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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Advice needed on new nanny

21 replies

lisalisa · 16/12/2008 16:18

I have had nannies for 12 years now from all parts of the world and of all nationalities - the good, the bad and the ugly!

We usually end up recruiting Slovak or Czech nannies who we find to be a very good fit in our family.

This time around ( our previuos nanny had to leave suddenly as her mother needed an operation at home) we interviewed a phillipino lady and took her on. I am wondering what to do as i don't feel its such a good fit.

Her english at interview was ok - she seemed to undersatnd what was said and she appeared friendly and personable. I have to say ours is not the trad nanny job as I have 5 kids alhtough even youngest is now full day in nursery so support needed only at begiing and end of day and housework i nbetween. I chose this lady as she semed efficient iwht houseowrk and pleasant wiht kids.

After 10 days I am regretting my choice somewhat. She is a sweet person but incapable of using initiative or managing by herslef. For e.g. when she picks up my ds2 on his half day days i nschool ( which will peter out soon asn be full days) she will not book the taxi to take her home ( it is a half hour journey) as she feels nervous of speaking to the cab company . She does not seem to have great road sense. She cannot remember to bring home each child's bottle/coat etc if they forget. When she answers the phone and i speak to her from work to give her mesgages etc ( such as please chop salad for dinner etc) she seems as if she undersands then when i return she has not done oit and trasnpires she didn't udnersand.

I've aske her to keep a shopping list as we run out of things but this is beyond her organisational capablilities. She is also slow at oding the famil ywash and keeping things organised etc in the house.

I feel she is wrong for us but feel bad for her .

it is diffiuclt to communicate with her as she shows no feelings at all and evenin in the morning in respnse to my cheery "heelo how are you this moring" she is very flat an d baritone.

Also odd - when she babysits ( she lives in ) she stay sin her room in teh dark even from 8.00pm and lays in bed. her prerogativ to do what she wants etc but its odd. Other nannies tend to be on laptops/pohone/watch telly. Also she's half askeep which I don't like so early if I'm gong out. Lst night i asked her to listne out for dd1 to answer the door ( she was babysitting) and when I came home at 9.30pm I knocked at her door to find out whether dd was home yet and she was in bed in teh dark ( oh naked as well - she sometimes lets covers slip so I can see ) and she expressed suprise and thought dd was in teh house. I had explained carefully that dd would knock at about 9.30 and she shoudl answer door quickly ( dd gets quite nervous).As it turns out dd didn't get home till 10.00pm but its more the lack of undersanding/communication that worries me.

By now - after a week or so I develop a relationship with my nannies - chats over cups of tea/ anecdotes about kids/feedback / bugbears even but here ther's nothing.

Unsure whether to get rid or try for longer......

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ingles2 · 16/12/2008 16:22

What's her experience Lisa? Is she qualified?

lisalisa · 16/12/2008 16:27

No - she isn't. Was nanny to family in Dubai and came with good references. She says previous family were very strict and used to hit kids and shout at her. I still don't feel its a transtition thing though - it's more than that.

Also - she now says her visa has run out and she wants me to write a letter of support etc. I am reluctant to do this in case I incur any liability ( i am a lawyer - groan_). Does anyone know what weight/liability these letters carry in the event that she incurs debt/can't support herself if and after she leaves our employment?

OP posts:
Twims · 16/12/2008 16:31

So is she an aupair or a nanny?

As a lawyer I am slightly bemused that you took on someone who's visa was running out - did you not check this along with other documentation etc.

VirginBoffinMum · 16/12/2008 16:33

I would be worried about this nanny, as well the paperwork side of things. These people might be better to deal with in future. We talked to them a couple of years back and didn;t go down this route in the end for financial reasons, but they were very helpful.

www.housekeepercompany.co.uk/

pickcherries · 16/12/2008 16:44

lisa, did u decided what nursery to send your lo 2 in the end, i remember seeing on another thread u were thinkin of active learning? im thinkin ofsendin my lo there.....

piscesmoon · 16/12/2008 16:44

It sounds as if she was an old fashioned servant in Dubai so I expect that she was working or in her room. The boundries she had are unacceptable in our country but she knew where she was. Does she have friends, English lessons etc.
I think that if you keep her you need a very clear job description. I don't think she is managing the change of culture and needs help. It sounds as if you have got an extra DC.

AtheneNoctua · 16/12/2008 17:09

Oh no Lisa, this sounds difficult. But, I think the visa might be a blassing in disguise: just the excuse you need to let her go.

She sounds like she would be well suited to being someone's house keeper, but not a nanny with lots of active kids.

Although that lying in the dark naked thing is truly odd.

ingles2 · 16/12/2008 17:20

no brainer this one Lisa,..she'll have to go. She's not actually a Nanny but a housekeeper.
As for the nudity, maybe she's wondering if there are chores in the bedroom.

VirginBoffinMum · 16/12/2008 17:21

Reminds me of the MN classic governess thread!!

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/12/2008 17:26

if you are not happy with your child care -whatever the choice then they need to go

she does ound a little strange - dark and naked and if she doesnt understand comands then she is no use to use

you need to be able to trust your childcarer as you obv have issues (and quite reightly) with her

and the visa running out ............

sounds to me you need more of a housekeeper/nanny

AtheneNoctua · 16/12/2008 17:29

What is the MN classic governess thread?

Twims · 16/12/2008 17:48

governess thread

nannynick · 16/12/2008 18:39

Visa has run out, or is runming out? If the latter, dispatch her on the next available flight. If visa has expired, I think you may need legal advice - is there anyone in chambers who knows immigration law?

VirginBoffinMum · 16/12/2008 19:31

At least she wasn't chopping salad naked
I am getting silly now.

lisalisa · 16/12/2008 21:05

Oh dear re visa etc. I didin't know this when employing her in answer to the poster who asked this. Am used to employing EEC girls who no longer need work permits and didn't really think to ask ( in my defence there are 3 phillipino nannies in my road who have been with their families for donkeys years and i just presumed they all sorted otu their visas and cuold stay more or less indefinitely).

She's in her room and naked again.

OP posts:
nbee84 · 16/12/2008 21:36

Lol lisalisa - is she practising her aleph bet? I learnt vuv today

lisalisa · 16/12/2008 21:51

very funny nbee84. And well done on learning vuv!!! You are amazing

OP posts:
nbee84 · 16/12/2008 21:57

I feel so silly learning my alphabet alongside a 5 year old and she often has to correct me . Even the 3 year old laughs at me because I keep forgetting how to count to 5 in Hebrew.

AtheneNoctua · 16/12/2008 22:08

Lisa, I once had a nanny who wore really skimpy clothes. I had to have a talk with her and say tha tI expected her shorts to cover her but cheecks and her tops to cover her bra. She was a bit embarrassed (or pretending to be) and said "I am shy" to which I replied "no you're not!" God only knows how I would have reacted to finding her butt naked.

She is weird. You can not expect to change her. The visa is the perfect excuse to say good-bye.

VirginBoffinMum · 17/12/2008 10:48

I had an AP once who was a p/t model and used to clean the front windows of our ground floor flat in her undies. We were very popular with the neighbours. Very popular indeed.

AtheneNoctua · 19/12/2008 08:09
Grin
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