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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

I am a CM who loves my job but would be very unsure about using a CM to care for my children

33 replies

happymindees · 18/01/2009 22:11

I have been childminding for a few years and love it, the children I mind are well cared for and I am very attached to them.

However I do not think I would use a childminder if I returned to work (or for any other reason) for my pre-school age child although I would feel happier with considering this for my older DC.

My reasons are that I know I do my best for the DC in my care to keep them safe and happy but how could I be sure that someone else would do this. I know that my DH loves children is very good with them but what if there were people living in another childminder's house that were not? OR what if the CM allowed the children to come into contact with undesirable people?

I would almost certainly use a nursery.

I feel guilty for feeling like this as parent's trust me (rightly so) but I feel very wary of other CM's.

What do you think?

OP posts:

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Original poster

happymindees · 18/01/2009 22:14

BTW - I have mentioned this to a few friends and they seemed shocked that I would feel like this.{shock]

OP posts:

Littlefish · 18/01/2009 22:18

To be honest, I think it's quite an odd thing to be thinking. Are you in contact with other childminders? What do you think of them? Do you ever leave your dc with babysitters?

Ebb · 18/01/2009 22:19

LOL! I completely understand. I'm a nanny with 8mth old Ds and I really wouldn't want to leave him with anyone. I'm a great nanny, I know lots of great nannies but what if they don't like my son? I couldn't bear the thought of someone not caring for him like I do. I obviously need to get out more and get over the 'pfb'ness of it but oh well!!!

ramonaquimby · 18/01/2009 22:19

odd first post

chloejessmeg · 18/01/2009 22:20

I felt like this about nurseries when I worked it one, and it did make me feel bad. I worked in one particular nursery for 3 years, but no way would I ever put my own DC there.

I think though with CM - you can get to know them etc first so you build up trust etc with them and get to know what they are like. So you would know (as much as anybody can know about any childcarer) if they are going to be good with your DC iyswim? Sorry not making much sence, but I know with me, from talking to other CM at toddler groups etc which ones I would want to interview etc if it was me looking for Childcare. You get to know their nature and the way they are with their mindees and own DC.

glastocat · 18/01/2009 22:23

How peculiar.

I have had two wonderful childminders over the years. We were very sorry to leave the first one, but we moved away. We still exchange Xmas cards, even though we haven't seen her for five years. My current childminder an older lady with no children of her own. She is a total treasure who just adores my boy. When I was checking her references her previous employer was in tears because she had worked for her for 12 years and her kids adored her. She has been with us for over three years now, and hopefully a lot longer! J also went to nursery for six months or so before he started school. It was fine, but I prefer home care for smallies. Anyway, surely most people research their childcare options and find the one they are most comfortable with?

Original poster

happymindees · 18/01/2009 22:25

What is odd about my post? I am being honest and want to see if anyone else feels like this.

I know a couple of other childminders, one well enough to say I would NOT use her because of her practise and the other I do not know her well but I have not taken to her.

OP posts:

Original poster

happymindees · 18/01/2009 22:29

I probably do need to get to know other childminders and prehaps that would reassure me?

OP posts:

glastocat · 18/01/2009 22:32

Yes, but of course there will be minders you wouldn't use - thats why you interview people so you can find someone that will suit. We checked out loads, some were Ok, a couple absolutely not suitable at all, but we eventually found people that suited just fine. Actually maybe we were lucky as our childminder was also interviewing is - she had lots of people wanting to hire her but chose us. Obviously because my kid is so fantastic.

glastocat · 18/01/2009 22:33

interviewing us

tankie · 18/01/2009 22:38

I guess it's the same with any childcare - it's a leap of faith to an extent!

Like chloejessmeg I have worked in private nurseries and thought I would never leave a child of my own there! Then again I have worked in a lovely children's centre that I would happily hand a baby over to. I have also met childminders at toddler groups, some who I thought were excellent and some who I wouldn't want caring for a child of mine - I guess the same could be said for nannies, though personally I've not come across a bad one yet.

chloejessmeg · 18/01/2009 23:13

glastocat - just wanted to say, you don't hire a CM, they are self employed and you would be a customer/using their service. They are not your emplyee and that would be why they also interview you. Sorry, don't want that to sound rude, just wanted to point it out as it seems to be a common misconception.

I often talk to CMs at toddler groups and think "she sounds like somebody I would trust with my DC" because they have similar ideas to me and seem to really care. I also know a CM I definatly would not use (who is actually very related to me) and ones I have not clicked with but haven't done anything particular to make me dislike them.

I still, without a doubt, would choose a CM over a nursery for my DC if needed

Doozle · 18/01/2009 23:22

I don't think it's odd that you posted it. What it boils down to is that a CM works alone and isn't being observed by anyone else.

You are just raising concerns that a few CM's may not be as caring or diligent. A valid point imo.

Ripeberry · 18/01/2009 23:25

I'm the total opposite of you. I've gone into CM because my CM to my DD1 and DD2 was so wonderfull and they made them so happy and taught them so much.
You must know another CM that you would trust with your own DC?
Instinct is very important when choosing a childminder. If you feel at ease straight away and connect with the CM then it will be OK

Original poster

happymindees · 18/01/2009 23:49

Doozle - Thank you, that is my point.

Ripeberry - no I don't (know another CM I would trust with my DC - but I think that is because I don't know many)

OP posts:

crace · 19/01/2009 07:01

Nope, never use a nursery - as a c/m myself I know quite a few others that I have used in the past even and I know they are to be trusted. That's why you use references, meet them a few times, use your instinct, etc etc - I think it's very odd to feel that way.

Time to go out to childminding meetups.

NumberFour · 19/01/2009 07:11

I know lots of childminders and there are some I would leave my DS with (as I do now every Thursday when I am on course) and there are some I would not leave a dust bunny with.

I do understand what OP is saying, in a way.

Littlefish · 19/01/2009 08:00

I understand what the OP is saying, and if she were "just a parent" expressing this view, then I would think it was entirely normal. All parents have concerns about leaving their child with someone, be they CM or nursery. What I think is odd is that the OP is a CM herself and is therefore, casting doubt on the CM profession as a valid childcare alternative.

I think it would be really good if you could get to know some other childminders happymindees. There will be some you click with, who share the same ethos as you, and there will be some who have different ideas. Hopefully this will reassure you that you are not the only childminder able to care for children in a safe, stimulating, caring and professional manner.

I'm a parent who uses a wonderful childminder. However, we just didn't click with our first childminder and agreed to part ways and we eventually found our current childminder. The principle of young children being cared for in a home environment, however, is one which I wholeheartedly support.

Original poster

happymindees · 19/01/2009 08:01

I agree that I need to meet more CM's. However I do not think my feelings are odd - infact I think that to presume that a CM would leave her children with another CM is odd. Why would I? I know that I take the safety of my mindees very seriously but how can I be sure another unsupervised CM would? I think people who refer to this as odd find it so because they are cM's themselves and do not want parents who read this to realise they may feel this way or they are parents who use CM's and have a good relationship so are dismissive that it might not be this way for everyone.

Thanks for your feedback.

OP posts:

twentypence · 19/01/2009 08:03

I teach piano, flute and recorder in schools. Ds will always learn at a teachers house. What you do to earn money and what you feel happiest doing with your own children is allowed to be different.

MrsMattie · 19/01/2009 08:05

This is why I don't use a CM. And I'm not slating CMs. I have a few friends who absolutely love their CMs and have formed great, lasting relationships with them. I just don't know if I could do it, personally. I never felt comfortable about it.

HSMM · 19/01/2009 08:07

I am a CM and I would leave my DD with other CMs that I know well (and have done in the past), but there are a couple I would avoid .... but this is the same as when she is invited round to 'friends' houses - I go with my gut instinct on whether it is a safe place to go. There are good and bad CMs in the same way that there are good and bad nurseries.

crace · 19/01/2009 08:15

No, I don't feel that way at all. As the others have said there are good and bad c/ms and nurseries and both need to have you comfortable with them. I do find it odd that you wouldn't give a c/m the same chance, and just assume that nurseries are all good.

Littlefish · 19/01/2009 08:37

I'm not a childminder. I agree with crace. The same issues are there with nurseries too - some would suit you and some wouldn't. I just think that saying "I wouldn't leave my child with a childminder", when you have said that you don't know any, and it is your chosen profession is rather odd. The professional standards and training are there for a reason. You follow them, others will too.

Original poster

happymindees · 19/01/2009 09:36

Crace

I never said that. I do realise that there are good and bad CM and nurseries. I am a good CM and have had bad experiences in the past with a nursery. I am open to getting to know more CM and taking it from there. The reason I am more wary of a CM is because they work unsupervised and are not checked upon often enough (IMO) unless part of the network. At least at nursery there is more than one person taking care of the children. I am not having a go at CM as I said I am one. Everyone is different.

Littlefish

I said I know a couple but would'nt leave my child with them. I disagree that other all other CM's follow the standards set - I have seen that this is not always true with my own eyes.

OP posts:

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