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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Childminder let me down by text!

36 replies

pippylongstockings · 27/11/2008 14:42

Just wanted some perspective on this. My kids have been off from their CM this week after getting pink eye there on Mon, they were due to go back tomorrow.

I have just got a text from my CM saying "Hi I'm gonna have to miss tomorrow as I'm away vistin my aunt in hospital she's unwell sorry to inconvience you. As usual on monday"

I am really cross.

Why could she not have rung me earlier to let me know ? Why couldn't she arrange to visit tomorrow once I pick the kids up - I could have pick them up early if she had asked. I know I don't know the full story but I have tried to ring and it just goes straight to a/p.

I feel like getting a nanny in for the day and billing my CM for the cost. I can't take any more time off work without serious eye-brow raising by my boss.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

thenewme · 27/11/2008 14:48

My feeling ie she has texted you as she knows she is in the wrong.

I would be looking for alternative child care, not so much that she has cancelled a day but that she didn't have the good grace to phone you.

Original poster

pippylongstockings · 27/11/2008 15:03

Hmmm - that's kind of how I feel but I don't want to cut of my nose to spite my face.

The kids have been there for over a year and she was by far the best CM in the area out of the 5 I visited. My DH has never been overly happy with her as he feels she is too familar with the kids and us, and does too much with them - but to me those are her good points that they are part of her family.

I have texted her back to say sorry to hear of her problems and I will try and sort something out but that is very difficult and can she call me.

OP posts:

babylovesmilk · 27/11/2008 15:49

I would'nt have an issue with texting as a means of communicating. But, can't she visit her aunt in her own time?

thenewme · 27/11/2008 16:12

A year is a long time. There could have been much better childminders registered now.

overweightnoverdrawn · 27/11/2008 16:28

It was better for her to text as she knew you would be annoyed by your voice .she knew she was wrong .
My DH has never been overly happy with her as he feels she is too familar with the kids and us, and does too much with them . What planet is he on .

mosschops30 · 27/11/2008 16:31

if youre CM is paid and contracted to have your kids tomorrow then I would say something. My CM would never plan to do personal stuff when she was supposed to have ds regardless of whether he'd been sick, she shouldve rung and asked you.

bozza · 27/11/2008 16:49

sounds very unprofessional to me.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/11/2008 16:53

she texted you as she knew she was wrong - texts can go astray - i would be tempted to turn up there with children and leave them there

assume you have a contract, and what does it say for time off/how much notice she has to give you

do i read it that your children caught pink eye from her/other charges?

i would be very pissed off with this

and yes i would say you are in your rights to bill her for a temp nanny

TheOtherMaryPoppinsFleckles · 27/11/2008 17:34

I think if this was the first time you've been upset to give benefit of the doubt, as you rightly say you don't know the whole story, one would assume this aunt lives far away and also that it is probably serious.

Maybe she didn't get chance to call as at the hospital already, or maybe she was afraid of getting upset on the phone?

These things happen and with the best will in the world, sometimes we do have to cancel at short notice, you cannot plan for illness regardless of what contracts might say.

popperdoodles · 27/11/2008 18:55

I don't think communicating by text is a problem. I quite often do with my parents and they text me also. Texts I can answer when I get a spare min, phone calls seem to always happen when I'm in the middle of something but I tend to go with whatever form of communication the parents want. I don't think your cm has handled this very well but there maybe a genuine reason for everything whilst you are right to be cross is it worth removing children? If no other concerns i would say give her benefit of the doubt.

dmo · 27/11/2008 18:56

what does this mean? what is too much?

rookiemater · 27/11/2008 20:11

Agree with popperdoodles. If she hasn't done anything like this before then it could be a genuine emergency. Also your view is quite naturally clouded by the fact that you have already had to take time off work.

I would ring her and tell her you are not happy and that it is going to leave you in a very difficult situation and see what her response is.

rookiemater · 27/11/2008 20:12

Oh sorry I see you have tried to phone her. I would text her and tell her you need to speak to her urgently as you have no child care for tomorrow. At the very least she may know another C/M that can cover.

smeeinit · 27/11/2008 20:20

as a CM myself i have to say im very glad none of my mindees parents are like you and your DH.
your cm does too much? wtf?
if i was her i would give YOU notice and find someone who appreciates her

Sidge · 27/11/2008 20:31

Smeeinit - are you joking? Do you really think it's appropriate for a CM to mess a parent around like this, with no proper communication?

And until the OP clarifies her husband's concerns it could be something or nothing.

lisad123 · 27/11/2008 20:33

sorry but you dont know the full story for all you know her poor auntie could eb dying CM are allowed holiday you know and most dont take the full amount needed. I wouldnt have a problem if my CM texted me at all.

Sidge · 27/11/2008 20:35

Yes she could be but doesn't the parent deserve a proper conversation and explanation as to why the CM can't have the children?

Texting is fine for routine, trivial things but in this case a phone call (or at least having the decency to answer your phone) is the least she could do.

rookiemater · 27/11/2008 20:36

You must have very understanding employers then lisad123 if they wouldn't mind you taking an additional day off after being off for 4 days with no notice ( sorry OP not trying to rub it in honest !)

smeeinit · 27/11/2008 20:40

sidge,no im definatly not joking.
and i also dont think the op has been messed around.
texting i dont see as a problem,text is the new talk!
cms aunt is in hospital unwell so she can not work tomorrow.
hows that being messed around?

lisad123 · 27/11/2008 20:45

well if the auntie is in hospital she wont be allowed her phone especially if monitors ect. And yes i have had to take time off due to cm being off, its the pleasure of having kids

rookiemater · 27/11/2008 20:54

Yes but the tone of the text, i.e. using the word "unwell" implies that it is not life threatening although of course she could just be playing it down.

I also feel that "inconvenience" is not the right word to use. Its like when your plane is delayed for 3 hours and they say "Sorry for any inconvenience that you may have occurred", makes me want to go and punch the air hostess.

What the CM is doing is effectively breaking her contract. Presumably she has written in there how much notice she will give before taking time off unless it is an emergency.

This may be an emergency but OP won't know this until she is able to speak to CM. Also I just feel that CM should have worded her text a bit more apologetically.

I'm sure you will tell me I'm being ridiculous and woman is stressed due to her aunt etc. etc. but any sensible business person would want to mimize the impact of their personal life on their clients, and should understand that for a working parent to have to take a day off with no notice is not a great thing to happen

mazzystartled · 27/11/2008 20:59

Has she been hitherto reliable? Is this out of character?

If you have no "back-up" and your only option when stuff like this happens is for one of you to stay off work, then maybe you are better off with a nursery type setting.

Sidge · 27/11/2008 21:50

She is totally being messed around!

If I texted this: "Hi I'm gonna have to miss tomorrow as I'm away vistin my aunt in hospital she's unwell sorry to inconvience you. As usual on monday" to my employer they'd have me up in front of them! (Yes I know CM aren't employees but the principle is the same)

She is being paid for and is contracted to work caring for the OPs children - you can't just text to say sorry, can't do tomorrow, see you next week. It's not like they're arranging to meet for a coffee, she's caring for her children so the OP can work!

I think it's disrespectful and unprofessional, and if it really is an emergency then the CM should have the grace (and bollocks) to speak to the OP directly.

And as for texting is the new talking - maybe so amongst friends but not in a professional capacity.

Cupofteaplease · 28/11/2008 07:32

Agree with sidge. Also, my CM has a cover childminder in place should she fall ill and need the day off. Perhaps this is something the OP and her CM could arrange for the future?

smeeinit · 28/11/2008 07:52

sidge,where has the op said she is paying her cm for the day off?

"And as for texting is the new talking - maybe so amongst friends but not in a professional capacity."

the op has said that her cm treats her children like part of the family so i would assume they are friendly enough for her to text,wouldnt you?

i shall agree to disagree with you sidge as in my view pippy should be gratefull she has a cm that loves her dc's enough to treat them as part of her family.

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