CM CLUB: MIndees having tantrums...at home time ..just for parents??

[PinkChick]

Ive had this with older 3-4 yr old but 20 month old is really hitting terrible two's (according to mum, shes angelic for me)
But really feel for mum, mindee showed her tentrum last night at pick up..her face changed she looked really angry and frowning then literally threw herself down on my flooring as mum walked in!..she was so angry and crying and unconsolable, wanting mum then not wanting mum?

I suggested to very sad mum to ignore her..i stepped over her and suggested mum do same and said watch shell come straight in after us...and she did..but continued with crying and throwing herself?.my dd never did this so couldnt really suggest anything lese other than to ignore, walk away (safe distance) and if she lashes out, which she was doing to gran etc, i said to 'overly' fuss the other person even if it adult, cuddle them say animatedly "ooh are you ok x?, you are such a nice gran, here have a nice big cuddle etc" and to ignore mindees shouting/crying and shell soon get the picture, but at this age..will she?..and if anyone else can suggest anything for me to pass on im sure she would really appreciate it.
TIA
pinky.x

Have 19 month old mindee and she's done this on occasion yet is fine for me also. Totally normal to be like this with parents, just like we see in the 3/4 yr olds. I reckon what you've suggested is all you/they can do really but will watch in case any tips are shared on here x

I think its a good idea to have a home time routine,just like you have a bed time routine with your own children. So the last hour with you is building up to home time. For example they could discuss with you what has happened during the day as you write it in their diary. Then they could go to the loo/have their nappy changed. Lastly you could put their shoes on.

I think its best to have a quick handover if they're feeling tired. Put as much info in the diary, if you need to speak, phone later.

This all works for me.

well today i asked mindee if she was going to be nice to mummy tonight and she said NO!!!!..but 5 mins before mum came i had her up singing and dancing to nursery rhymes and 2 mins before mum came i gave her a little toy id bought her same as one my dd has so as door went i said "ooh x, go show mummy your present"..and she went all smily..fingers crossed..mum was very happy and mindee had had a better sleep today so i think that helped

thanks for advice girls

Glad all went well.

ANother vote for quick handovers.

Also - if still inside, my house = my rules :'In Baldy's house we speak nicely don't we?' yaddda yadda

(Had a grim week, paperwork tomorrow. Deep joy)

yeah im more assertive with them (parents as well LOL0 tonight boy mindee was kicking new pots we'd just planted, so i said x, dont do that..x didnt stop..mum stood watching!..X STOP DOING THAT NOW!WE'VE JUST PLANTED THEM, YOU WILL BREAK IT!..soon stopped

thing is, babies mum, i like and adore baby mindee so we do chat for 10 mins, normally baby is fine, just yesterday!, hopefully we've cracked it!..now were did i put my purse to buy more pressy's

Oh do you have The Voice too?

It's not shouty, just LOUD and FIRM.

Bless 'em.

ooh i do, i do..and the eye brows LOL

Ah yes the eyebrows.

You have made me lol tonight

I have, what my dh calls, The Look! I have a different Look for adults and children, but it means the same thing and is a 'don't mess with me' look!

I had a mindee push over a baby the other day while parent still here. I just walked over moved mindee and sat them down away from baby and toys and comforted baby. Then told mindee who was sitting to say bye to mummy and he kicked off. She went to the door and mindee ran after her screaming. Felt mean but just shut the door and said mummy has gone to work. Then we went and said sorry to baby and had cuddles and all was ok. But I was really worried that mum would not appreciate me disciplining while she was there so mentioned it to her when she collected. She said she was very pleased I had done it and how very diffrent mindee was for me than for her as mindee did what I said without making a fuss (until having to say bye) but for her it is all screaming and shouting!

Coincidentally, this is same mindee who plays up when it's time to go home. Had lots of tantrums and not leaving when mum asked. We did as you said PC and just ignored and they soon realise they are not getting attention and stop!

LOL Ju i have so many lines in my forhead since having dd/becoming a cm i look 10 years older LOL

DP ALSO quite rightly knows THE LOOK and i used it on him a few months ago when builder was here and dp was about to give in and pay..he got THE LOOK and later was all child like saying why did you look at me like that, i felt like id done something wrong and felt like a kid again LOL..it worked though!..he stpped talking and let me argue with builder

Used to use it on him more..you would here him cowering in corner saying dont look at me with those eyes

Yeah SB you HAVE to be like this, i was soft at first and got my house/toys trashed and dd hit and pushed..soon put a stop to that!..mindee who was kicking pot last night is the main one i have to 'give the eyes too' at home/drop off time, they all test it when mum/dad are there!..and mindee who was here late last night, HAS to be constantly reminded NOT to start jumping all over me/furniture when OTHER aprents come!..goes in one ear and out other, she did it last night so i sat her down while i was saying goodbye to baby mindee and came back in, spoke to her AGAIN and told her she now had to sit quietly and choose a book for 5 minutes to show me she CAN listen to me..seemed to work...wait till enxt time

Well the late mmindee last night had diarhea from getting in from school till home time!..mum 'didnt get my message'!, so didnt come until arranged!..'apparently' shes fine today and its my fault for being soft and not saying no, not for 24-48 hours..but only dropped her off at school, thats it, not collecting..then pot kicking mindee comes this morn...he ate something 'iffy' with mum last night and theyve both been sick!..didnt know if to say no or what as its not contageous is it??..but said if he does throw up again, she WOULD have to collect him..phew..thatnk god its friday!.x