How long (roughly!) does it 'normally' take to settle a 10 month old with her CM?

[SmokeyCat]

I am sure this has been asked many times before but I'm struggling to find an answer in the archives!

My just under 10 month old DD started at childminder this week. She's been for about 6 hours so far, over three days. The first day she was fine, but the second and third days she cried (screamed!) for about half the time she was there. When I went to pick her up she did calm down quite quickly and was soon back on the floor, playing quite happily, whilst I was talking to the CM.

I know this amount of crying is probably quite common at first, but I just wondered, how long do children 'normally' take to settle. I'm sure there is a wide variation, and no such thing really as 'normal' in this context, but I'm a bit at sea here, and don't really have any idea what to expect!

I guess another way of putting it, is at what point should I get worried if she hasn't settled and stopped crying? A couple of weeks? Four weeks? Six?

Thanks everybody!

I should think two weeks really. Does she go everyday. It's hard for the child at this age because developmentally they are learning to be attached to their main care giver and will have to relearn this with the cm IYSWIM. As long as you are consistant at each drop off she should settle fine with time. When I worked as a cm we had a months settling in period with each new child.
HTH

I personally have found that children (especially younger ones) always settle best when they are in the setting properly, rather than the shorter settling in sessions, itms.

All the new mindees I have had (ones that were 9/10/11 months when they started that is) have usually settled within or just after the first week of being with me properly.

Hello. Thanks so much Whyme and SouthernBelle.

She has gone on a Monday, Thursday and Friday so far, three hours the first day, two hours on the second and third.

This week she's going to do similar. Do you think it would help her to go for slightly longer though, perhaps a full morning or evening, even if she's upset? Should I go and collect her if and when she starts crying? Or let her and the CM work through it together? I'm a bit worried too as we're having this settling in period and then we're away for two weeks over Christmas. Might we be back to square one after that?

One of the reasons I am asking is that although I really like and trust my CM, she's quite young and new to this herself, so she's not had a lot of experience in settling younger babies. She seems worried that my DD cries and I have to reassure her that it's OK, rather than the other way round!

Thanks so much for any advice you can give!

Hi Smokeycat..

Each child is different and some settle easier than others. They say from 10-13 months are the hardest to settle, cant say i would say that was far wrong.

It really depends on how often you have left your child with friends/family and if you have taken them to playgropus etc, as those little ones who 'get about regular' often settle easier.

I tend to find that starting at half a day and bringing it up to a full day after a week or 2 works well. To many short sessions often confuse the child (i personally find) as they dont know if there coming or going.

Stick with it, one thing i will say is once you have done a half/full day try NOT to go back and than do a few hours as this will really mess things up and the one thing the child needs is some kind of stability.

Good luck =)

maybe she didnt settle as you were there

once you go, she may cry a little bit, as many 10mth olds are getting to that clingy stage, but as long as she sees your cm regually, sure all will be fine