Struggling to find a nanny *rant*

[runikka]

Good evening

I thought I'd pop back in here as everyone was so helpful with my initial nanny search. We have put in an advert on gumtree, nannyjob.co.uk and listed with snap childcare. We have now had quite a few responses and got to the point where we have met two potentials BUT

we have contacted a LOT of people from their CV and had not response

OR

had initial really good communication to the point where we are about to agree a meeting with the potential nanny only to never hear from the people again. We have sent follow up e-mails just asking for the person to clarify whether they are interested but no response

AND

the ones we did meet were both really good but turned us down.

Where are we going wrong? Too keen?

Many thanks
Kirsty

Kirsty where abouts are you maybe there might be local MN'r that could help!

Kirsty what are you looking for ? Post a copy of your advert here and we will give constructive feedback.

MP

How much time between emails are you giving them/expecting them to reply?

Personally I think it is so rude never to reply to people, even if it is a quick thankyou, but, no longer looking.

wish you lived near me (do you? Oxford area?) as my lovely nanny is without a job any more and keeps being let down by people interviewing, offering a job and then pulling out.

Why did the people who turned you down turn you down? That seems the only chance to get feedback. but I wouldn't worry - rant, yes, but wouldn't worry I was not good enough or whatever - recruitment is just like this tbh.

Hmm, nothing valuable to offer really other than that this is a problem for nannies too, ie when the parents don't email back, hopefully you'll find someone soon!

Wow, many thanks for your prompt replies We are in Ashington, West Sussex and it seems the most common offputting thing is that we are quite rural. That said we are only six miles from a mainline station to London but we do live in a one pub, village shop location :D

We have given maybe 2-3 days between e-mails and I was worried that we might seem overly keen...but I guess I have been under the impression that if someone seems good they'll get taken on quickly.

Anyhow, this isn't our main advert but gives the more info brief that we tend to reply to any enquiries with:

We are parents to D, aged 3.5yrs and R, aged 2. D is diagnosed on the autistic spectrum but on the whole is a happy natured
little boy, affectionate and smiley. R is our bubbly bundle of
cheekiness and a very loveable little girl. At the moment, D attends day nursery three days a week and a special need school in
Horsham for one day a week. R attends nursery for two mornings and also goes to a childminder. We are hoping to increase D
attendance at day nursery up to three days and for R to go to the local playgroup.

We are ideally looking for someone full time, either live-in or live-out, but would consider part-time if the hours fit with
afterschool cover. We are also looking for someone who wouldn't mind an
occasional evenings babysitting or the odd half day at the weekend.
A typical day might include:

Collection of both children from respective daycare placements
General childcare until teatime at home
Preparation of childrens meals
General tidy up of toys/playroom
Taking care of childrens' laundry and ironing
Getting both children ready for bed
Taking children out to places of interest.

We are also starting ABA tutoring with D so we would encourage
involvement in some of his lessons, learning the basics to be able to
assist him through play. As mentioned he is generally happy and good
natured, however, he does get distressed by other children from time to
time (screaming/crying/tantrums) which can lead to his own meltdowns.
Rebecca does set him off and you would need to be able to pacify both
and remain calm. Please be assured these moments are generally no worse
than your average toddler tantrum but it just needs someone who will
appreciate he is autistic and therefore he thinks/reacts a little differently in everyday situations!

We would prefer someone who can drive and have use of their own car, just for having the facility to
get D from school (we would hope for school transport but are
awaiting confirmation from the school). However this might not be essential.

Okay, I'm glad it's not just me (although sorry to hear of your woes!!) although I'm looking for an au pair for Jan/Feb time. Exactly the same thing is happening to us. I thought the trouble was the Au Pair World situation, with everyone abroad and easier to diss us. I have gone so far as to have telephone interviews of nearly an hour, follow up emails with pics etc, and THEN the person doesn't get back to us to even say, sorry no longer interested.

Have you asked anyone to review your ad/spec? A friend just offered some feedback on ours. As a first step, I am going to edit our ad and see if this helps at all. Maybe this would work for you?

sorry x post!!

I suspect the part about autism and his tantrums is putting some people off. I am sorry if this is harsh of me to say so.

You may also find that people are in communication with lots of different people at the same time and picking and chosing.

Owning their own car might be a challenge for some people?

You sound lovely and your e-mail has a lovely warm vibe to it.

Smurfgirl,

yes you are sadly probably right. I guess we are trying to explain how the autism might affect daily life because we just cant afford to have someone start and then not be prepared. It is a shame because it is such a small part of our little boy.

agree with smurfgirl

leave the tantrums etc out of the main reply - people will tell yo uif they experience with children with asd and will know what to expect. You can ask them what their experience/expectations are.

you could be right about the rural location - "only" six miles to a mainline station is v offputting to some.

"We are also looking for someone who wouldn't mind an
occasional evenings babysitting or the odd half day at the weekend"

Rephrase: if you can babysit, or do a half day at he weekend, occassionally, it would be great - this wouldn't be part of your contract and of course we would pay extra.

Runikka
I actually think it's more that your description of the job may be too complex. I'm slightly confused about what exactly the nanny's day/week would look like. If I were you, I'd edit down the details about the other childcare placements and discuss specifics about your child's behaviour at interview (where your personality etc will come across more - agree with smurfgirl re lovely warm vibe to your comments.) Can you not say something like: We are looking for someone with experience with special needs, as D has autism?

runikka - you have quite a long way to go after you make initial contact and so whilst I agree its important to tell people about your son and the elements of his behaviour I think it might be better done when you are face to face - much easier to explain things.

I would imagine that a nanny coming to interview for a child with autism would be expecting challenging behaviour and saying he has it is enough to start off with. If that makes any sense to you

As I said I think you come across well through the e-mail, very friendly etc.

I am sorry you are struggeling.

I think your initial e-mail could be something like:

Hi we are x and x and we have two children R is 2 and D is 3.5. Both children attend daycare during the day for some of the week. D is on the autistic spectrum.

We live in x which is 10 minutes drive from a direct train to London.

You must have a full driving licence.

Pretty short and to the point and when you write it your nice than me personality can come through. But tbh the initial e-mail is just to hook people in, if they reply then you can give more details and insights into your personality etc.

Your advert is far too detailed for putting on a general recruitment site. On a specific special needs nanny type site it could work, but not for general.

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Live-Out Nanny Required - Ashington, West Sussex

We are parents to a boy aged 3.5yrs and girl aged 2. Both of our children attend part-time nursery/school.

We are looking for a live-out nanny, to work a minimum of x hours per week. Additional hours are available.

You will need to be a car driver with your own car, as you will need to collect the children from nursery/school, plus they enjoy outings to various places of interest in Surrey/Sussex/Kent.

---

I'm confused by what hours/days you are wanting. Think you need to decide if you want a full-time nanny, or a part-time and what the hours will actually be.

Given your location, I don't think Live-In would work and I think you are going to need to target ads to your locality - ideally to someone who lives within a 20 minute or so drive. Try some simple postcard ads in newsagents/general stores in local villages/town.

Your advert on NannyJob I feel needs some revision.

The pay... is that market rate for the area?
Is it Net, or Gross?

---

Part-time nanny required for two children aged 2 (girl) and 3 1/2 years (boy). Duties to include collection from school in Horsham and local playgroup and therefore car driver with own car required. Childcare and nursery duties. Days would be Mon-Thurs.

The hours, the flexibility (evenings/weekends etc) I don't feel will work. Just opt for a full-time nanny, you may find it easier to recruit. Say Hours are 8am-7pm, Mon-Thurs. Then in later correspondence you could mention that extra hours could be available if they wanted them.
With starting at 8am, they could if necessary do the run to nursery/pre-school and could then have a couple of hours in the morning to do nursery duties (general tidying, children's laundry - discuss actual duties at a later point and be prepared to compromise... some nannies won't do ironing, where as others will - don't loose an ideal candidate just because they won't do the ironing!)

Many thanks for the advise. We do have someone coming to see us tomorrow so fingers crossed she'll be interested and vice versa However, we will tone down the information in both adverts.

Arrghhhh