How long til DD stops HOWLING when dropped off with CM?

[Liz79]

DD is 11m, been going since she was 9m. She does irregular hours as I work shifts but always goes at least 1-2 times a week. She didn't go in half term (we're term time only as DH is teacher) or the week after as she was ill. She screams/howls for ages as soon as I pass her into the CM's arms. This continues for about 10mins usually but once was an hour How long is reasonable for her to settle down and for her to look pleased to be there. She is ambivalent when we collect her. How do we know she is happy with the CM? Obviously she can't tell us

I fret a lot about her and if sending her to this CM was the right decision. There was another CM we liked more but she was more expensive and less flexible (cos of my shifts), voted best CM in the area. The one we chose is doing us a pay-as-you-go system with no minimum hours so is nice and cheap and she does very short notice, she has only just set up her business. We think there were 4 children there the other day for a short period (should be 3 unless with assistant), she often says negative things about the other children/parents - which I don't mind per se but read this is a red flag sign, I don't care what she says about us but I don't want to hear it about anyone else. Also her 2yo daughter and 3yo mindee have a chest infection (which my DD had the week after half term). Mindee is kept away but own DD is there with my DD and another little girl. Her plan for when her DD is ill is that she goes to her grandma so mum can still work, but she is at home today.

I should take her out and send her to the "best CM in ...." CM shouldn't I?

I don't know if I am worrying too much and if DD will calm down and eventually run off to play without a second glance at me.

Help!

I have a ds who is also 11 months and he has been going to a cm 2 days a week for about 3 months

he loves her so much and you can tell he's had loads of cuddles because at the end of the day he smells of the childminders perfume he always full of smiles and is pleased to see me.

It is around this age that they start to get seperation anxiety so it might be a bit of that. If I were you if it only 10 minutes and she seems happy then carry on if it is an hour each time you might need to rethink you childminder

Children often 'create' when being left with someone - even someone they know well. I care for a 7 year old who is known to do that still. It's all for show though - it's protesting that mum/dad is leaving them.

I would be concerned if the protesting continues for more than a few minutes after you have left. With babies, it may take 10 minutes to settle them... but an hour seems too much.

However your DD has not been going that long. You may have only actually left her 16 times so far, possibly less with half-term etc.

Keep trying for a few more weeks, while you investigate other options. Give yourself a cut-off-date, by which point if your DD hasn't settled, you will move her to alternative care.

from experience locally i'm sorry to say you get what you pay for. i dont want to upset anyone but its just something i have noticed with local cms.
i think maybe regular hours could help, but by now after being there for the amount of time she has been there she should be a bit more settled.

My ds went to cm, who i thought was great and i am friends with her still as now cm myself. He went to her from 10 months to 20 months old he went 2 days a week. He cried when I dropped him off every single time for that whole 10 months. I know he was very well looked after and that he had a nice time he just didn't want to be parted from me. She was very good, she would take him from me and distract him with something right away. I would say a quick goodbye and leave but would listen at the letter box and he stopped crying almost as soon as I had gone and could hear her chatting away to him. I then could go off to work happy knowing he was happy. It is normal for a child of that age to cry on seperation but sounds like your concerns run beyond her crying when dropped off.