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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

concerned about a CM behaviour

23 replies

lisad123 · 12/11/2008 21:42

Im looking at this from a mums point of view as well as my proffesional one of working with families and children. I know a CM though a friend. She has 2 mindees, one a baby of 10 months. The baby is very quiet, and always left in a pushchair, walker or baby boucer. She never holds her, talks to her rarely and if the baby is asleep in the buggy she is bolt upright.
The other day while at group, another child was trying to feed the baby connect 4 pieces, and its only because i was nearby the poor hunnie didnt choke. When CM was told, she just laughed!!
Im shocked and have tried to drop hints but she doesnt take them on board. what shall I do??

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llareggub · 12/11/2008 21:45

Is this bash a childminder evening or something?

If you are professional working with families and children do even need to ask?

Original poster
lisad123 · 12/11/2008 21:47

well yes i do need to ask, as im not 100% of what to do, its hardly Child protection is it?? Im an outreach worker so have little to do with CM guidelines, other than training in Risk assessments.
And TY but i have been sticking up for CM tonights, i think most do a wonderful job, but thanks for jumping down my thoart!

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llareggub · 12/11/2008 21:50

I wasn't jumping down your throat at all, I'm just a little shocked that this is the fourth thread I've clicked on this evening which has been negative towards childminders. It is very surprising to me, that's all.

I'm not sure what you can do WRT to childminder in question unless you have suspicions of neglect or abuse. How often to you see this childminder? Have you are that concerned, drop the hints and say something directly.

juneybean · 12/11/2008 21:52

I don't think llareggub jumped anywhere??

Perhaps shes not as comfortable with babies as she is toddlers.

I think maybe you could hint about childminding networks?

pinkem · 12/11/2008 21:53

Would your friend be able to say something to her? I do think you should tell somebody, sorry i don't know who though! If it was my dc i would be so upset knowing that they spent thier day like that.

Original poster
lisad123 · 12/11/2008 21:57

i see her once a week, and my friend is a CM, and knows how i feel about this and too is shocked. I dont really know her well enough. Its just sad for this baby, she doesnt even lay on her back and roll, doesnt chat

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Original poster
lisad123 · 12/11/2008 21:58

sorry llarg just felt a little jumped on, i wouldnt ask unless needed.

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NCbirdy · 12/11/2008 22:00

lisad, can I ask whereabouts in the country the CM is? I know it would be a huge coincidence but I know of a childminder who exactly matches your description.... a long shot perhaps but I have been wondering what, if anything, to do. (My job involves safegaurding children so people have mentioned their concerns to me as well)

Original poster
lisad123 · 12/11/2008 22:02

im in hertfordshire

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NCbirdy · 12/11/2008 22:18

Not the same one then.

The one I know comes to a club I am responsible for, the mindee is strapped in while the older mindee joins in and CM reads a book. No talking, no eye contact, the pushchair is turned away all the time. If mindee crys she pushes the chair with a foot and carrys on reading.

I was uncomfortable but assumed the CM saw this hour as her quiet time or something and resolved to just observe for now. Then another 3 parents (individually) approached me to say that they have been in the house regularly and the child is always like this, when the mindee is unstrapped she is in a playpen with the same kind of treatment.

I have no idea what to do as it is way outside my remit within the club but feel that I cannot ignore the observations of 4 seperate people (including myself). I don't think this is really a ss issue but I am sure it is neglect on some level....

I feel your confusion Lisad, it is not easy is it?

Original poster
lisad123 · 12/11/2008 22:20

if it was a parent i was working with i would have no issues at all rasing it, or even a CM i was working with. thats for sharing though, glad my confusion is normal

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MaureenMLove · 12/11/2008 22:26

How about asking your CM friend to mention it to one of her Early Years/CIS team? As a retired CM (and a mother come to that) I think I'd want to at least mention something to someone.

NCbirdy · 12/11/2008 22:32

Exactly, within my role I would know exactly what to do, however, from the outside though I am a bit at sea!

I suppose you have to follow your instincts, if you feel something is not right then you do have to tell someone, perhaps you could talk to SS annonomously for some advice? I am sure that they could, at least, tell you who would be good to talk to? Do OFSTED have a similar facility?

Shoshe · 12/11/2008 22:34

Can you find out if she is on a Network?

If she is maybe talk to her Network Supervisor.

Original poster
lisad123 · 12/11/2008 22:38

thanks, im meeting 2 other cm friend for coffee tomorrow that both know her will see if they know if she part of network. i could do a "what if" to ss too if needed. thanks

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chloemegjess · 12/11/2008 23:05

This made me a bit sad actually. My DD is 10 months and would be absloutly miserable if she was stuck in the buggy etc. She is so active and is only in buggy when we are walking somewhere and stuff like the playpen is used when I need to pop to the loo or something. At 10 months, the baby should be really interactive by now and I just know my DD would hate to be treated like this and I would be really angry if I was paying somebody to do this.

NCbirdy · 12/11/2008 23:08

Can I just add that my experience of CMs has always been excellent. I have nothing but respect for the vast majority of CMs. I do not want to be seen as having a go at a much maligned proffesion!

Shoshe · 12/11/2008 23:12

We know Birdy, unfortunately there are some crap CM's out there that give us a bad name, we probably even more than the public, would like to see them dealt with.

NCbirdy · 13/11/2008 00:32

I can understand that, also the great british public do seem to be so good at discussing all the things that go wrong there is very little room for discussing the good stuff!

How many times have you stood in the playground and heard "ooh you know that she feeds all her mindees home made organic food every meal time and she reads her mindees books" or similar.

Orangutan · 13/11/2008 09:38

These posts are making me cry, it so hard leaving your child with a CM and to not know exactly what they get up to in the day. I'm in both boats. I have a CM who I had a RANT about last night (not happy at all with) & am in the process of registering as a CM and defo know how I don't want to be as a CM & how I will be.

Ripeberry · 13/11/2008 09:48

I'm quite shocked that the CM would even dream of taking a mindee to a group where everyone can see them and not interact with the child.
That is so sad for the little baby, at that age they need lots of stimulation and praise.
Bet the mother would be very unhappy about it if she found out.

chloemegjess · 13/11/2008 18:18

I think that somebody needs to say something or do something to be honest, The poor baby must be so bored and lonely! Does she have him/her full time?

Original poster
lisad123 · 13/11/2008 23:23

well no network reall in place here
The other CM told me today that the baby gets very little at home too Yes shes a full time place.

I think i might be tempted to borrow the baby next week and she can play with me and my dd (nearly same age). I'll keep hinting. She's fine with the older mindee so wondering if she just doesnt really do babies. Shes also on training for babies today too, so maybe she'll get a few hints there too

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