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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Please don't jump on me - suspect DS is bored at childminder

22 replies

blithedance · 01/12/2008 21:17

DS (3) has been going to his childminder about a term. She's very kind, Ofsted registered, clean house, all fine.

The thing is that I can't work out whether he actually does anything all day apart from play in the playroom and watch TV. They never seem to go out apart from school run, once he's done a painting is all. She doesn't go in for a daily diary or anything like that or volunteer any details of what he's been like. She has two younger mindees so obviously has to fit their naps in etc.

It's become obvious this term he's very bright (or just temporarily forward), can already count, nearly read, is picking up everything very fast. I'm not sure that a day mooching about in a playroom is really doing anything for him? Do you think it would be taken badly if I press a bit on what they do - stories, activities etc. Of course it's possible the CM has contributed to his development but that's not the impression I get at pick up time. She's a lady of few words so it's a bit hard to find out.

I'm thinking of moving him to nursery, there are a couple of good ones locally, especially as he might be increasing from one day to two. Two days of solid CBeebies seems a bit much for anyone.

Am I being precious or would it be reasonable to expect a little more activity/communiciation?

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singingtree · 01/12/2008 21:20

Is there any reason in particular that you chose a childminder over a nursery in the first place? It sounds like he's ready for nursery (tho I am no expert in these things, my DS is younger)

breadandroses · 01/12/2008 21:21

Shouldn't she be doing a daily diary anyway as part of her record keeping?

Original poster

blithedance · 01/12/2008 21:23

Well as it was just one day a week, and he also does 3 mornings playgroup, I thought another group setting might be OTT and just a quiet day in a home environment would do. But he doesn't really do quiet, it appears...

It is really taxing me.

OP posts:

Original poster

blithedance · 01/12/2008 21:23

Diary? Really?

OP posts:

georgimama · 01/12/2008 21:25

Nurseries aren't necessarily better, you may just need a different/better CM. I moved DS from a nursery to a childminder because he was bored out of his brain.

Heated · 01/12/2008 21:33

Jmo, but I'd move him to a nursery, it sounds boring for your dc.

The reason why mine have not gone to the local CMs below school age is for precisely that reason. She's fine for the school run for dc1, all he wants to do then is chill-out & actually she would have been fine when they were very small too, offering quiet 1-2-1 attention.

Current CM's been keen to have my younger dc but because of the range of ages she minds and because of the varied pick-up/drop-off times she doesn't go anywhere, they rarely play outside & don't actually do very much. There are some fab CMs who do lots with their mindees, just not the ones available to me.

DC2 loves nursery - the countryside, the animals, the messy play, group singing, reading time, playing with her friends - oh and the food!

elkiedee · 01/12/2008 21:37

It does sound like he might benefit from a different setting. Our DS goes to a childminder where he's very happy, and some of his time every day undoubtedly involves CBeebies and just playing around. But I think for him he gets a lot out of playing with the other mindees (was 3, now only 2) and the rest of the CM's family. The whole family seems to enjoy playing with D and he loves the attention. They go out to a couple of groups a week but she also plans activities at home, including painting and looking at flashcards, she seems to spend more time thinking about how to teach him things than I could have dreamed of. And though dp mostly collects him, we see and hear plenty of evidence of what he's been up to.

fishie · 01/12/2008 21:38

when does he start at nursery proper? he might appreciate a bit more of a quiet life then.

that cm sounds well dull though, ds has always been in a whirl with ours and she quite often takes him out of nursery to go on educational trips as part of her own programme.

Original poster

blithedance · 01/12/2008 21:45

He starts school Sept 09. Until then it is mix of playgroup mornings (only 3 available) and CM or nursery.

OP posts:

fishie · 01/12/2008 21:59

it may be easier in long run to stick with cm if she is going to do after-school or drop offs. sept is a long time though and he must be bored to death.

i used another cm when mine was on hols and she was more like yours blithedance, home based and very chilled. i'll use her again because she is very good with children and i trust her, but ds didn't like it much compared to the energetic regime he is used to. interestingly most of her mindees are girls, regular cm has mainly boys.

juuule · 02/12/2008 08:47

Why do you think he's bored?

It might be that he is forward because he is able to do things at his own pace. If he's going to playgroup 3 mornings a week anyway then he's not missing out in that area and it might be beneficial for him to be in a more relaxed setting the rest of the time.

I would ask the cm what they have done during the day. Could you make an appt and go round for a chat one day and discuss what they do during the day. Not unusual to be interested in what your child is up to during a day. You might find out they do a lot more than you thought. You could point out that you would prefer more communication of his day.
If you're happy otherwise, then I'd sort this out before putting him somewhere else. He might be quite settled and happy with things as they are and he'll be into the hurly burly of nursery/school life in a very short time from now.

Lizzylou · 02/12/2008 08:55

Perhaps they do do things but your DS just doesn't tell you? Both my boys clam up when I ask them about their day!
We chose a CM for DS2 for 3 days per week, I have to say she is fab.
Every day she writes in his notebook what they have done, what he has eaten etc.
It is very unusual for them to have spent a whole day inside (I think yesterday was the first day, because it was so cold) but she tells me what they have been up to if they haven't gone out as well (painting/craft/role play etc). She does so much with him and her other mindees, she is fab. They do occasionally watch Cbeebies/DVD, but that is also recorded, as with little comments on DS2's development and how he is learning through play. It is like a nursery (she is ex-Nursery manager)but in a home setting, which really suits my DS2.
I think you need to ask her for a daily sheet of what he's done and if you're still not satisfied look elsewhere. Not all CM's are like this, ask for a recommendation for another one?

HSMM · 02/12/2008 09:44

The children I CM for go to pre school once they are 3. I take them to pre school in the morning and then pick them up at lunch time. We spend the afternoons extending what they did in the morning (if it was something they were interested in). I find it is great preparation for school, because they get dropped off and go into a 'class' of their peers for a few hours and then come back for lunch. The ones that choose not to go to pre school come to toddler groups with me. I do have a tele in the play room, but I'm not sure the children know it is there. They also spend a lot of time outside.

Perhaps your CM doesn't have time to chat at the end of the day and you should make an appointment with her to go through what you both plan to do.

HSMM · 02/12/2008 09:45

Oh! One more thing. If your DS is with the minder in the holidays, he may have some great learning opportunities from spending time with the older school children?

JenniPenni · 02/12/2008 09:52

As a CM I make the time to write a detailed daily diary plus chat with mum/dad at the end of the day - part of the job! Every parent should know what their child does/eats/their demeanour etc. during the day.

I do LOADS with my kids in the way of indoor and outdoor activities. They are 1-3 years old.

thebody · 02/12/2008 12:51

I have just been approved as a childminder and I am dying to fill my places.. I cant wait to take mindees to the park,and shops, to the library and to play groups, i have a large playroom and sure i will do arts and crafts and have loads of toys and books, i also will have to keep a daily diary for the parents and let them know what their child is doing and acheiving with me. Your minder sounds a bit lazy to me, as for tele i think one programme a day is the most i would allow to calm things down and cuddle to...

Original poster

blithedance · 02/12/2008 20:18

Thanks for all the advice- I'll have word with the CM this week I think. It's not obvious what's for the best - that's why I was canvassing opinions really!

OP posts:

chloemegjess · 03/12/2008 00:29

I would just ask when you pick him up what they have done. Just do it in a casual way, not like you are making a big deal out of it. Even just ask you DS when she is there.

I would expect her to be doing stuff with him. I do stuff with my mindee and she is only here after school.

RachieB · 05/12/2008 22:57

you need to speak to her about this, and ask her to keep an activity / daily sheet too

not all 3 yr olds tell the truth lol so he may have done things he hasnt told you about!

does she have a garden ? that your son spends time in ? do they not go to toddler groups etc ?

she must be going insane if she has 3 children indoors all day every day .....

MadMarg · 06/12/2008 15:21

If you're finding it hard to get answers out of her why don't you ask a few small specific questions? My DS doesn't like getting his hands dirty, so it was 'interesting' when they did fingerpainting at nursery! If there is something your DS is having problems or finds interesting at home, ask your CM what his reaction is to that sort of activity at her house. She will either tell you what it is, or admit that they dont' do that sort of activity. It wouldn't take long to work out what they are 'not' doing!

Scarfmaker · 07/12/2008 19:10

thebody - you're not exactly giving us childminders a good name by saying this childminder "sounds a bit lazy to me".

I'm afraid the realities of looking after children during the day will take up most of your time and then you will probably try to do your paperwork in the evening (like me) while trying not to neglect your own family's needs.

I'm sure the childminder does her best looking after and keeping the children occupied while also doing the day to day things like feeding, changing nappies, washing up, school runs, etc.

Also, activity/daily sheets - not every childminder keeps these and then not always on a daily basis - yes nurseries but not all childminders - it's sometimes quicker and easier to inform the parent at end of the day what's been happening. This is why good communication with a childminder is vital.

Blithedance - just be open and ask what your child is doing during the day - I'm sure you will be surprised and realise that at just 3 years old he's still got a lot of time to be worried about formal learning.

insywinsyspider · 07/12/2008 22:03

blithedance - I had a cm for my ds (2.5yr) she's just handed her notice in due to personal reasons (financial I think) so he's off to a nursery but for past few months I think he's been unsettled and I suspected bored - prob due to her having to make big life decisions - she never told me this at the time but I did start asking more questions when I picked him up about his day, I also asked if she could help me out with teachning ds his colours as he struggles with the concept and we got a few pictures back which was encouraging - I also gave her xmas craft pack to do with him as pressies for family, depends on your cm but mine didn't seem offended and as I'm rubbish at diff situations gave me a way in to make sure he watched less cbeebies, I did also ask how she though he was doing and if there was any reason why he didn't want to go and came back wild but she didn't tell me what was going on but at least I felt I asked all the right questions - I think he'll be happier at nursery because her heart wasn't in it anymore - not suggesting thats what your cm is like but its good to understand why they cm and what made you choose her

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