Have had some feedback on our AP candidate

[HarrietTheSpy]

by someone who came over when she was around. Basically, what we did was bring over the strongest candidate from a bunch we were looking at on a trial, prior to her coming back after her course finishes early next year.

I had a vague gut reaction that somehow she wasn't clicking with DD1. No real evidence as such - I guess she was just soo into the baby (and she won't be looking after her anyway) I was slightly worried. DD1 also felt it, I could tell, which doesn't help as she hasn't dealt outrageously well with the new arrival and is used to having a fun nanny (the last two were) to herself. So, we needed someone who was able to recognise I guess that it's important to be equally keen with all the children!!!

Anyway, I was having a quick chat with a friend who came round one afternoon when the AP was here. THere were a bunch of people here and it was quiet noisy. Apparently my friend said something to DD1 who didn't reply and went running off into another room. Apparently the au pair did a sort of eye rolling at my friend after this 'incident.' Said it def came across as 'what a pain' sort of thing.The girl had been here all of 48 hours. Note the friend is very nice and not one of these over critical types or hostile to the idea of an au pair in any way.

Doesn't bode well does it?? I said to DH last night we should keep interviewing - he was like: "No, I'm not investing time in that, she's fine." Went ballistic - we're interviewing until we're both happy!!

Worth noting - other people really liked her. Her plus points are/were quiet, well educated, seemed well-mannered (followed up with some nice pictures on line and a thank you.) She was definitely the most charming person we dealt with in the run up to deciding. Her role would be to look after DD1 for three hours after school - taking her to activities, playdates etc.

I smell a potential problem. Should I just go with my instinct???? Am i being unreasonable???

I think it's always best to go with your instinct, you'll regret it later otherwise, if it goes bad.

On the other hand, eye rolling might have been as a result of social awkwardness, rather than dislike of your DD.

I am nanny to three adorable children, and their mother and I often our roll eyes at each other when one of the children is being particularly 'charming'. Doesn't mean we don't both adore them, just 'what you do' sometimes.

nope,...go with your gut instinct Harriet.
If you're not completely happy at the very beginning, you will spot a million problems from the word go.
I'm sure the eye rolling doesn't mean anything btw, she probably thought she was being friendly to your friend, I'm placing importance on your gut reaction.

I always go with gut instinct, I have rejected some who if pushed I couldn't actually tell you why I rejected them, I just did.

Verdict on eye rolling is really it's no biggie?

Also said to me: She's so cute...when she's asleep

Was really the tone. And at Waitrose she had to stay with both them in the queue when I ran off to get bread. Got back after literally thirty-seconds. DD1 had run off towards the door. AP cool, calm and collected, doing ntohing but letting me know. Would you really prioritise paying for green beans over making sure you knew where a child was?

Am I making too big a deal out of these incidents???

as a nanny there are many a time where I've shared a 'kids eh?' eye roll with a parent however, I think gut reaction is a powerful thing, I myself have turned down jobs that on paper have looked perfect but something just hasn't quite clicked.
If you're not sure about her now, I don't it bodes well for the future.
Just my opinion sorry if I've said too much!

I wouldn't consider her as she hasn't clicked with your dd and isn't giving off "I can get along with children really well even when they are not on their best behaviour" signals. My first ap thought that children (even 3 and 5 year olds) should do as they were told the first time 100% of the time and from what she told me of her time with her first family, she should not, ever, have had sole care of that 3 year old child let alone for most of the week for 5 months. CAT me if you want a few examples of her child minding behaviour. My two are teenagers and so able to stick up for themselves when she behaved pettily towards them and I was almost always here when they were home anyway.

go with your instinct. you will not regret it. i speak from bitter and expensive experience. and don't let DH decide for you. again i speak from bitter and expensive experience. there will be someone who feels 'right' good luck!