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9 replies

Cupofteaplease · 29/10/2008 12:32

OK, this is very trivial, but if I don't know anyone with an AP in RL, so I need to have a little maon here to ppl who may sympathise a little! Sometimes, having someone live in your house can be a real test of your patience and dimplomacy, I feel.

I have a big essay due next week (and I know I'm wasting time on MN now, but hey ho!) Today and tomorrow are my study days to crack on with it. My fabulous childminder knows this, and knows that the dc won't leave me alone to work when I am home. She also knows that it's half term so any activities which the AP would usually take them to are closed this week. Knowing all this, she very kindly offered to have the dc an hour earlier today (for free) and provide them and AP with some lunch, to give me a little more time to myself. She is doing the same tomorrow by taking them all (incl AP) swimming and to McDonalds- she really is very lovely.

AP knew of this, and I reminded her again when she started work at 8.30 this morning. I suggested activities such as play dough to do until then. At 10.45 I went downstairs for a much-needed cup of tea, and they were all just watching Cbeebies, clearly they had been doing this all morning. So I asked, to make better use of AP's time, if she would put the girls' laundery away (which she was asked to do on Monday, and didn't do) and wash up the breakfast dishes (a daily chore of hers-she's never done it). She said that was fine, and I reminded her she had an hour to do it before leaving for CM's at 11.45

11.30 comes around and she has finished putting laundery away with dc's help. 'Oh good' I think, she has just enough time to do the washing up...

AP comes to me and says, 'would you mind watching the children, I need to wash my hair'. By this point, I'm clock watching, very aware that the CM will have lunch ready in half an hour. I say yes, but be quick, for the aforementioned reason (bearing in mind she had the bathroom to herself from 7.15 to 8.30 in which time she could've washed her hair).

So she washes her hair, then disappears in to her bedroom with dd1. dd1 emerges with her face made up (cream, blusher, lipstick, perfume), I don't mind this, at least they were having fun together, but by this time it's 11.50. I remind AP of their plans. 'Oh, is that the time?'!

So by now I am racing to get the girls in their coats and hats and dd2 in her buggy, whilst AP gets changed agian. They ended up leaving at gone 12.

So now my lovely CM, who was doing me a favour, has been made to wait for lunch until they get there. It's not far, but I can't abide lateness and think it says to the host that your time is more important than theirs. Or am I thinking into this too much? Should I care that they are late?

I know she was only faffing with her appearance because she is going out this afternoon and evening- but shouldn't she do this on her own time?

Oh, and of course, the breakfast dishes are still in the sink

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Cupofteaplease · 29/10/2008 12:32

Oops, I forgot to give this a title!

OP posts:
pumpkinscantdancethetango · 29/10/2008 12:36

shes taking the piss! Is she normally like this?

NumberFour · 29/10/2008 12:48

Yow! I would be highly irritated with her. Asking you to look after the kids while she is supposed to? Not doing th dishes every morning when she is supposed to? Watching tv when she has been told what activity to engage the children in?

Yikes, even if I was not as premenstrual as I am now I would be highly p*ssedd off.

(Your CM would be delighted to know how highly you think of her )

Cupofteaplease · 29/10/2008 14:00

She is often like this. She is a sweet girl, funny and good-natured and the dc love her to bits, but she seems to work to her own agenda. Which is great when she has free time and is happy to sort herself out, but is slightly irritating when you set her tasks to do and she only does them when you are watching her do them- by which time you could have done them yourself several times over...

OP posts:
whooosh · 29/10/2008 14:07

Think maybe you need to have " al ittle chat".
Have you written out the routines and daily duties and she is just ignoring them? In which case a serious reminder of her obligations is called for but if not then maybe a routine would help her.

Failing that I would go for a sticker chart

Cupofteaplease · 29/10/2008 14:39

Whoosh- yes she has all of her chores written out and even laminated!! She's just ignoring them... sigh!

OP posts:
whooosh · 29/10/2008 14:55

Well I guess it is a gentle reminder of what they are.....
How frustrating!

So maybe a sticker chart was a bit tongue in cheek-how about a "tick sheet" to be stuck on the fridge and each task ticked off?

If the dcs love her and you like her as a person then it is definitely worth persevering with I reckon.

Cupofteaplease · 29/10/2008 15:00

agreed whoosh

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 29/10/2008 17:30

how annoying - i also cant abide people being late - its just bad manners!!

having a tick chart sounds a good idea and maybe a gentle prod in the right direction will help with the chores

asking you to watch your own kids while she washes her hair is seriously taking the piss and you should have said no

sure your cm will understand

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