Nursery "monitoring" behaviour are they fobbing me off?

[callmeovercautious]

DD keeps getting bitten by another DC. They are both 26/27M and I know they bite at that age . However it has been going on for months now with no sign of improvement. Occasionally they spot it and deal with it, I get an accident form etc. More often DD comes home with a mark on her and tells me " X bit me".

We have raised this with the key worker twice now and all she will say is that they are monitoring the other DC. What is monitoring?

As far as I can tell they certainly are not monitoring the other child as my DD keeps getting bitten - sometimes quite badly. I asked if DD was antagonising the other DC, if it was just her fighting with him but they said no, this Child is the same with all the others, usually unprovoked.

Should I leave them to "Monitor" or do you think I need to talk to the Supervisor?

My own DS was put on a week on "shadowing" after he went through a phase of biting - after the week they had thoroughly figured out what triggered the incidents and since then we have had much improved behaviour

i think after months there should be some shift in behaviour

not expecting 100% perfection but if they are monitoring they should be able to spot the flash points

Talk to the supervisor - biting is unacceptable & anti-social

i would talk to the manager tbh.
your child deserves to be kept safe at nursery. if this means that they keep her and the other child separated at all times then that's what they should do.
absolutely unacceptable that she keeps coming home with bite marks

rubyslippers - that is what I had expected, that they would keep an eye on DC then work with him/her to learn how to deal with the frustration. Glad your DS has worked it through

Orangutan - thanks for your support - I did think I would be told I was being OTT

thisisyesterday - I don't think they can seperate them without the other DC having to leave. The set up is too restrictive, and it is not just my DD getting biten. TBH the answer is either the biting stops or one of them will leave the Nursery - I would much rather DD stayed put. Or perhaps the staff need a kick up the bum? Maybe they are not monitoring anything? Who knows

but i mean, surely there is enough staff there that they can make sure that your child and the other child are involved in different activities? or at different ends of the table>? that kind of stuff.

like rubyslippers describes her DS being "shadowed" that's what they need to do. and make sure said child isn't going near any of her victims!

callme, can you ask the nursery to elaborate on what they mean by monitoring and what sort of actions can follow from that? Agree that it is not on for your dd to keep coming home with bites.

There was a boy at nursery whom my dd would frequently say hit or bite her etc and he was a bit notorious. Then one day, the nursery staff told me MY dd was biting and scratching other children completely unprovoked. I was mortified, but the nursery were matter-of-fact about it and kept me informed. Eventually my dd did get over that phase but it did go on for a few months. It could be the case that one day, the shoe will on the other foot.

Also, my dd would tell me that boy did xyz to her even in circumstances when I knew it could not have been that boy. For example, she would point to her BCG scar and say that boy did it. So you got to take what dcs of that age say with a pinch of salt!

blueshoes - I know what you mean - I do wonder if we have made an issue of it so any little thing is now "X bit me". But I have talked to the staff and they seem to be aware of the problem with this one Child. They are not suprised by her accusations at all! Also I have discussed her behaviour as well - they say she is fine, can fly off on one if pushed but not biting and hitting, the odd shove here and there - which is how she is when I am around. I think I will talk to the manager and ask for an explanation of what is going on to remedy the situation. Thanks for you advice.

thisisyesterday - that is what I would expect to happen - just not sure it is! Thanks

Update incase you lovely Ladies that replied earlier are interested
Thanks for all the advice last night, I met with the manager today.

It seems the DC in question is now being shadowed - as blueshoes described. I get the sense that something may have gone on in this little persons life hence still going through this phase at this age. The Manager was very honest, reassured me it is likely DD is telling the truth and we will be reporting any more instances so they can record them.

I did make it clear that I expect some improvement in the situation but that I was understanding of the practicalities as well.

I hope they can help the other LO, for all their sakes (especially DD!).

That's great, callme. It sounds like the nursery is doing the right thing to support that dc and protect your dd. Hopefully, this will phase will blow over soon. All the best.

that is good news

thanks for the update