasonable for me to expect my aupair to walk such a long distance, responses were split down the middle.

What you have to do is make it very clear before you make your offer that she is required to do this. You will find that many aupairs do not mind, especially the sporty Scandanavian ones. Heck, both my aupairs lost weight on the job (I do feed them). It is, for the right girl with the right outlook, being paid to exercise essentially. Not a bad thing.

I would rather give them the option to walk or drive, than limit your role to drivers.

thanks blueshoes, that's a good idea.

may have to provide a whip incentive scheme to get the DCs enthused!

god yes, I forgot. My dcs still go in a buggy. Scooters for all can be a lot of fun!

Will save you a small fortune on your car insurance as well ...

Have you tried greataupair.com?

yes, Athene, I tried it last time round and hated the site.

It also seemed quite US-oriented.

What's your view of the no-mans-land between an au pair at £60-£80 pw and a newly qualified nanny hoping for £200 net p/w?

I think that jump is okay when you consider the hours are also doubled.