Is this childminder being unprofessional, or are my expectations too high?

[notonyournelly]

Basically, a family I know, but who are not friends of mine, had been using a childminder for about a year. Their dc was the CM's only charge.

The childminder told the parents that due to a change in personal circumstances she would be stopping childmindin gin 6 months.

The parents immediately found themselves another childminder and gave their current childminder 4 weeks' notice, as per the contract.

The cm has started to talk badly about the parents, even during the notice period, saying that the parents had acted in an underhand way by finding a new cm immediately, and not advisising her that they would be looking before the 6 months was up. She has told various people details which I would consider to be confidential, and has passed comment on th parenting skills of the parents in question.

Basically the cm is upset as she could have worked for 4 more months, but now will not find another charge just for that short period. She is saying a good working relationship has been ruined by these parents, and has basically warned fellow childminders never to trust this family again (even though their dc is already with a new cm)

The way I see it is, regardless of how the family went about finding a new cm, they gave the appropriate notice period, I feel this cm is being very unprofessional in discussing their private family business with other local families- some of whom have children the same age as the dc in question, so could know the family and child.

I use a cm myself, and this has made me very nervous, as although I know I can trust her, I thought I would have trusted this cm in question IYSWIM? Is there not some professional code about privacy to adhere to? Or is it a case of when the parents stop using you, you can spill whatever details you like about them? It has made me feel very uncomfortable.

It sounds like, as ever, this unfortunate situation could have been avoided with better communication. Presumably this CM thought she was doing the right thing being open with the parents by filling them in on her future plans, so she would have expected them to do likewise and say - okay, thanks for the advance notice, but actually that means we need to find a new CM right now because of X, Y and Z reason. It's not that parents have to justify themselves to CMs, of course they can simply abide by the terms of the contract, but it is a very personal kind of business so it's best to be open. The way your friend acted was technically fine, but if I'd done it (I am a parent, not a CM) I would feel a bit underhand, unless for some reason I really didn't like the CM. Don't you feel that way? Wouldn't you have filled your CM in on your plans instead of leaving her high and dry? It is of course horrible and unprofessional how the CM has reacted, but sounds to me like she's upset. Perhaps she expected better having looked after their DC for a year. But I wouldn't feel nervous of CMs in general. Just treat them as you would want to be treated and fingers crossed you'll be fine.

Thanks for replying pinkdelight- as I said, neither party is my friend, but I seem to have been caught up in the fallout as I know a mutual friend- it's all very complicated.

I personally would have told the childminder of my intentions, but I now almost feel that is irrelevant, due to the cm's reaction. As I said, is it really okay to just disregard any confidentiality, just because she is upset?

I don't know, I'm glad my cm seems to be a private person!

It may be that the parents didn;t intend to move so soon but were faced with the prospect of either leaving it til the last minute3 and not finding anyone or having to pay a retainer for the whole 4 months.

I think the giving information out is a breach of confidentiality and I'm sure must be agaoinst some data protection legislation/ofsted confidentiality policy or something.

I am a CM and I wouldn't be at all surprised in this situation for the parents to try and find alternative care as soon as possible. They need to make sure their DC is being cared for. I (and my bank manager) would be upset at not having the extra time ... but ... hey ho ... that's the nature of the business. I certainly would not discuss any personal details with other people.

The CM'S RESPONSE WAS UNPROFESSIONAL, END OF

CM is out of line. (and not very bright if she didn't see this coming)

I am a new CM and a parent and I think the CM has been horrible and unprofessional. notice is notice and its up to the parents. Of course the CM has a duty of confidentiality to the parents.. vile

The childminder is being very unprofessional. The parents have done nothing wrong - infact I can undertsand wanting to find childcare asap. If the CM wanted to work for 6 months - she should of given a shorter notice period.

TBH I think most people would have looked for someone else straight away and the CM is being completely out of order.

Our CM also gave up minding but they gave the standard 4 week notice as per contract. Of course I would have liked more time to find another but if they had then I would have started looking straight away as would any sensible person.
Because i work in healthcare I am really hot on confidentiality. I am really uncomfortable even with conversations like 'oh we once had another little girl who used to do that' or 'Xs mum gives him sausages for lunch!' I would expect a CM only to discuss a child with the parents and noone else. Its always a temptation to gossip about your work especially if feeling hard done by but its just no excuse.

I think if I was finishing childminding (and will be in 4 years time when my youngest starts high school) I would give the parents enough time to find a cm that they think is suitable for their children and obviously if they have vacancies for 3 brothers at the same time.

If the parents feel they want to change cms then thats up to them as long as they work/pay the 4 weeks notice they signed their name to on the contract.

The cm should NOT have released details of the family or bad-mouthed them either. Has she not heard of confidentiality? This is why us cms sometimes get a bad name.

I think if I was finishing childminding (and will be in 4 years time when my youngest starts high school) I would give the parents enough time to find a cm that they think is suitable for their children and obviously if they have vacancies for 3 brothers at the same time.

If the parents feel they want to change cms then thats up to them as long as they work/pay the 4 weeks notice they signed their name to on the contract.

The cm should NOT have released details of the family or bad-mouthed them either. Has she not heard of confidentiality? This is why us cms sometimes get a bad name.

So she thought she was doing them a favour by giving them so much notice, and it probably feels like a slap in the face not to be wanted until the last possible minute and to have to manage with 4 months reduced/no income. But it was incredibly naiive not to realise that parents might HAVE to jump ship to avoid being left without a carer later on. And very unprofessional not to deal with her disappointment discreetly.

Most of us consider confidentiality of vital importance and choose our words very carefully! Don't let this one persons actions spoil your relationship with your cm.