Sensitive mindee

[MisterMaker]

I've been having issues with a mindee for some time. She has been with me for nearly 7 months.

She settled for the first couple of weeks and it was going well. So it became a huge shock to realise that she is a very high maintenance child and is forever wingy, crying or wanting her own way.

She is 17 months old and an only child. I thought she might just grow out of it, but in fact it's getting worse. It's upsetting other mindees and my own child. If other mindees who are not much older than her decide to play a bit noisy, this causes a huge wave of stress from this mindee.

She is very sensitive and I feel we all walk on eggshells. It's not a great situation at all and its very exhausting work. Parents are aware of the problems and they seem to have their work cut out with her too. I don't think there is any underline health problems.

It's so difficult when you're not the parent and you're having to second guess everything. I'm a cm who doesn't look after too many children and only have 2/3 at any one time. This is more of a rant and to find out if other cm's have had this problem as well.

I think this is Only Child syndrome. The child is used to getting her own way and having her parents attention 100% of the time.
Can she entertain herself at all... or does she need you to be with her at all times? Is she clingy at toddler groups?
Children learn quickly that one set of rules operates at their home, and another set of rules operates at somewhere else... so clamp down on the wingy, wanting own way etc. Being firm and consistent will get there in the end.

Changed my name for this, for personal reasons. But been on mn for 6 years

I have a child exactly the same ( BTW, for candles my mindies are playing happily together with the bilibos generating gales of laughter and giggles, why would I want to interfere in free play?)

Mindie has been with me nearly 18 months, the last three have been sheer hell. She cried 14 times for 10 minutes a time one day, ending with mum, dad and me in tears.

I have put in place a behaviour management plan, as soon as the unnecessary tears start, she is placed on a chair facing away from the room. It takes less than 2-3 minutes for her to calm down, and I invite her to join back in with the activity.

She now willingly takes herself off to the spot by my desk and sits down when she knows that she is upset, and she self settles very well. I praise, praise, praise when she comes out of it, and the outbursts are getting less and less.

She is an extremely sensitive and over anxious child, if one of the other mindies so much as touches her cardigan, shoes or so on, the outburst is extreme. We are still working on that!

We have put her into nursery one day a week to get her used to being with a much larger group of children, with the hustle and bustle and noise. The nursery have observed all the things I have stated, so I know that it is not just me and my setting.

Things will get better, but it does take time. I know the stress you are under from this, by BP went sky high and I am sure she was the reason. I nver had high BP before, as things get calmer, my BP has got lower.

I have been minding 22 years and have never had such stress given to me by just one child in that time.

Take care