APs and family holidays

[Bettyboobird]

Do you include (and pay for) your AP in your family holiday.

We are just beginning to look at booking our summer hols for beginning of July-she is planning on staying til end of July, but is flexible ATM about staying on longer (although IMO that's too far ahead for her to decide now.)

Should we include her? We would have to pay as she only brought £50 with her and has already spent that on clothes, so the only money she has is what we give her in pocket money. Depending on where we decide to go, it could restrict things quite a lot financially if she came, but I don't like to think of her home alone for a fortnight.

What is the norm?

Last Summer we took our 17yr summer Ap to Cyprus to stay at The Almyra, she shared a suite with the DC next to ours (connecting doors).

It was pricey, but the plan was I would get some time off in the spa and sunbathing as she played with the DC for a bit and she got a suntan on her time off. BUT DS was poorly with a chest infection for most of the hols so didn't want to be with her, so she got a fab suntan whilst I stayed in the room with the poorly DC!

She ate with the DC in the pm, leaving DH and I to have romantic beachfront meals in a child free environment.

This year we left our Summer AP at home and I so wish we had taken her. With DS being 4 we hoped to put him in the really good children's club at Kinderhotels (so much cheaper holiday than last year, taking AP would not have been a problem) DS hated the children's club and either myself or DH (me mostly) looked after DS.

Call me selfish, but as a sahm I would like my summer hols to consist of something more than just looking after my children fulltime in a different environemnt. I suppose that is not so important to those of you who have a very 'hands on' DH.

I forgot to add...

Not only did we pay for the holiday, we paid her usual pocket money too and as hotel was only half board bought her lunch most days.

We also paid for her to accompany us to local attractions, the agreement being if the DC tired of looking at mosaics and architecture she would keep them entertained.

I've never taken an AP on holiday with us, mainly because we camp and there is no room in either the car or tent for them.
Even if we rented a villa or something I don't think I'd take them.
I've found it very hard work having AP's over the years. I've dedicated a lot of time to making sure they are happy, included, have everything they need. Surely I too am entitled to a holiday, a break from the norm?
Ap's usually IME, have holidays throughout the year, to visit friends, and family and not necessarily when it's that convenient. But that's fine, because you are treating them as part of the family.
What I have done is encourage the AP to invite her family to stay whilst we are away. This summer she had her mum, dad and sister here for 10 days. We still paid her as normal, gave her a generous allowance for food, filled the car with petrol and handed over the NT membership.
She had a wonderful time, much better than if she was trailing round after the us.

i know what i wrote was a little blunt - i am pregnant (again) feeling a little emotional etc. however, i have had AP's for the last 6 yrs and i hear of so many of them just turning up and being treated like a slave, no training, no family time and with little regard as to how hard it is to be young and have the responsibility of doing everything to the high standards of the family and then having no reward.
I truly appreciate that the AP might not want to come however, we took ours to disney last year and it was fabulous - we have always has AP's who want to do their own thing - we sit down at the beginning of the day and say this is what we are going to do etc. she was great for flight, looking after kids whilst we looked after the bags- she helped in the queues, looked after little one whilst we went in the pool with oldest one (otherwise one of us is always sitting with little one), she played with the kids and made herseld scare in the evening - she stayed in the parks etc.
again have taken AP's to Centerparcs and are doing so next week.
the bit about cheap labour was a pointer at all those famalies who give their AP £50 per week and nothing else, they expect them to be at their beck and call and never include them. they even buy them 'value' food because it annoys them that the AP's eat THEIR food.
BettyBoo we are the same as you with our AP's, we take them out to eat with us, pay for language school, gym membership, buy birthday presents, xmas presents etc. - we have had 7 AP's over the last 6 years - all of whom i email every week - one is a godmother to our youngest, we have stayed with all of them on more than one occasion and just think that they more you put in the more you get out of the AP - sorry if i offended anyone but that is just my opinion strong as it is at the 'hormonal' moment

Since our au pairs leave at the beginning of the summer, we have never had the issue of an au pair coming on our summer holiday.

Since we house swap for holidays the option of leaving the au pair at home is not one we can take. If we go on holiday during the time that the AP is with us we offer her the option of coming with us or going off on her own.

Last year we went to Edinburgh for the new year and the AP came with us because she wanted to. We shared a house, we did things together and separately, she baby sat for us once, I babysat while she, DS1 and DH went to Princes Street on NYE. I think we did things fairly and she enjoyed herself.

We are doing the same thing this year and the AP will either come with us or extend her Christmas holiday at home, she has not decided yet.

Springer I totally appreciate your hormones making you blunt
However in all honesty, I really don't think there are posters on here who hand over £50 and expect brilliance in return.
There are posters on here though, who can barely afford disney for themselves let alone the AP.

Ingles truly appreciate this and i guess we are lucky in both respects being able to afford and good AP's -
i think i will refrain from passing judgement until hormones have calmed down :0