Really worried for my CM, please can anyone help me with what I can do to help her...

[GoodDaysAndBadDays]

My CM is brilliant and DD1 has gone to her for 2 years. She has 3 kids of her own, all at school, she seems to have a few before and after school too, and a few others under school age in the day.

She is the happiest, bubbliest person I know, normally....

Recently she has taken on a 6 month old baby. I also have a 6 month old baby who will be going to her in Jan 09.

My concern is that the baby she has taken on does nothing but cry all day long. She hardly sleeps (the baby!) and I can see how it is really wearing my CM out, and she is changing in front of my eyes to being a very tired, worn out looking, stressed lady. I really think a lot of her, and I'm so worried for her, but I don't know what to do to help? The crying is driving her mad.

One of her good friends is ny neighbour, and I spoke to her yesterday and she is worried about her too.

She has the baby full time, so there is no let up. She also has all the other children to look after.

If you are a CM, what would you do in this situation, do you think she should talk to the baby's mother and say she is struggling??

I think she is struggling but she is the sort of person who would never admit it.

I really want to help somehow, any suggestions please???

Thanks

How recent is recent? I know when I take on a new child (of any age) the first few weeks (sometimes a bit longer, sometimes less) are a bit unsettling for us all because the dynamics of the group change and we all have to find our feet again. I'm sure she will be back to being her normal self soon enough.

I think she has had for since Oct half term, so about 4 weeks?

Still early days imo, as LMG's says it ytakes different children differing amounts of time to settle.

OK, thanks.

Hi, is your minder allowed to look after two under 12months? its not the norm for this unless a minder has twins.

PeaceNLove, GDABD's childminder may have a variation and it's not only necessarily given to those who have twins

GoodDaysAndBadDays, I too think that it is early days yet but if I were childminder caring for baby who constantly cried, I would be discussing with parent just to make sure there was nothing wrong with baby

Thanks Tan. I just feel that if it was my baby I would want to know and would want to try and do something to help.

Peacenlove - AFAIK CMs can't normally have 2 under 12 months but she checked with Ofsted and apparently because they are both gonna be siblings of children she already has, apparently it's allowed.

Thanks to all who have reassured me it should pass. I have just never seen CM looking like this, and she did admit to me that she is finding the constant crying really hard and hasn't had to deal with this before.

The two under 12 months rule isn't normally set aside even in the case of siblings precisely for the 'coping' reasons you are seeing.

I would want to see an agreement in writing from ofsted as her insurance will be compromised if she doesn't have specific permission.

I had a hard-to-settle baby when I was CM'ing. You get there in the end but it is exhausting and I certainly wouldn't have been able to cope with two and my other workload.

I have never had a problem getting a 2 under 1 variation, nor a 4 under 5, for that matter.

It must vary from area to area then. From what the OP has stated, it sounds like this CM isn't coping with her workload as it stands. Several people are worried about her and have seen a personality change.

Not a situation that I would want to put my baby into.

It's difficult to know what to suggest when it comes to 'how to help' the CM as possibly having less children to look after would be the only solution. It was stressed over and over again on my CM courses to never promise a variation and I think if the CM has any perspective she shouldn't really ask for one in this situation unless the baby quickly settles.