terrible payment muddle, please advise!

[whatamuddle]

have changed my name, just in case.

Lovely CM, all going really well, though she's had some time off and because we've not adjusted payments, she 'owes' me several days work which she's now working off gradually by doing a few extra hours each week: all fine, happy with that.

My work gives me a contribution towards childcare costs, and because of me being inefficient etc. they have paid 9 months in a block, which comes to about £800. I have just discovered, after ENDLESS pestering, that they sent cheques for a total of £800 straight to CM, without telling me (though I asked them to), without a proper covering note giving my/child's name back in AUGUST. CM has said NOTHING to me about this.

I'm seeing her for the first time this afternoon since this all came to light, and I really don't know what to do. She effectively now owes me 2 months pay, and I don't know how to manage this. I'm very upset about it all, because I feel my work has put me in an impossible position, and that a good relationship will be threatened by this mess.

CMs (or other mums!), what would you want a parent to do in these circumstances? How can we resolve this situation? I can't write this money off, it's only partly grant, and I pay tax on it, AND to add insult to injury they've over-paid me and I have to give some back...

whatamuddle "My work gives me a contribution towards childcare costs, and because of me being inefficient etc. they have paid 9 months in a block, which comes to about £800. I have just discovered, after ENDLESS pestering, that they sent cheques for a total of £800 straight to CM, without telling me (though I asked them to), without a proper covering note giving my/child's name back in AUGUST. CM has said NOTHING to me about this.

I'm seeing her for the first time this afternoon since this all came to light,"

You did't actually say that the cheque had been paid over 2 months ago, so hard to know what you meant - hence my earlier post.

As this is the case then yes by all means ask about it ASAP and demand it back or no fees due for 2 months, which would you rather anyway? Would help if you had at least 2 scenarios to put to the CM as yes in 2 months it was probably spent by now.

I'd also chase up and see exactly who cashed it too just in case the CM does know nothing about it and that's why nothing was said

i appears i'm a CM who also can't spell

ok I read it properly now, blame the 5mo on my knee!

Well I'm a CM who can't read, so what a pair we make

lots of responses suddenly: thank you.

I'm going to talk to her later, when I get DS, so hopefully all will be sorted out. I just want to make it clear that whilst I'm confused about how/why she cashed the cheque without working out exactly who it came from, I've got NO reason to think that she wanted to cheat me out of the money, and I'm sure we'll find a way round this.

CMs, is it ok to say it's her choice, pay me the money back and I'll go on paying her as normal; or I won't pay her anything till the debt is paid off? Or do I need to work something complicated out with half-pay or whatever over a long time (which for lots of reasons I'd rather not do)?

I would not offer half payments, I would offer two options, either she pays you the £800 back and you continue paying her however you normally do or, you cease payments until £800 has passed.

I agree with Sammy, either pays you back asap or you don't pay her.

What works best for you?

Well! All seems to be sorted out, and she'll give me a cheque for the whole amount tomorrow. Money arrived when we were on holiday, then her DH paid the money in without telling her, she got distracted by terrible family troubles, I didn't remind her (didn't know), time passed... So I'm happy, and I hope she is too.
Thank you everyone for advice, and I'm really grateful for the support in saying that whatever had gone wrong, it wasn't my fault. I'm just relieved to have this sorted!

glad you got it sorted chick, she sounds nice but like you say scatty and possibly releived you 'found out'!

fair enough she is scatty and you "didn't remind her" but surely the fact you were still paying would have jolted her memory??

Hope the cheque clears ok, I'd have asked for an internet bank transfer I think untrusting soul I am!

The only way to deal with this is OPEN COMMUNICATION. You have just discovered this, so need to chat with her asap.

I am a cm and know where all my monies come from, it's my business to know... and would certainly not spend £800 that came out of thin air, unless it was lottery money

Good luck! Let us know what she says/does!

Did you get your check whatamuddle? did it make a boinging sound when you took it? sorry!

yes, got the cheque, paid it in on Thursday (over the counter so I knew it'd be dealt with quickly) and haven't heard anything since - must check it's cleared ok (though the bank is normally v quick to say when there's a problem).

Really, she's a great childminder, and SO lovely with DC. Scatty, very scatty, but then she has a huge and complicated family, and I'd be just the same in those circumstances. Still find the fact she forgot to tell me about the money a bit odd, but I'm not going to go dwelling on that when she and her family are so lovely with DC. I think we're really lucky to have her, and I'm just glad all this is sorted out.