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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

My ds just can't get along with mindee's....help needed!

8 replies

CrackopentheBaileys · 08/12/2008 22:01

I have a 7 year old boy, who is in general very well behaved, well mannered etc.
However, he just seems to become a different child when my mindee's are here. I look after 3 school age kiddies, and he always seems to be bossing them around, not wanting to share, getting annoyed with them etc. It just seems that it's all the time, and it's really starting to get to me.
I understand that he doesn't like to share my time or his things, so we have a rule that his bedroom is off limits, and he can take any precious toys upstairs out of the way. He is a very intelligent kid, and totally gets that I have to work to earn the money, and that if I wasn't doing this I wouldn't be home for him.
I have tried a star chart with a reward at the end of the week. I have tried talking, being cross, sending him to his room etc and now I am out of ideas.
I simply can't allow this to continue, it's not nice for anyone to have this sort of environment, and I hate beig cross with him.
I always nip it in the bud when I see it, and I hope that the mindee's are a bit oblivious to be honest, but it's still not nice, and I would REALLY appreciate some advice/tips
Sorry,I know it's a bit long winded!

OP posts:
CrackopentheBaileys · 08/12/2008 22:08

whoops....he's 8....where did the time go

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AbbaFan · 08/12/2008 22:34

I can understand where your coming from. I have an 8 year old DS too (and im a CM).

Have you only just started CM'ing? If so, maybe it's just his way of getting used to it.

I have been CM'ing for 7 years, so my eldest has just grown up with it. However he does still get 'fed up' with the mindees some of the time. Last week I had to have a talk with him about it. I just explained that it was really important that the mindees felt happy at our house, and that his behaviour had alot to do with that. I just reminded him how lucky he was to have me at home all the time, and if I did'nt have any children to look after, I would need to find another job. At 8, he can take that on-board, and he has been better this week.

Good luck, isn't it always your own that cause the worry!!!

CrackopentheBaileys · 09/12/2008 08:34

Thanks AbbaFan, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one

I have been a C/M since 06, so I don't think it's that.

I had my daughter in January, she's 11 months now, and I wonder if that has any bearing on it. He has never shown a hint of jeallousy towards her and absolutely dotes on her though.

As I say, at all other times he is a really lovely boy, I get comments all the time about how sweet he is. Confused yet? Me too

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AbbaFan · 09/12/2008 09:21

Good luck, im sure it will be just a phase.

CrackopentheBaileys · 09/12/2008 18:27

I'm still hoping for tips if there's anyone out there that has any ideas?

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AbbaFan · 09/12/2008 20:10

The only thing that works for me, is keep them REALLY busy after school. Playdough, games, k nex or whatever you have.

Today I had 8 afterschool (including my 2), and we did some christmas crafty bits that I got from baker ross. The kids all really enjoyed it, and there was no time for arguing

DieselGirl · 09/12/2008 20:16

I just started 3wks ago and my DD is doing the same. Iam pulling my hair out don't know what to do.

CrackopentheBaileys · 09/12/2008 21:00

It's surprisingly tough isn't it? I really don't want to keep on coming down tough on him as it would just seem like we are constantly bickering.
The really busy idea is a good one, although he makes fuss about the smallest thing....' thats my bit of green dough! no you can't have it' even thought there is a whole pot of it!!!! 11 mo dd clinging to my legs whilst I make spag bol is probably not helping my mood

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