CM Club: i cannot believe what this woman said to me!

[NumberFour]

I know her from post natal class years ago. I bumped into her at the shop tonight. We exchanged pleasantries including me asking about her having had number 2.

She says to me: "are you going to have another one? Oh, no, you are too busy looking after everyone elses!"

I am devastated that that woman could say something like that to me (she is a SAHM - AND I DO NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT have ANYTHING whatsoever against SAHM!!!)

She is of the type that was concerned about giving her child oat cakes because of the saturated fat content of the biscuit. I do have minor issues with such a concern.

I am so upset. We won't be having anymore kids for reasons unnecessary to go into here.

Am I being ridiculous for being so upset with her?????? I will gladly let it go if I am being a twit.

No

I get it all the time (despite DD being 11)

Why don't you have another one/Aren't you having any more/why didn't you have more

Well I would have done if I could have - insensitive twats

"insensitive twats" damn right they are

I wouldn't dream of asking someone if they were planning on having another child or not - it's so personal! Someone asked my friend this a few weeks ago, she had just miscarried and looked absolutely heartbroken, this person didn't know this as it was noe of her business.

No you are not.

I also get this (dd 8).
Maybe if I wanted to ruin my marriage I might of been able to have another but I didn't want to do that.

I have a 4y old ds, and not planning anymore as

like mumlove my relationship would not have survived another child
I had hyperemesis (extreme sickness) and spent pg in and out of hosp
I suffered PND
I have a prolapse and don't want to make it worse
we pay for 3 dcs as it - can't afford to support a fourth one

I also am happy with just DS, but should have toexplain or justify myself to people.

for you numberfour

No 4, believe it or not I get something very similar (and that with me having 4). I get your not having any more are you? You don't need to you look after everyone elses! or I get asked if dh and I own a tv?

I usually reply that need a dh for more children (hes away alot!), and that we have a nice big tv etc etc etc

You are not being rediculous, and your choices are yours, don't let other people belittle you!

It sounds like she realised that was a silly thing to say, ie "are you having another" and immediately tried to give you a get out clause which also acknowledges you have a busy job.

It was clumsy but I really wouldn't be that upset about it.

Thanks,everyone. My tears were justified, then.

I must admit to having asked people before if they will be having anymore and I promise myself that I will not do that anymore.

KM: bloody twunts came to mind, too.
SammyK: your poor poor friend!

Andy mumlove, that's more or less the situation I am in. Plus a bit more other boring stuff.

Thanks.

PS DH became cross with me when I was upset telling him this after coming back from the shop. He told me I should have stood up for myself and told her what I thought. I could not bring myself to do that in Waitrose at 6.30pm on a Friday.

PeaMclean, perhaps I could give her the benefit of the doubt. Did sound like a get out clause... insensitive. I doubt she was deliberately being a fucking bitch, as I called her loudly once I got in the car!!!!

... rather than merely being insensitive, I meant to say.....

Mind you I was accused of being insensitive this week

Because my Mum & Dad are lending me the money for this holiday & everyone is in the midst of the credit crunch and I shouldn't talk about it

But after the year I have had I think I need a holiday & I am not going to not talk about it......but I will try & shut up if I get really boring on the subject