what can I expect from a childminder regarding sickness/being under the weather

[pinguthepenguin]

Hi guys, hope you can help with this one.

I seem to have some issues with my cm ( although none that I've actually had out with her) and need to know if my concerns are founded or not.

DD has been with her for 1 year. During this time, my cm has phoned me at work at least 10 times stating that my DD is ill. Around 4 of these times she has actully insisted that I leave work to get her. On every single occassion, i've found my dd to be either perfectly fine, or perhaps a little under the weather, but thats it. On no occasions have I got there to find my dd as ill as cm has inferred.
I've also found that when I return my dd to cm the day after said illness, cm seems very 'irked', and makes quite loaded comments about whether or not my dd should actually even be there, as she may make the other children ill. She also gives me a blow-by-blow account of how demanding/whingy my dd was, and how she simply cannot devote her entire day to holding DD, when there are other children to look after.
The thing is, (and I know I am biased here)but my DD is quite an easy going child, and is generally very good. However, like most children, she has 'off-days', where she can be unusually clingy. My childminder almost always attributes this to illness, and seems to resent my DD taking up a lot of her time wanting to be held. Thats when the phonecalls arrive.

Am I being unreasonable. What should I do? I dread having any kind of confrontation with her, but don't feel like I can carry on like this, fearful that I'm going to get a phonecall at work, where I spend the rest of the day trying to make arrangements to leave/alternantive provision/feeling like a crap mother for not rushing home.

Now, I admit to not being overly precious about coughs and sniffles, but nor would I send my child out if she was really ill, but I have to go to work, as does her father. I hate being made to feel like an awful parent when I send her. It sometimes feels like the cm doesn't want to know if my DD is having anything less than a perfect day.

I wouldn't expect a child to be off with a cough or cold. I am a CM and my one mindee has had a cough for a couple of weeks. She has also given it to my DD. I don't mind her coming though as otherwise she would end up being off loads. I am guessng she stilll gets paid when your DD is ill?

Sorry not much help, I am sure somebody better will come along soon

Hi there, Im a childminder myself, and I think that for you as a mother, your best bet is to speak out your concerns with the minder regarding your daughter.

None of us are in anyway able to say your childminder is right or wrong to send your daughter home as we dont know how she was on the days you were called to collect her, however. If (on the childminders point of view) you have 3 children, 2 of which parents are more cautious about them catching anything contagious than you have there children to think of tOo, Especially if you have a sickness policy regarding sick/unwell children.

As a Childminder reading your message i appretiate your statement that 'you and your partner have to work' but your childminder is not a nurse, nore are we insured to care for unwell children and have a fine line in regards to being cautious in regards to child health. A little sniffle or slight runny nose does not mean your minder should be sending your child home, but a slight temperature does = parent attention (and calling you is the right thing for your minder to do).

It does sound as if your minder is making the most of her days off though in regards to the comments when you bring your daughter back in the following morning and is not apropriate to really make these comment to/through your daughter. (As a personal dig)

Lastly in relation to when you reach the minders and your daughter seems fine, I cant count the times where i have had to call a mum where this has happenedS, and the child lies there half dead all day, soon as mum arrives they jump for joy as if your a liar.
Its like an automatic reaction.

Either way, please speak to your minder, for the sake of your working relationship, maybe even write her a note regarding your concerns, you have every right to do so..

Yes I agree you need to speak to her. Thinking about it she might not have any idea of your worries and if she did guinuinly think that your daughter was really ill then she might have been trying to do the best thing all round.

Speak to her and see what she says. You should be able to get some idea from her reaction too

I am a childminder, first off, have you ever tried to send your DD back to her after you have picked her up. If she seems fine to you, then ask you childminder to take her back for the day?

In my setting I would only send a child home if they had a temperature, streaming green nose, constant crying etc, otherwise I am more than happy to have them if they are a little off colour and need a quiet day.

Good luck chatting to your childminder, a good one shouldn't mind chatting through these things with you

Good Post P&L

As a CM, I have a policy, that if a child is unwell in that it impairs on the care and attention I can give to other mindees, then the parents will be called to take the child home.

Now I don't send children home that readily, and if they have a cold and just want to veg on the sofa that is fine, but if I have a child that I have to carry around, who cries every time I put them down to attend to other mindees, then yes they should be at home.

I also state, if a child is not fit to go to outside activities, then they should be at home, as it is not fair on the other children to miss out, because of unwell child.

Saying all that I sent a 12month old child home last week with temperature, very miserable and wanting to be cuddled all day, when I had a9 month and 21 month to see to as well. But it was the first child in quite awhile I have sent home.

Coughs and colds they stay with me, even though they may need a bit of extra attention (children need to get coughs and colds to build up their immune systems). If they are lieing down wanting to sleep all day, or running a temperature, or vomitting, or the runs, they go home. Hope that helps.

My DS has been with our CM for almost 2 years now and I have never received a call asking me to pick him up. Now admittedly (touch wood) he is a boy of robust health, but does have the occasional cough and cold. The downside of this policy is that he will tend to catch colds off the other mindees as the same policy is extended to them, I'm fine with that though as otherwise he will be exposed to everything at preschool for the first time.

Ten times in one year seems excessive to me. How do you feel otherwise about the C/M how happy is your DC there ? Are any other C/Ms available in the area ?

This is a grey area. What do your CM ploicies say? I think you need to have a chat about it and ask her to be conscise about her policy on sickness and if you are not happy tell her and if she won't budge consider moving.

I am not currently minding but if I go back I will not be minding children that have a temperature/have been sick or have runny nappies (more than a couple)/ are not well enough to take part in normal activities ie toddler group/school run etc.

I would still mind children who have coughs/colds/are under the weather but ok.