Bonus minefield

[dipsie]

Ok - looking for some opinions from both nannies and employers out there on this difficult subject.

I have been lucky to have a great nanny for the past 1.5 years. We kept her on for DS1 during the late summer (August) while I had DD1 on the basis that she would stay on when I went back to work in Feb. Obviously, this has been a pretty expensive option while I've not been earning, but we wanted to ensure continuity for the kids.

Now she says that she wants to move on, so she'll leave in a month's time.

I want to reward her for a good job done and would usually pay 2 weeks wage as a bonus if she'd stayed. However, DH really P*ed off doesn't want to pay anything. I want to find a compromise. What do people think?

nice leaving gift for her - and fwiw I think dh is right -why are you paying her as she is leaving you - but something more personal shows you appreciate her efforst etc

would you usually pay the bonus now or at christmas? if you would have paid it christmas then no, i don't think you have to pay. if you would normally pay it now, then i think you would be super nice to pay. i probably wouldn't if it were me!

unless you have been a right cow while on ML why is she leaving?

if i were you i would feel a little pissed off

i think that all mums should keep their nanny on while they are on ML, but i do understand it costs as obv you as a mb are not earning

tbh i dont think she deserves a cash bonus as she is the one who is leaving, so maybe a small gift from kids would be nice

To ask same qu as others, when were you planning to pay her the 2 weeks' pay bonus? On completion of her second year with you? As a Christmas thing? When you went back to work?

Someone leaving a job early (if the staying on during mat leave in order to be sole charge from Feb was expressly agreed between you, then she is leaving "early" if she leaves in Dec) won't expect a bonus - she'll expect to be paid to leaving date plus any untaken holiday in lieu; a nice reference; and a friendly memento.

Oh dipsie poor you-we have done the same re keeping our nanny on (am still on ML) and to be honest I would be utterly and completely narked if mine did this to me. Think you are v sweet to be considering a bonus. How about a generous gift voucher/spa voucher? Still considerably cheaper than 2 weeks pay.

I am a nanny and have only had 2 jobs give me a bonus out of all of them in 10 years! Believe me I have been highly appreciative of it but also know it was given because of my hard work and effort. A bonus is 2 things in a way 1 a thank you for work done the past year and 2 a show of appreciation and pick me up to give incentive to carry on working for you.

As a nanny having done maternity leave with parents it is a stressfull time for all parties. From the nanny's point of view we have a boss at home and feel 'watched' and anaylised, the mother to be has frequent mood swings, after the birth there are lots of visitors and family popping in which disrupts routine etc with the older child who usually no longer wants us as mum is home and its all confusing. Now I know this is all part of the job but I wanted to explain from the nanny's point of view that it would have been a difficult time and harder job whilst you were on ML.

So in that sense a bonus would have been earnt.

However from your point of view not working you would have sacrificed to keep her on so do you want to add another expense of bonus on?

It is entirely up to you what you do but I think all in all it won't be expected or complained about if not given but will be nice if given? Hope that makes sense but I have to say you and your DH would prob be happier just giving her a nice present instead.

I wouldn't give a bonus. AndI would be very resentful about having broken the bank to keep her for the sake of continuity only to have her pack it in a few months later.

Did she know that you had a hard time paying her but were doing so for continuity of care?

Sorry, but I am with your DH.

As a nanny, I do not feel a bonus should be paid under these circumstances. That bonus money is now going to be spent on recruiting a new nanny. So I'm with your DH on this one.

Me too.........Im with DH. Yes it may have been different for her whilst you were on maternity leave but we dont give any staff at work bonuses when they leave so why should a nanny be any different. Besides know you also have the expense of aa agency fee to find another one !

I think if she had been with you for many years then a bonus would be a lovely gesture but a year and a half is really not that long to be honest. Just get her a token something as a leaving present from the children but it is her choice to leave so i don't think she deserves any cash.

Save the bonus for the next nanny. You've been let down and I'm with your DH.

Also if you take the money that would have been a bonus for leaving nanny and put it into say a welcome present for new nanny then you have made an investment in your children's carer. But if you give it to old nanny, you might as well chuch it in the fire. I would look forward to new nanny and not back to the nanny who I may never see again.

I agree also with nannyj that 1.5 years is not a long time for a nanny.

Thank you for all your comments - all very useful and my DH will be happy since I've been giving him a hard time for being mean!

BTW the query on whether I have been a complete cow - not sure I have; I'm pretty laid back and during my ML have pretty much looked after the baby, so she's only had to concentrate on the toddler. obviously, having mum around has made life difficult, but we've managed.

This stuff is so difficult - sometimes I'm amazed I'm not on tip toes the whole time to avoid stepping on egg shells.

Employees in the home should be treated the same as employees in an office in my opinion. Generally, once someone resigns, they're not eligble for any bonus and I think that applies to nannies as much as it does to the office worker. I agree with whoever said that the bonus is partly a thank you, and partly a motivator for the future. You just lost the motivation part.

if she has genuinely been great, a gift, perhaps in the form of vouchers, is a better idea.

slight hijack but am first timer and wondering what is the 'done thing' for xmas bonuses for nannies?

I LOVE ours, she's staying on, but she's only been with us since July and is part time (20 hours a week).

I want to give her cash not a gift but what's reasonable/typical/done? I am thinking about one week's pay - is it too much or appropriate?

I've never given as much as a week's pay. But, some people do. The budget for my nanny's Christmas present is more in the range of £50-£100. Seems plenty to me.

I don't get bonuses from my work and I therefore can't afford to give them. I try to always treat the nanny in the manner in which I expect to be treated by my employer. (Although, come to think of it, I don't expect a Christmas present of any kind from my employer).

dipsie - sure you havent been a cow
(hug)

was just suprised that the nanny would leave in the middle of your ml - esp if she knows you are going back to work

it isnt easy having a mb on ml - the kids play up, you kinda feel you are being watched - though i do excalty what i would whether mb there or no - she even gave me db lappy to use as she was using her lappy when kids asleep ( take note 5candles)

hope you find a new nanny soon - most LOVE having a new baby as well as toddler/older

regards to xmas bonus - wahtever job i have been in i have always had a weeks wages and a nice pressy from kids