In nursery but what do i do when hes ill ???

[spiderbabymum]

I am currently hoping to go back to work 4 days per week . Working days will be 8:30 to 17:30 or later !
My ds is in a nursery . I have NO family nearby , have only lived in the area for 3 years , and my partner works away mon - friday .
My job is in healthcare ... and basically if Im not in it makes life pretty miserable for my colleagues .... and I will not be taken seriously if this happens reapeatedly ...if at all .
My worry is what happens if my lovely ds is ill . I hope this doesnt sound harsh but I would be very uneasy having to stay with him at home for most of the usual childhood illness stuff EG chickenpox. OF course If I was worried Or he was Miserable with it then I would want to be with him .

He is currently settled in nursery 2 days a week and seems to like it . I would hope to increase the nursery days ..........

But if he hs diarrhoea ETC hes excluded for 48 hours .. that would be a disaster .

I realise that a childminder is more flexible .. and that I could prehaps afford to have a nanny in my hoome for some of the extra days .

I thought I could get around the illness thing by having someone locally sort of on standby . I would rather pay someone . Has anyone any experience with this kind of thing ? or any advice .

Will I just have to bite the bullet , hire a full time nanny ... and completely change my little ones currrent routine .??? Thanks for listening .

if you hire a nanny you wont have to change the routine at all

nursarys normally will NOT care for an ill child though i think they are ok with the colds that little ones have almost constantly in the winter, so long as they arnt obviously ill

a nanny will cost you a LOT more than a nursary place though

If your child is ill, you can't expect a nursery or childminder to take them, and any decent one will exclude a child with chicken pox or other childhood illnesses for the official ammount of time. Tummy upsets are excluded for 48 hours. Childminders are not more flexible with illness, I'm afraid. Think about it this way, if you take 48 hours off for a tummy bug and send him back thats 2 days off. If you send him, and your childminder sends him back, thats two days, then the childminder gets it, so she takes two days, then her son gets it, another two days, then her other son gets it, and so on. That's why you can't send ill children to chidcare, you see...

Why would you be uneasy being at home with him. Even with a mild case of something regular like chickenpox they're pretty cranky and want their mum's (I know how difficult it is, I work full time and have 3 kids who take it in turns to be ill). I don't think there's any way round that.

MOst childminders have more than one child in their care so don't want an ill child. You could look into emergency nannies, but they're pricey and I think the last time a child wants a stranger looking after them is when they're ill.

true and it might be the same with a nanny

about a year ago my charge had a horrible stomach bug.... I have never caught one off a child before but this time i did...

so 4 year old poorly for 2 days (and me, the nanny, there looking after him).... 2 days later both myself and baby brother get it and i really was very very poorly so i was off thursday and friday (and still ill sat sun and mon (mon i dont work)...

so daddy has time off to look after baby so daddy, then mummy get the same sickness bug

so even if you have a nanny you will still need cover for if when your nanny is ill

(I am very rarely ill, never at all til this year when i had that stomach upset... a few months later my dad had a stroke and i had to be off for a few days with him, then the very next weekend i was involved in a seriouse car crash and had to take another week off... so i think in a 2 week period i worked 1 day)

Unfortunately this is probably THE thing that will cause you most anxiety in your child's early years. Childmoinders and nurseries have regulations regarding sick children and remember that, even if they didn't, when your ds is ill he won't get that 1 on 1 attention he needs in either of these environments as there are other children being cared for. Maybe a nanny woould be a good idea if you could afford it- that way your ds will also be comfortable with who he is left with if it can't be you.

It's just another of the probelsm that comes with being a working mum I'm afraid. I started a new job this time last year and both my dds had stomach bugs on and off for about 3-4 weeks in Oct and Nov and I had to take tonnes of time off. At the end of the day, it just simply couldn't be helped; I just had to bite the bullet, tend to my sick babies and just made sure that I did a good job when I got back. And I made sure I didn't go overboard on the guilt thing - it was complete PITA but the stress would only have been worse if I'd have felt mega-guilty about it. I did feel awful but I had to get over it - it's life.

As a parent, you have the right to time off from work to care for a dependent, i.e. your DS. It is up to your employer to sort out alternative cover. Yes you may feel that you are letting your team down, but your own family are your top priority.
Sending sick children to daycare (be it nursery, childminder etc) isn't a good thing to do... it can delay recovery, it spreads disease (as a heathcare worker, you know about spread of disease), and it can put many other people at risk - think about pregnant women collecting from nursery for instance.

If your son is ill, take time off. If you feel bad about it, do extra shifts once your son is better (if you can get the nursery space).

You may be lucky. Touch wood, but my son has had a remarkably illness-free life so far. I think I've taken one or two days leave to care for him when he has been unwell.

TBH and I think you won't like this but once you have children if they are ill one of you needs to be off with them. Obviously as your DH is away then it will have to be you. OK your colleagues will be a bit upset with you. But what is more important really?

Your colleagues will get over it but your dc will remember those times you cared for him when they were ill. You are a parent now and that is always going to have to be your priority.

dd2 has chicken pox.

it had taken me a whole month to negotiate alternative childcare for half term (i couldn't get time off) and she came up with spots on friday night.

honestly, it is impossible to plan. i've had nannys, i've used nurseries, i use childminders - i have an array of prefessional and 'lay' options, i've even persuaded grandparents to drive six or seven hours in an 'emergency' but really, there is no other option. you have to grit your teeth and lift the phone.

you have to do it yourself.

now where did i put the calamine lotion?

(oh sorry, and dh went away on friday until next weekend - i am living your life.)

It might not be as bad as you think, I have 3 DDs and have luckily (touch wood!) missed very little time at work because of their ill health.
You might be worrying too much about the reaction of your colleagues. They should understand that this is part of being a parent. Are you the only one with a baby or are there others?
I dont know about the local person on standby thing - if you know someone like that then great, but the problem is in finding a person like that who isnt already employed.
I think that probably the fear of this is worse than the actual reality. If you do start out with nursery and it doesnt work then you can switch to a nanny, or you might find that your DS is never ill .

Thank you so much for all of your helpful comments .
Nanny nick I particularly like the suggestion that I do extra shifts i exchange for taking time off . that could work ... because there will be some flexibility as some of my working days will be half days .

Agree the whole thing is a complete PITA ... and maybe my instinct is telling me that when hes ill he needs his mummy or daddy .

I hope you dont mnd but I have also posted this in the going back to work thread .... that lot over ther havent been quite as sympathetic as you lot.

Instinct's a good thing: your ds will want his mummy.

When dd1 was very little and was ill a few days in a row, dh had a scheduled day off and had arranged to play golf. As dd1 was ill, I assumed golf would be cancelled but then caught him trying to arrange for his mum to have dd so he could still play! !!

I pointed out to him (in very short words, put very succinctly) that his dd was his responsibility and that she needed her daddy. That situation has never happened again!

Once you've got over the guilt thing, it's actually quite nice in a funny sort of way, being able to provide such needed care for your little one. Once you've made sure you've got everything around you that'll you'll need, it's nice to cuddle up on the sofa with shit TV on and your LO snuggled up with you, all sleepy and beddy and wanting you.

(although not so nice when they vom on you and it's in your bra...)

Proper order Moomin . !
I like it .

Yes know what you mean ... they go all cuddley .... and like stories all of a sudden

On your other thread you mention that you are a GP. In which case, you will need to work some Saturdays and also I suspect be on-call for evenings and Sundays. The Practice would need to cover all hours they are required to under GP Contract, so I suspect if your DH is around at weekends and you don't mind working then, that your colleagues will be willing to accommodate you working more weekends than the do!

Children being ill is just one of those things you have to deal with as a working parent. I think the key to not irritating your colleagues is to be as flexible as possible e.g if there are times when you can cover someone else who's had to cover for you, then do so. Also, if your child is in a nursery IME they tend to catch everything going for the first 6 months or so then they get much hardier. My dd1 hasn't had time off nursery in over a year (she's 3). So it'll be hell on earth for a while probably but it will pass.

I have been flexible in the past, as parents kept on saying how difficult it was to get off work etc. and I felt bad for them... then I got sick myself and had to have 2 (unpaid!!!) days off... which didn't help either of us. I then became stricter. I also have other kids in my care now, so their health and wellbeing comes first.

Kids do get sick. And they need to be home with mum/dad... they don't want to be out of their own bed anyway when ill. And us CMs, even though we are first aid etc. trained.. are NOT nurses.. so it is unfair to send sick kids to us.

This is part and parcel of being a parent I am afraid.

Ive been in that situation before too, Jennipenni, i had one that would be sent after being sick in the night and the parents wouldnt tell me, I spent several weekends being sick due to that!!! Not fun. I understand it's difficult, I always feel horrendously guilty if i have to cancel for whatever reason, but sometimes that has to be done, and at the end of the day, your own kids are more important than any job! Also the people who complanin about you taking time off at work will also be the ones raising an eyebrow at you sending "poor little ill ds" to chidlcare, so you wont win probably!