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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Dogs and toddlers

36 replies

NoseyHelen · 14/01/2009 22:59

My CM has just acquired a Staffordshire Bull Terrier puppy (7 weeks). DH and I don't think this is a suitable environment for our 2 yr old so I now have to tell CM that we'll be pulling our daughter out by Easter (when dog may be getting big enough to be a problem). I'm absolutely gutted because we love our CM. Does anyone have any tips on how I can break this to CM without causing offence/upset?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

chloejessmeg · 14/01/2009 23:59

Did the CM not speak to you about this before she got the puppy? Surely she didn't just get it without saying anything?

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 15/01/2009 00:09

My CM has a dog and Tink loves her as well as two cats, before she was unsure about animals (loves them in a zoo or on TV mind) so I'm pleased that she has had the opportunity to get to know some real animals. We gave a dog to a CM and she is great with kids, she lets them pull her gels and all sorts. I think you might be being a bit to quick TBH.

henrys7thwife · 15/01/2009 00:58

Puppies who grow up around children are by nature much calmer, gentler, and more tolerant dogs. Staffies get a bad reputation in general anyway, they are quite loving friendly dogs. I too think you're jumping the gun a little early.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 15/01/2009 01:10

My jack russel grew up as a puppy with two cats and dd1 came along when the dig was about 3 months old.

Dd2 came when she was about four.

During the years she has endured having them trying to pull of her head/tail to see what would happen, sit on her and try to ride her like a horse, grab lumps of her hair and refuse to let go, take away her toys/snatch bones from her mouth, dress her in baby clothes and many many more things. Clearly they are not allowed to subject the dog to any of these things but I can't be watching them 24/7 no matter how hard I try. My dog has never snapped at them once. I can't even recall her ever growling or snarling at them.

She is extremely protective of both dd's as if they were her puppies. If dd2 is having a nap in her cot the dog won't move away from her bedroom door untill she is safely back downstairs with the family. When DH was playing a game with dd2 trying to hoover up her hair the dog attacked the hoover. She always alerts me if either of the dd's are in trouble i.e if they have tried to pull something off a wardrobe and have trapped themselves under whatever they have pulled off.

I'd stick with the CM and just request that the dog is not left alone with your dd. For the dogs sake as much as your dds.

Blondeshavemorefun · 15/01/2009 07:24

didnt think a cm could get a dog without consulting parents?

7weeks is too young to leave their mummy, 8weeks is the youngest they should leave ( I THINK) IF NOT NEARER 12 WEEKS

opps hit caps

Simply · 15/01/2009 07:45

Someone I know has just had to fetch a Golden Retriever from her ILs as it attacked their 2 year old child. The child will be okay but has nasty teeth marks on the face which will hopefully fade as did those of a child I know who was bitten around the mouth by a border collie when a toddler.

The GR had been jealous of the child's arrival and for the last 2 years and I guess something happened and it attacked. It's going to be rehomed somewhere there aren't children.

To the OP, if I were you, I'd find alternative childcare too.

sheena1 · 15/01/2009 10:22

I ahve a staffy and she is brilliant with kids my 2 are nearly 3 and 10 months and she has never been a problem with them she is 4 now x also i look after my friends kids and she has never posed to e a problem with them x

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS · 15/01/2009 10:24

I wouldn't like it so don't think you need to worry about upsetting her - she should have realised you might not like it.

We have a dog but a) I know her very, very well and trust her totally and b) I make sure the pair of them are never in a situation where anything bad could happen should she have a complete personality change for any reason.

SaltireOShanter · 15/01/2009 10:27

Is it the fact it a Staffie that's bothering you? Or the fact that it is a dog? If it was, say a poodle would you still be bothered

I had 2 Border Collies when Iwas a CM. its part of their registration agreement that the dogs will never be left in the same room unattended as the children.

I had policies in place. This included
A) The dogs slept under the stairs. There were stair gates on the living room and kitchen doors. That way I knew the dogs couldn't get in.
B) The garden was checked every morning
also the toddlers I ahd loved going out for walks with the dogs. However, my dogs were older, and not young puppies

MadMarg · 15/01/2009 10:27

Well I wouldn't want my DS to be around dogs constantly when I'm paying for his care. Some parents may not mind, but I honestly think the CM has reduced the number of families who would be happy to use her services.

Bonnycat · 15/01/2009 10:33

I would be finding alternative childcare too.I agree with MadMarg.

Original poster

NoseyHelen · 15/01/2009 10:36

I have no problem with dogs per se but this is a breed I don't trust. However, DH won't have it so I have to tell CM that my 2yr old won't be going.

The dog and children are supposed to be seperated but she has an 11 yr old son who I wouldn't trust to abide by that rule.

No, she didn't tell me until after the dog had arrived.

I very upset that we have to stop using this CM. My daughter loves her to pieces but my DH considers this non negotiable. I just don't know what to say to CM. DH says we have to view the situation as though we were looking afresh. We would never choose a CM with a Staffie.

OP posts:

flowerybeanbag · 15/01/2009 10:38

Why do you need to worry about causing offence/upset? Just tell her! If she has decided to get a dog as a CM without even mentioning it to parents she can't be surprised if there are repercussions, both in terms of current mindees and future ones.

Blondeshavemorefun · 15/01/2009 12:43

i can beleive that your cm just got a dog and hadnot mentioned/asked parents etc

sure your cm will understand that you want to leave

does she have other mindess, and what do they think?

popperdoodles · 15/01/2009 13:09

I completely understand why you would want to move your dd. She didn't have this dog when you placed your dd with her and now she does so you need to re-evaluate. I too think she should have warned you before getting the dog.

I am a cm and have a small dog. All the families I work with love her. She is a cavalier king charles and very soppy and friendly. All the mindees apart from one love her too. One mindee doesn't like dogs full stop but he only comes to me for half and hour before school so I simply shut the dog in the utility for that short time and everyone is happy. His parents are totally fine with this.

I have a full risk assessment for her and have written a comprehensive pets policy. All is working fine. Dog doesn't like being shut out of the room sometimes but that is just tough.

I appreciate the breed of dog though is important and wouldn't expect such a positive reaction to her if i had a rottweiler for example.

Original poster

NoseyHelen · 15/01/2009 14:40

I'm not sure what the other girl' parents think. I did look them, in the phone book so we could have a chat but they are not listed. I suspect they won't mind so much or though it wouldbe great if they did mind because this might make CM re-evaluate.

OP posts:

woodstock3 · 17/01/2009 21:32

we have a labrador and he and ds adore each other, spend a lot of time playing etc, and the dog brings a lot into his life. im not anti dog at all. BUT it was my choice to have a dog with a child. your CM didnt give you that choice and doesnt have the right to impose it on you. also what if one of her charges was allergic? i'd remove the child and not worry about upsetting her.

MollieO · 18/01/2009 12:35

My CM got a dog without asking us first. I wasn't overly happy as it was a big dog and her house was pretty small. The worst thing was the smell as they had difficulty bathing it. Dog was kept in the kitchen when mindees were there but still a worry as of course mindees liked dog and tried to put their hands through the stairgate on the kitchen door.

I took the view that it is up to the CM what she does re getting a dog and up to me if I stayed or left. Ultimately we left for other reasons (massive price hike when ds started school making me realise it was cheaper for me to cut my working hours than pay a 65% increase in hourly rate!) but I can't say that the dog wasn't a factor.

mysterymoniker · 18/01/2009 12:40

I'd trust a staffie around a child before I'd trust it around another dog - on the whole and with sensible precautions it's got to be good for children to spend time with animals?

mamadoc · 18/01/2009 14:43

My CM has a dog (boxer) which we actually viewed as a plus point as DD loves dogs and the lure of going to see him really helped her to settle there plus she enjoys walks with the dog. I did get assurances that the dog is never on his own with the children and I trust my CM that this is true. DD has also learnt how to behave with dogs (no poking, hitting etc) which I think is a good thing too.
On the other hand I don't think we would have been so relaxed when she was a baby and if you really feel that the dog is a dealbreaker and couldn't be reassured/ see any plus points in it then of course you should give notice and tell her why.

littlestarschildminding · 18/01/2009 15:23

I wouldn't leave my baby or toddler with any dog that I didn't know and trust.... (even a poodle)...ever! This would be a total deal breaker for me Im afraid.

Im a cm and know that when you have 5 or 6 children to care for you can't possibly watch all of the children with the dog every second of the day.

I think your cm will probably understand

naturalbornmum · 18/01/2009 15:56

There is no way on earth I would let my child be anywhere near this type of dog.
I am shocked that she did not discuss this with you before getting a pet.

thebody · 18/01/2009 23:54

I am with you on this one, maybe its my hang up but i am scared whitless of most dogs, especially big ones, and freeze whehever I see one loose even out with dh, he always has to reassure me. My ds was bitten as a toddler and still have nightmares about it 16 years on. if you are not happy, move your child. As a cm she should have discussed it with you anyway.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/01/2009 13:03

does a cm have to inform ofsted when they get a dog and does someone have to come round and check their cage/kennel etc?

gizmo · 19/01/2009 13:10

NoseyHelen

Quite understand you being upset with your CM - obviously you should have known about this before the puppy arrived, but just in response to this comment:

'I have no problem with dogs per se but this is a breed I don't trust. However, DH won't have it so I have to tell CM that my 2yr old won't be going.'

You do realise that Staffies were one of only two breeds the Kennel Club recommends for families with children? This is a good BBC report which sums up why they have now got such a bad (and undeserved) reputation.

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