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Childminders Club: Initial Interviews.......(rant)

53 replies

KatieMac · 01/03/2005 22:08

I've got one tomorrow....I hate them
I get flustered, I forget things, I get confused

I write everything down and use that lovely list of questions from Alibubbles - but I feel out of control and I don't like it (maybe there is a reason I work with 2y olds - I have the power )

I know I'm competant - but feel that I come accross as a egotistical, controlling dictator (I am - but don't think prospective parents need to know this....)

I feel defensive asking for Bank holidays & holiday pay & money up front - but I know I'm within my rights

So I've said all that and do I feel any better - no I'm just as insecure

OP posts:
KatieMac · 02/03/2005 18:56


Post Offices
Health Visitors
Dr Surgery
Village noticeboards
Church Noticeboards
School & Nursery Noticeboards
Parish Magazines

To start with

OP posts:
RTKangaMummy · 02/03/2005 19:07

No actually I don't only if fees go up IYSWIM

KatieMac · 03/03/2005 18:08

They signed and start on Monday

OP posts:
RTKangaMummy · 03/03/2005 18:10

deffo brill KMc

blodwen · 03/03/2005 19:22

Congratulations! Monday! That's a quick start. Settling in or straight in?

MunchedTooManyMarsLady · 03/03/2005 19:42

brilliant news

KatieMac · 03/03/2005 19:57

Starting straight away.....had the child on Wed from 9 til 2 as settling in (aparently) and the baby "will be fine" but as DH says it's only for 4 hrs...even if she screams for all 4 hrs

4 weeks trial - with no notice - money up front

& I added in a clause of £20 if they are late paying

OP posts:
blodwen · 03/03/2005 20:05

Well done You

RTKangaMummy · 03/03/2005 20:27

like the clause

Xena · 03/03/2005 20:31

Hi Guys could I hijack this thread for some advice about one of my mindee children?

KatieMac · 04/03/2005 07:31

No problem Xena - hijack away or start a new thread if you'd rather.....we'll interfear (sorry reply) whichever......we have been known to be a bit opinionated - so don't take us too seriously

Catch you soon

OP posts:
Xena · 04/03/2005 10:07

Thanks KMc I wanted to start another thread but couldn't work out how to get a chilminders club one.

Am currently minding 4 children plus my own 3 ages 7mths- 9. Since christmas have had little girl nearly 5 just started school everyday 8-6 holidays etc. Great I thought for once a child who takes up a whole space. But she is so unsettled first she was messing herself here and at school and now daily wets. Always tired, when she goes home she stays up and watchs 2/3 videos. Doesn't eat her lunch at school and I feel I have to sit and encouragh her to eat each mouthful of dinner she eats (she can take up to 40mins longer than everyone else) Have tried talking to the parents but am getting no where. They haven't even given me any spare clothes I regularly have to ask them for My DD's clothes underwear back e.t.c. Her dad gets cross with her. Her mum says nothing. I feel really sorry for her as she is obviously upset by the changes that have happened i.e. new school her mums job takes her everywhere so she see her less and less. She is very clingy to me and half the time would rather stay here than go home. I don't think any physical etc abuse is happening at home. They also have no idea or care how its impacting me. I had a parents evening appointment for DS last night at 6.20 and they turned up to pick her up at gone 6.10
My mum works for NCMA and she suggested I join a network to get some support.

KatieMac · 04/03/2005 11:33

Xena easy stuff first....

We just type in Childminder's Club: at the start of the title

I'm in a network and I find it invaluble. I would always advise C/Mers to join one (if there is one in thier area)

About your little Mindee, it's difficult.....I'll have a think and get back to you.

The others may have some good ideas.....

Catch you later

OP posts:
RTKangaMummy · 04/03/2005 11:40

Xena welcome

WOW that is a hard one

What does she say about life at home?

Is she frightened of her dad?

perhaps you could buy some clothes cheaply and then charge them for them

That may make them think about providing spare clothes

What are the school saying about her

Is she concentrating? Prob not if not eating.

Will carry on thinking if come up with other ideas

Xena · 04/03/2005 12:09

Thanks KMc and RTKM. I don't think that she is frightened of her Dad, just prefers her mum's soft touch. Although don't really agree with Dad being cross about mess/wet, its hard to know what is best. She doesn't tell the teachers if she is wet etc she comes out and tells me. they have smelt the mess before and changed her . She seems to have friends at school. But I have noticed here how she doesn't join in with the others and would rather follow me or sit on her own. It is strange because she has know 2 of my other mindees for ages because she is their neighbour. The others don't leave her out or anything like that, they used to try to include her but they have kind of given up.

RTKangaMummy · 04/03/2005 12:15

She doesn't tell the teachers if she is wet etc she comes out and tells me. they have smelt the mess before and changed her

Am confused do you mean she is wet at school and no one notices

She spends all day there and only when she comes out at 3.15 she tells you

Xena · 04/03/2005 13:04

Yes They don't notice and she has been soaked before (she has jobshare teachers who don't communicate very well 1 understands the problem ). We were still by the teacher the other day (mon I think) when she came out and told me, and so I asked the teacher if she had told her and the teacher said no, the TA appeared and cross questioned x and told me that she had been to the toilet no less than 8 times during class. I told them that this was a daily occurance (i haven't before as I don't think its my place) that she was almost always wet when we get home. And x piped up that yesterday Mr H hadn't let ther go to the toilet and thats why she did it then and the TA said that he didn't let her go beacuse she had gone 10/15 mins before.

RTKangaMummy · 04/03/2005 13:07

for X

she doesn't have urine infection does she?

She is 5 years old isn't she?

Xena · 04/03/2005 13:14

Yes she will be next week. I feel that no one cares about except me (I don't think I am being melodramatic either)(saying that the teachers really shouldn't be blamed I don't think that they really understand). I suggested the urine infection to her Dad last night because can cause tiredness as well. I am hoping that a trip to the doctors could end in the doctor telling them a few home truths.

Xena · 04/03/2005 13:15

sorry should read no one cares about her

RTKangaMummy · 04/03/2005 13:34

Is she only child?

In a way it sounds a bit like you ought to talk to Ofsted cos she could be being neglected slightly

Does she seem cared for?

Clothes hair etc. not underweight. {I know you said she takes ages to eat}

Does it seem anyone spends any time with her or she she sent to her room to watch tv until she falls asleep?

I think this is very sad

How talkative is she?

Does she say what happened at weekend etc.?
I don't mean you should pry into the family business

but in general chit chat.

Xena · 04/03/2005 13:45

She has an older sister who is 13 (V) and should have include her when I said no one cares about her except me because she does and x adores her. V tries to brib x to stay dry. yes she seems physical well cared for. No one spends time with her M works on a sunday and she is allowed downstairs to watch the TV but no one reads with her, she has shown me her reading book (the one parents/teacher comment in) and the comments from home are few and far between and they always say she was too tired.
I think the thing about neglect is what is hard because I think she is emotionally neglected and I have taken over as her main carer.


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KatieMac · 04/03/2005 14:40

I'm sorry I haven't been around (childminding - you know)

I'm thinking urine infection and Dr's appointment is necessary.

I would talk to the teacher 'as another proffessional' that you are concerned and could you'work together' over the wetting issues (I'm assuming just wet - not messing too)

I wouldn't contact OFSTED yet - but maybe HV (do you have the same one?) or the school nurse...kind of unofficially.

I did this with a child and was asked to ring Social Services as there was already an open file. So you don't know if there are already concerns.

I would try to talk to the mum about the wetting and see if you can get her to talk to the dad about his anger.

And finally I would talk to them about the late issue.

But remember you can't do it all....aim to do one thing a week or even one a fortnight. Don't dive in to all issues at the same time. Pick one and disscuss it, find a solution and work towards it. When that is on it's way to resolution work on the next one.

You are not a miracle worker, take it a bit at a time.

OP posts:
blodwen · 04/03/2005 18:06

I think I would talk to her mum about this too, maybe on the phone. I would also speak to her teacher. Has she been going to the loo 8-9 times a day since she started school, or is it recent? I really think, at this young age, the TA should check if she's wet or not, and change her if necessary. If she is smelling of wee, the other children will probably start teasing her. If they (teachers)realise how often it's happening, maybe they will speak to the parents? It's very tough on you, emotionally.

Xena · 04/03/2005 20:18

I talked to the teacher after school today because x had told me she was wet when she came out. But they were v unhelpfull and said that she is able to go anytime she likes and she must have done it just then because they were in the hall before and they would have noticed if she was wet. Am going to try and take it slowly encourage her loads etc. Am really hoping that they will take her to the doctors.

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