Nanny Employers....

[smellofrain]

If your nanny got pregnant, would you allow her back to work with their baby in tow?

My partner and I are planning on starting a family within the next year or so. We are trying to arrange childcare now, rather then wait till baby is here.

We both work full time, Im a nanny to a lovely family that Im really settled with and would hate to leave. Our plan (if we can make it work), would be this:

I go back to work full time after maternity leave and take the baby with me three days a week.

My partner goes back to work four days a week, and has the baby on his own for one day week.

My mum would happily look after baby on the fifth day.

So, I guess what I`m asking is, would you consider this? Allowing your nanny back full time, with baby in tow three days a week? Obviously I know I would probably have to take a slight pay increase, and that I really need to talk to MY employers as well but thought I would get some other opinions from other nanny employers too

Thanks in advance!

I am an ex-nanny employer and I wouldn't have let you come back with a baby because my boys are older (now 10 and 7) and although I think they might initially welcome the distraction of a baby, the novelty would wear off very quickly! We did not live in our current house when they were babies/toddlers so it is not baby-friendly and I am not interested in putting up stairgates, cupboard locks etc for another baby. Finally, the boys have the usual after-school activities and homework and it can be a bit manic - I know our last nanny was busy, busy on a couple of days of the week so I don't think she would have had any time to devote to a baby - hers or anyone elses! If you find a family with younger children who already have a baby-proof house, you will probably have a better of chance of getting a job with a baby of your own.

Thanks for that annh, that is one of the things I have taken into consideration, the family I work for have young children, and (hopefully) by the time I do have a baby the youngest would be about three, so maybe that would work?

One of my good friends has just (well in April) gone back with her baby... she works 4 days and her baby goes with her for 3

I have no intentions of having a baby anytime soon but my bosses have made it crystal clear to me that if i had a baby i would be welcomed back with the baby all the time!

I know of a few other nannies who take their own children to work with them as well

i think it all depends on your bosses really

Difficult to say. I would prefer not to but if it was the only way of keeping a good nanny I might feel I had to consider it.

When I recruited my nanny earlier this year I was having trouble finding someone and several candidates were asking about bringing a child with them. I was dead against it partly because I work from home, but a search looking for threads on this confirmed that I was doing the right thing by refusing.

Lots of negative experiences came up I'm afraid. Plus logistical issues like baby equipment, different in routines and day structure, transporting children, need for double buggy, car seat issues, highchair issues, naps for baby at our house, the list goes on and on. So no, unless I absolutely had to, I would not.

I remember when I got to the stage where I was desperate and felt I must consider it, a nanny applied who had a child exactly the same age as DS, so I thought I'd meet with her and see. I asked her what was surely an obvious question, 'What kind of issues do you see arising from bringing your child to work and how do you propose resolving those?' Her answer was 'no issues'. I pressed her and prompted her about out and about with two babies. Her response was 'well I suppose we'd just need a double buggy'. Er, and am I supposed to fork out for a huge buggy and keep it parked in my hallway as well as DS's single one? He attitude irritated me as she hadn't given a thought to it at all.

You'll need to explore it with your employer, but be prepared with all the potential issues and provide your solutions, that will make it easier.

many of my friends are mums as well as nannies and all have managed to go back to work after their 1st baby, one after having 2nd child and took both to work

it depends on the family, what age children they have

maybe mention to your mb that a friend is pregnant and is going back and see what her views are

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=childminders_nannies_au_pairs_etc&threadid=473170-so-against-all-my-bet ter-judgement-see-earlier-threads-i#9556088Here just did a search and found the thread I started when considering the nanny with baby, loads on there about issues I would have needed to consider, therefore issues your boss will need to consider - make sure you are prepared with answers to all those.

It would depend on the nanny, we had one who could just about cope with my three, her baby would have pushed her over the edge. She wasn't the most attentive, switched on girl anyway and I fully expect her to struggle with motherhood, no way was I going to rely on her coming bak after maternity leave, but she didn't need to work either so much as she might claim she was going to return I knew damn well she wouldn't.

I would consider it, if it came with a pay cut. I would not consider it for the existing rate. And any equipment needed at my house for your baby (i.e. high chair, stair gate, etc.) you would need to provide.

How long have you worked for this family? And when do you plan to tell them about your plan?

Ive worked for them for over a now.Im going to tell them during our weekly chat on Friday, I know that actually having the baby around won`t be for a long time yet, but would like to prepared in advance!

Really you're going to tell them on Friday? But you're planning on starting to try for a family in 'the next year or so'. Even if you are lucky enough to be the rare couple that conceives immediately, there will then be 9 months of pregnancy then presumably you will take some maternity leave before coming back.

That's potentially a long time in the future before this is even an issue and I think asking them whether they'd allow it now is a bit too hypothetical really. Who knows what situation you will all be in by then? What if they say no, will it change anything? Will you look for a new job?

Why tell them now? You may not even be in the job by the time you are actually pregnant. I'd avoid telling them until you have your 12 Week scan.

I agree with Nick and Flowery. You have everything to lose and nothing to gain by dropping that bomb now. It isn't going to change your plan. I mean if they sayno that's not cool you are very unlikely (I assume) to not have kids because it wouldn't jive with existing employer. But, telling them now might prompt them to get rid of you when they otherwise wouldn't have. For example, if you work for them for two years and then they let you go, you will get redundancy pay so they might think hmmm she's leaving anyway I think I'll terminate the employment now so I don't have to pay that.

I would not tell my employer that I was pregnant until such time that I thought I was showing and he/she might notice before I tell them. So, Nick's idea of after the 12 week scan is about right.

i personally wouldnt tell your employers at the moment

you arent trying yet, and even when you do you might not get pregnant striaght away

as i said before, mention a friend is pregnant, and see what she says - and then you will have her point of view

nick - you dont have this problem

I've employed two nannies who got pregnant. My relationship with the first nanny had run its course so I said she couldn't bring her child to work with her. I would have been very happy for the second nanny to bring her child to work with her, but she chose to move out of London before baby was born. For me, it depends on the nanny.

I also think there's a difference between employing a nanny you have already who comes back to work with her child, and employing a new nanny who comes with a child. I'd be hesitant to employ someone new who brings her child to work - wouldn't rule it out, but it would be a disadvantage she'd need to be bloomin' good to overcome!

But I wouldn't mention it to your current employer yet. Wait till you are PG.

I am a nanny and take my daughter to work with me! Now into my 6th week (having spent at least a day a week with the family for the previous 6 weeks) and so far so good - My daughter is now 5months and their daughter is 9 months - We go to music class on a Monday, Library rhyme time most Tuesdays and Baby groups on Wed and Thursdays (still looking for something to do on Friday!), we go for walks, feed the ducks etc too. They also have a 5year old who at the moment gets dropped back after school and I do tea etc, after Xmas I will be collecting him from the local primary. I suppose I ahve been lucky in a way as they have provided a double buggy and had a travel cot downstairs I can use for DD - they were also really keen on the idea of someone bringing their own child with them so that their daughter can have some company during the day - the down side is that I am on quite a low rate of pay for the area, but nowhere near as low as it would be after I had deducted childcare for my dauighter!

I think the only difference is that they knew from the beginning I was bringing my daughter rather than it being introduced part way through! I spoke to many agencies about jobs taking my daughter and all were very positive, I also had about 6 replies to my gumtree ad, some offering more money too! So you could always get another job if you couldn't stay there - Have to say at baby/postnatal group etc there are several people that have said they wished they had met me earlier as are looking for a nanny and would love them to have a child of the same age!

Good luck!

I took back my good nanny who we were happy with and has worked for us for several years.

Was OK when her dc was a baby but now a toddler it is a disadvantage.

I feel my pre-school child doesn't gain anything as her child is too young to be a real playmate and is now beginning the tantrum stage.
My child can't do some activities because of the age of her child and her child screeches at my child alot over toys etc. and it really has begun to bother me and my dh.

We have begun to really dislike having her child in our house and can't see how our children gain at all.Dislike having extra cot,pram,stairgates still up although not needed by us also.Dislike when the nanny arrives she spends time with her own child getting settled giving breakfast etc. while I try to get my older child to play with my younger so I can get out of the door to get to work in time.I am paying for her to start work at this time.

Wouldn't do it again.

I think as a nanny you have to work really hard to make this work for your employer and your own child really does have to take second place while you do the job you are paid for.Your employer will be watching for this quite closely.Remember your own employer is employing you because they can't take their own children to work so you are in a very good situation if they accept this.

I would also say that it may all not work out even though it seems OK at the beginning as this is turning out to be the case for us.

I would do as Flowerybeanbag says don't say anything until much later then think very carefully about how you can make it work and whether you can really do your job as well as your employers expect of you at present.

I have recently met a few people in my area who have gone for/planning to go for a nanny with their own child because the arrangements less expensive. So, be ready for them to expect this - they are paying between 10-30% less than they might otherwise have done.

The new mums seem to like the whole "playmate for my child" idea, which I can see. I briefly considered such an arrangement myself with someone last year, but we couldn't get the preschool schedules to work (again like concrete says if they're both babies at first it might be fine but shceduling problems can emerge later on and the addition of other children can also mean it's not manageable any more.) I couldn't see how she could sustain the evening schedule of being at my place until 6.30 or later, as we often need overtime, or do early morning starts if I've got a business trip. So it's a good idea to think about some of the issues which might arise, as flowery says, and have an idea of how you might work through them.

I would not remotely consider this arrnagement with a nanny planning on a Gina Ford type nap schedule, which my child had to fit around. Overall, I think you need to really consider whether the level of flexibility a family would require from you would become irritating as well.

But I agree - don't say ANYTHING until you're actually pregnant.

I had a nanny with a child the same age as my DS, which was lovely. I loved the fact that he had some one to play with, and he could learn to share, etc. But if the child was a lot younger than my child, I wouldn't have been keen, to be honest.

I think if you made it clear that any extra equipment would be provided by YOU, they would feel better about it. I wouldn't have been keen about providing double buggies, etc.

For me it would entirely depend on how much I likes the nanny, and I would have to like her a lot to want to keep her once she had her own child. I'd also want her to take a pay cut to reflect the reduced attention that my children would get and the childcare costs of her own that she would be saving.

I think that a 3 year age gap is too much for their to be any sort of synergy, other than that the employer's children will probably stil have high chairs, changing mats etc around but probably won't be using them. I think that a new baby would curtail the activities of a 3 year old who probably doesn't need a nap. But I would consider it if I really wanted to keep you.

i wouldn't have hired a new nanny with a baby if im honest - i did have some applications from nannies plus kids but felt it would have cut into the attention they were able to give my ds (not just having two kids to look after of same age but two kids one of which was their biological child and one they were paid to look after - i worried their child would have got more attention)
but if my current nanny got pregnant i would think very seriously about it because i wouldn't want to lose her. it wouldn't be ideal at all for me but she is so good i would be willing to think about it. i think a lot depends on your current relationship with your employer. agree with those who say dont tell them now that you are thinking of getting pregnant - the employer doesn't need to know until you actually are - and those who said you can expect to be paid less (around here the going rate seems to be similar to a nanny share as technically that is sort of what you are doing)

When i had my daughter 18 years ago i returned to work as a nanny and spent 5 years taking care of another child and then then his sister. It worked very well ,and i only stopped because they moved area.
I have continued to work as nanny and have always taken my children with me . My youngest who has special needs is older now and so this is becoming a bigger problem of finding work , but what i,m saying is that all employers whom i have worked for have been more than happy to have my children with me , especially where it gave their child a ready made play mate. It s all about flexability .Most mb liked the fact that i was as mummy too, this gave me a bit more understanding when it came to the job,ie having been up all night with a screaming baby and still have to go into work.
It can be hard sometimes though , like when your child is ill and needs all your attention , and when the other child hurts yours , but you work out was of dealing with things. I have been lucky to find jobs that gave me most school holidays off so my children had time out just with me .
I wouldn't talk to your employers about it though, wait, too many things could change before you have a baby .

We had this situation. Our nanny had been with us for 7 years - DS 1 was 7 and DS2 was 3, she had been live in but moved ut when she got married, she wanted to come back and bring her baby with her but much as we adored her we didn't think it would work out well - and we would in fact have been paying for a shared nanny with her baby - so we found a place in nursery for DS2 at the school he was going to attend anyway and nanny registered as a child minder and continued looking after both childrren in the school holidays for another 4 years. She really liked this because she could carry on working but be at home with the baby too.... and she is still our very good friend and agony aunt to the boys to this day.