Your stories of people making assumptions

[maggi]

Just a chance to air your stories about people who assume all the children are yours.

I have had a teenager "F-ing" at me all along the street becuase of the number of children I had. (Only had 3 with me at the time so was quite bemused by this occassion)

Have had an adult at the school sneer at me "What! Are you starting a creche". (I had double buggy, buggy board and 4 walking- so, yes, I had my full compliment but she should realise the situation as she was a cm herself!!!???)

Loads of gentle old ladies have said things like "Oh you've got your hands full there" with a knowing smirk.

When I have a black baby, a red head, a mixed race girl and a very pale blonde lad with me I get people staring and leaning over to check in the buggy. I am almost tempted to defend myself by wearing a great big tshirt saying 'NO THEY ARE NOT ALL MINE' but then think well their prejudices are their problem. Then I feel guilty as well at the women who do have children of different races and the automatic prejudices they receive.

What are your stories

Oh yes I get the 'you've got your hands full comment all the time', I usually just nod and smile.

I'm 26 but look younger, and often get people looking me up and down and you can see them mentally counting the kids

I have also had a chap as I was walking home from school run say to me 'you shouldn't have had so many love'

Most people I find are just making conversation and I am happy to explain to them, or tell them all about childminding and what I do with the kids, where we are going, etc.

I just ignore the rude people.

Personally I've only had the 'you've got your hands full there' - only about 1000 times!

I used to have 2 children who were 5 days apart in age, and people always used to ask if the were twins. I loved sayng no, they are 5 days apart and seeing the blank look on their faces!!

On of my CM friends though, once had a man shout at her across the street and he said 'have you never heard of contraception, love' .

Yes I ignore the rude ones but then wonder about the rule that you are supposed to challenge all prejudice (when safe).

i have always looked very young

even at 28 i am always IDed

me and my nanny friend (10 years ago so we were 18 and looked about 15 max lol) used to get lots of disapproving looks when we were out with our baby charges... we looked like 2 very younge teenage mums (pushing babies in baby gap and top of the range buggies )

I am always told me charges look like me.... (blond hair, blue eyes i guess), and have been told that in all 4 families i have looked after... (the last time i was told that was just last week, on friday so 8 days ago!)

i have concluded that when people say "wow, dont they look like you" they are NOT saying dont they look like you, but yet trying to have a nice conversation!

I DO see why people assume my charges are mine though... when you look after them full time during the week and take them to all the toddler / music / swimming / library groups etc what else would complete stranger think?

Yes, used to get lots of comments when I very first started and had 5 with me (I was 29 then but also looked younger than that). Then it didn't seem to happen much and now it's all started again since I had my ds2 4 months ago. I get the usual 'you've got your hands full there' and 'room for one more?!' comments but the worst I ever had was men shouting out of vans when I was on the school run, and this with only 4 kids, it's just because of there current ages I think (20 month old and either 10 month or 18 month old in double pram, and my 4 month old strapped to the front of me and ds1 holding onto the side).

When asked recently again about the 'room for one more' I said 'actually, I've just bought a back carrier so yes, one on the back and one on the front whilst pushing the other 2

I too have thought about getting a t-shirt on occasions!!

I had the opposite when a woman in Tescos started asking me:
her: 'So you look after him (ds1) then?'
me: 'well i try to'
her: 'i mean you look after him during the day?'
me: 'err yes, um let's go home now'

I look younger than my age (33) but i think it was that i wasn't dressed v smartly (sorry nannies/cms out there!) and she knows my DH is an 'important' businessman so assumes his wife/ds1's mum would be more smartly dressed.

When I was about 12 my brother (10 yrs younger) had toddled off in a shop and was calling mommy. I saw him so went to him and a lady shunted him towards me saying ?it?s ok there?s your mommy?

I have also had people say the kids look like me (one looked more like me than her own parents

But the most annoying thing happened to my friend loads of times, people actually assumed she was the nanny and openly questioned her when she said she was mum (she is mixed race, children have white father and are quite pale). The people had the cheek to question about 3x "are you sure" before they walked off. She used to say well I was there when I squeezed them out so yes I am bloody sure.

Oh, had the twins thing too with 2 of them. They have similar hair colouring and in the pram are the same height and so people thought they were twins - they are 2 months apart in age. I've also had people presume my 10 month old mindee is my 4 month ds2's twin lol. Yes, they are the same length, about the same weight but she has an older face and ds4 clearly still small baby, it does make me

mums at school in this job and previous, all thought i was mum as the children were so happy with me, ran out and gave me hugs and kisses etc

when i said i was their nanny,its OMG - but they behave as if they love you and you are not their mum

i responded that children can love many adults and not just parants - just beacuse they love and are happy with me DOESN'T mean they love their parents any less

many parents find this difficult to understand

or i get - dont they look like you,as i am blonde and so are they - i just respond, they more like their mummy

I looked after 2 girls, one very coloured in 12m clothing and one blond in 2yr old clothing, there was 8m between them - and i was given attitude by coloured women asking if i had made up my mind which was better!!

When someone says, "Goodness, are they all yours?" - the comment I make, which is even more successful when the children are obviously from different racial backgrounds, is "Yes, and all by different fathers."

my recent favourite about my 3 year old charge is -

woman - my isn't she tall!
me - why, yes, yes she is
woman - mind you her mother is quite tall so I suppose it makes sense
me - her mother is about 5'5
woman - but you must be taller than that! at least 5'10!
penny drops
woman - oh I see! your the nanny... is the dad tall?
me - we have to go now...

blondeshavemorefun - I totally get what you mean about parents assuming a child is yours because they cuddle or run out excitedly to meet you, I correct ppl as quickly as possible!

them: are they twins?
me: Er no....theres a 2 year gap between them

About my two children one is 10 and one is 8

I get asked if mine are twins too. They are 8 and 5 with a heads height difference.

@ Sammy being 26 and looking bloody younger! In my dreams!

I met up with some old school friends, a couple of weeks ago and one of them used to see me delivering various mindees to school. The first thing he asked me was, 'exactly how many kids have you got?' I'm glad I told him, I've actually only got one, born to the man I've been married to for 18 years! I also made sure, he stopped all the gossip going round about me!

The other thing I often found myself explaining was, the name of one of my mindees. She had a strange name and every time someone asked me her name, I found myself saying, 'its OK, you can say its odd, she's not mine, I think its a tad odd too!'

loling at these posts

I've not had any comments myself, but my friend had 3 children all roughly same age in the triple buggy, one half white/asian, one white and one black and was asked if they were triplets??

gatecrash alert..I am not a nanny or cm but thought you might enjoy this story..

My little one was on a nursery trip recently (just a select 12 going to a museum workshop) so they travelled by public transport

As they were going out the nursery staff had taken their work tops off ...

they were getting off the bus when an old man shouted at them.. havent you lot heard of contraception .. stop sponging off the state and get a job

lol @ some of these

I am 29 ( but look younger)and am a nanny

i always have comments about being a young mum ,when seen out with my charges

you should see their faces when i tell them i am their nanny, BUT i have sons aged 12 and 6 of my own