torn between two nannies!

[purplebee]

We have two prospective nannies for our 16 month old DS, they are both 21 but one is extremely assertive, confident and seems unflappable and the other is a little sweetheart who is a kid at heart and lovely with my ds (assertive girl was sweet with him too, but he had to go to bed shortly after she arrived)

They both like us and want the job. The sweetheart seems to need more steering but as DH and I both work at home, this wouldn't be a huge problem.
The assertive girl wants to to all her own schedules, has already looked up other nannies in our area for playdates and, if I'm honest, scares me a little though I know she'd fight a rottweiller to protect her charge.

How do I choose?! I don't want to keep either of them hanging on and it's got to a point where I'm wondering if neither are right because my instinct isn't screaming for one or the other. Advice much appreciated!

I'd go with the sweet one tbh...

I'd go with the assertive one - she'll be much less bother as she'll manage her own time.

Assertive girl would be a good role model for your DS

But may get settled into job and cause problems for you??

Tough call but i would still go for assertive one..he will have lots of sensitive role models when he goes to school lol, then some assertive ones later on as he grows up. This would be an excellent start.. and what better for your child than :
Someone who will take them out and about, as you say you work from home this would be a godsend,
Someone who would fight a rottweiller to protect him, you need not worry about him whilst he is out with her..

Good luck choosing, it's going to be hard which ever one you have to turn down

If you are both working from home and need nanny to be in charge of your ds, I would go for the more assertive one. Lots of nannies do not like having the parents home a lot and I think the sweeter one may be more hesitant about her routine, outings, discipline etc if she feels you might be looking over her shoulder - which I'm sure you wouldn't be!

Could you ask them both round for a trial morning/afternoon and see how both you and Ds feel after that?

I as well would go with the assertive nanny. I feel girls who are sweet tend to be looking for a lot more direction than you might think. Hm, how much experience do they have respectively? And if you are working from home, which one do YOU get along with better? This is essential for any mum/dad/nanny team who will be within the same space. Good luck, let us know what you decide! x

Assertive one.

I agree with others that if assertive means organised and proactive, that's much better than a slightly "floppy" nanny who you are always having to give detailed instructions to and chivvy. (see recent threaad about trouble with aupairs).

How about spending a little more time with the assertive one as a decider? Sounds like you'd like to see her with your ds a little more, and also you could have a slightly less formal chat with her about how she'd spend her time and make sure you are confident you could have enough influence.

As a mum who's just completed my first full year of having a nanny (for ds now 4.6 and dd 21m), I'd say I've definitely become steadily less involved and "controlling" as time has gone on. At the start I wanted to know exactly what they'd been doing... now a vague idea is enough! My nanny is pretty organised, responsible and proactive, but also happy to tell me anything I ask and to do/change things I ask her to as well. It's a difficult transition, leaving your children with someone else, and having someone else using your home, but I'd say after a year I'm very pleased with my arrangement.

Good luck in your choice!

How are you feeling about being an employer? Lots of mums here seem to have issues with that. Can you imagine telling the assertive one that you need her to do something differently ie fewer playdates with nanny's mates, more painting at home? I think if that sort of thing makes you quiver now, you'll find it really difficult when she's established, and maybe the sweet one would suit you better.

assertive all the way, though can understand that you like the sweet one

but also truct your instinct and if neitherare calling you to offer job NOW then i would carry on looking

I would go sweet one all the way...

As a previous nanny employer. I like to be in control and to have some say in what my children are doing. I like the nanny to need advice from me rather than being given advice by the nanny. I like to have some input into where my children are going, what friends the nanny sees during the day.... I too worked from home and my nannies were always in charge but with some input from me. I couldn't have handled a nanny who was out here there and everywhere with god knows who all day....

But thats the kind of person I am and that is why I always chose, sweet, usually new, slightly 'wet' nannies who needed and wanted that input.

I guess what I am saying is that which one you chose needs to depend on what kind of person you are and what YOU want from your nanny.

Wow, this has all been very helpful. Both are really keen on the job (in fact I rejected assertive one at first because of the issues fridayschild raised, but she sort of won me back!) Trial day it is then! Thanks everyone.

What are you like as an employer? Would you rather hand hold or zip your lip?