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CM CLUB: Need advice on a problem ive not encountered before 8-(

8 replies

PinkChick · 13/11/2008 09:53

I have a mindee who has a VERY over active imagination..he can be very specific and at times i KNOW for a fact NONE of what he's saying si trues, other times ive spoken to pareents and told them and theyve been shocked and said no, not true at all!

Anyway, this mindee's behaviour has been getting worse at home, but fine here until yesterday when he bit one of the baby mindees and then after long talks and even his teacher speaking to him, he hit the same mindee in face at home time when both me and mum were there and adamently denied it!

Now mum gave me a list of things he's been saying last night, both of which relating to things that happend at school involving noe girl in particular (mum thinks this is the bad influence) and while chatting i said that its hard as we know how vivid his imagination can be, like when he told mum at pick up that i had just pushed him..thankfully mum was stood at open door at time and saw that nothing hapepnd, however, she has said that she has wrote this down as one of the things he has been coming out with..he also said (mum still there at time) that i nipped him at home time..now im getting fed up and very concerned about the things he's saying and doing and the fact it is now being recorded, im wondering what to make of it..i know mindee fabricates or totally makes things up and im sure mum does too but as you will know as a cm, you're left wide open for horrible allegations, so i need to 'cover my back' so to speak!

i was thinking i should set up a file myself including these things and put in anything like this that he says/does, even the odd little stories he comes out with which i know are not true, to show how imaginative he can be!

Has anyone had something like this happen and what did/would you do?

I do have good relationship with mum, so not overly worried, but AM worried at what he's going to do/say next, he seems quite angry for his age and seems to know what to say to 'get attention'??

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mumsanutter · 13/11/2008 09:59

Pink, I did reply in the staff room, but I would keep a note of these things in my daily diary and see if there is a pattern of sorts - ie when he has been around girl in class etc. How old is mindee? IS he at fulltime school or at preschool? Sometimes when they move into big school these things happen as they see the other children behaving differently to what they are used to, and getting attention for it (all be it negative) and copying so that they can get some attention too.

Here to listen, and help if I can

SammyK · 13/11/2008 10:07

I can understand you being worried.

Why is mum recording this? I think if you both record these thins, and discuss them in front of mindee, he will soon realise you both talk and work together, and that may deter him.

Do you have an area child protection committee? It may be worth giving them a call and them advising you on how best to tackle this with mum so that you don't leave yourself open tof alse allegations.

A mindee I had (much older), told his HT not to tell his mum he had been naghty at school as he wuld get hit. HT had to report mum to SS, even though she knew child was lying. The mum was understandably upset.

PinkChick · 13/11/2008 10:34

at nursery, hes 4..mum things new child in class is doing these things and mindee is copying?, nursery say this sint true otherwise theyd have seen it

no chick dont know of a child protection comittee..mum is recording i think to see if she can see a patterna dn work out were things are happening and see if he has copyied them?..think i will speak to CCP for advice?

thanks guys

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mumsanutter · 13/11/2008 10:41

Does the new girl go everyday? Could mindees days be rearranged so that he doesn't have to spend so much time around her. If mum thinks its this girl, then maybe she should ask the nursery to keep an eye etc. Sometimes unless we are made aware of these concerns they aren't 'noticed' and registered as a problem - been through this with ds's nursery, they had seen things but did't clock any problems until an issue was raised with them.

Are you a network minder? Could you raise this with your coordinator if you are?

PinkChick · 13/11/2008 10:50

hiya no, not not in network and mindee as wel as girl go every day at same time..however i 'could' suggest mindee mum try to swap for morning session?..as he says he DOESNT play with anyone else?..but wether there would be space or not or wether that would solve it i dont know?

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SammyK · 13/11/2008 10:54

THANKYOU PC [SMILE] [SMILE] [SMILE]

The cardi arrived just now, it's lovely thank you soo much!! You are so kind {{pc}}

PinkChick · 13/11/2008 10:55

ooh did it!..get your de-bitter out though!...ooh my hands are cold, could just wrap myself up in it too....lovely warm thought on way to you.xx

OP posts:
SammyK · 13/11/2008 18:18

Thanks PC, it's not even that bobbly you big worrier!

Thank you x

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