What do you do when parents don't let you know?

[hellogoodbye]

Sorry, didn't know what to put the title as. I still don't know if I am minding tomorrow or not, as the Mum hasn't let me know. I know she must be busy, she is a single mum who works full time, has had family etc staying but I just want to know if my mindee is coming for the whole day tomorrow. My other mindees are all still on holiday, but the mum said she would probably need me tomorrow, unless the Dad could have her for the day. I have never had her for the whole day before, so would like to prepare and probably would have planned a nice day out if I had known a bit more in advance. I have tried phoning with no answer, text her yesterday and this morning and have sent 3 emails over the holidays. I know she checks her emails regually, so I would think she would have got at least one by now.

If she is coming here, I want to have a quick rush round tidying the house, think of some places to go for at least part of the day, think of some nice things to do etc. But I don't want to do all that if she isn't coming. Also little things like if she is coming first thing, I will have my shower etc tonight and not tomorrow morning etc. Sounds silly but it is bugging me not knowing.

What am I meant to do? She is lovely in all other ways but this isn't the first time it has happened.

This is mad. You must have advance notice of whether you are going to have a mindee. Ring her and ask.

As I said, I have been phoning but can't get through

No answerphone?

Then leave it and assume child is not coming. If she does, be very surprised and explain that you have nothing planned, house is a mess etc and could the mum please give you advance warning in future.

Sounds like you need to take charge of her and make her realise that this is a business arrangement, and not that you are her personal servant to be there at her beck and call.

I would carry on doing whatever you were planning to do tomorrow. And when (if) she turns up then you need to talk to her about this and make it clear that you need firm/clear information about when your services are needed.

You could also point out to her that if she doesn't let you know what her arrangements are then she shouldn't be surprised to find you out one day when she arrives!

Thing is, if she isn't coming then I won't be up at the time she usually arrives, and as my bedroom is at the back, I won't here the door. I am more worried about the fact I will have a crap day if it is sprug on me, as I won't be able to do anything that I have planned to do. And I can't afford to loose her as a mindee if I end up annoying her.

Stop behaving like a victim! You are the one in charge here - even if you don't feel like it. She is lucky to have you, not the other way round.

If you will have a crap day if she suddenly arrives then why not prepare things as if she is going to be there? Then if she doesn't, you can get on with whatever you want to do.

You will have to accept that some parents are just like this. I would get up at the time you need to if she does turn up and be organised.

If she doesn't come then bill her for it anyway. Make sure that you have her in for a chat and let her know that in future she must let you know or she will be charged anyway.

Have had this also and it's shit isn't it? Some parents don't give a shit sadly and we just have to suck it up. If she does it a lot replace her!!

I only had one child to mind on Friday. I was up at 7:00. Put the heating on in the play room. Got some activities out. etc. At 11:30 I had a call to say he was not coming! I just made the most of the morning. No point in complaining, because he is only on a 6 day contract for the holidays, so .... But it does happen sometimes and can really mess the day up for me and the other children.

Correct me if I am wrong but as childminders we dont want to be taken as people workin to get quick money. I have one full time mindee and all of a sudden the mum stopped giving me her hours ie weekly in advance giving excuses that her manager is not doing the rota on time. Fair and fine just before xmas she called on Mon mornin to say she is on her way with mindee and I said sorry am not home(I was home and having a cup of tea) since you had not given me yo hours. I said to her politely that I hav a life besides minding. she was not happy as she had to cancel work that day . From that time she gives me her hours in advance.

i can see your concern about standing your ground after being flexable, we're always then thought to being awkward instead of being generous on those other occasions!...i had no hours given at all for a mindee, all over christmas, no contact, they all went back to school this morning, so bang on the dot we leave..i get back to gate left wide open ...shortly after a text asking why i wasnt there, did i not get the email!??..no, i didnt and im not a drop off service, im in middle of newletter now
i will be giving out a sheet every monday for the following 2 weeks hours to be wriittedn on, yes they will duplicate the first week when they do the next one but thats just confirmation and at least i have 'something'!

PinkChick I am also writting a newsletter as you said we are not a drop off service. even a drop sometimes you need to chech if they are not fully booked. actually this year am not going to be messed about.