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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Do your dcs know that their Nanny is paid to look after them? Or do they think they are family? Or something else?

13 replies

CountessDracula · 19/09/2008 11:48

following on from this thread

I am at a loss what I should tell dd who naturally thinks her nanny is family as she has always known her.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

whooosh · 19/09/2008 13:33

We never introduced ours to anyone as DD's nanny and DD only knew her by her name.
Ours lived in and really did become a member of the family.She says she preferred it rather than being called the nanny.

However,we are now moving to an AuPair and DD is now 3.5 so we are telling her that someone new is coming to help us look after her.

I think age has a lot to do with it.

nbee84 · 19/09/2008 13:55

My oldest charge (nearly 5) was talking about work and the jobs that Mummy and Daddy do and she wanted to know what my job was and what work I do.

imananny · 19/09/2008 14:42

my 5 knows that my job is a nanny, 3yr old just assumes that if mummy/daddy go to work that I will be there to look after them

neither child thinks anything of it

in most of my jobs i have said to children, when asked what i do as work, that I look after them which is a very important job when mummy and daddy are at work, beacuse it helps them

its nice that your nanny and your dd thinks of your nanny as family, she obv does a fantastic job in looking after her

littlestarschildminding · 19/09/2008 14:47

Im a cm...so a bit different.

My ds (7) went to a friends house to play yesterday and as we left he was looking very worried and when I asked what the matter was he said "mum, you haven't paid x's mum for looking after me" bless him! We had to have a bit of a conversation that its mummy's job to look after other children so she gets paid but if we have a friend over or he goes to a friends we don't have to pay each other.

Kids are great!

mogs0 · 19/09/2008 15:41

I looked after a little girl from 5 months, as a live-in nanny. When she was 3 1/2 I found out I was pg and expecting a boy she was really excited and told everyone that she was going to have a new baby brother!!! She knew perfectly well that I wasn't her mum but still thought my baby was going to be her brother!!

fridayschild · 19/09/2008 15:57

Ds1 is very interested in who is family at the moment and who is not.

We have said that a nanny is not family, but is as close as you can get to family without being family.

The DCs don't "get" looking after children as a job. I tell them I look after them at the weekend and it is a treat for me, so naturally they think it is all fun fun fun for their nanny.

AtheneNoctua · 19/09/2008 16:03

Well, my 5 year knows full well that the nanny is paid because every time she says "mummy, don't go to work" I say "I have to so I can make some money so I can pay [insert nanny's name]" WE also have a fairly high nanny turnover due to holiday maker vis restrictions. So, it's not the same as one nanny for the whole time.

I think you should tell DD the truth. Tell her that everyone needs money to live on so they buy food, pay rent, and buy new clothes. But also add that she is also very dear friend... almost like family. You could compare it to a close friend who she knows well but is not a relative.

My DD is really into family as well, but I think she thinks she ownes them like a status symbol. Likes to go on about "my cousins in Amerca. Do you have cousins in America?" She also thinks the childminder's sons are her cousins. (the childminder she had when she was a baby before we got a nanny), and she gets quite cross when I say they aren't. But, I feel she should know the truth.

OFSTEDoutstanding · 19/09/2008 16:50

Same here mogs The children I nannied for for 10 years told everyone the same thing and again when I just had DD last week even though they are 13, 11 and 10 now! The 13 year old introduces everyone to me as this is X she isn't my mum but alomost (Ihad her from 2.5yr)Her sister still gets confused and will ask where in her family I fit and got very annoyed when the teacher wouldn't let her put me on their family tree! None of the children ever realised I was paid to look after them untl they were much older and I haven't looked after them for 2 years now but am still really close to the family and see them loads.

nannyL · 19/09/2008 18:45

my charges know that my job is a nanny, in the same way that their parents have jobs...

they think nothing of it (as far as i can tell) they are only 3 and 5 though.

I LOVE my job and the childreb know that their parents love their own job and that being a nanny is my favourite job, and that i love looking after them (as i do)

ChasingSquirrels · 19/09/2008 18:53

slightly different but my nearly 6yo knows that the cm is paid to look after them, and that I pay their grandma (my mum) to look after them.

foxinsocks · 19/09/2008 18:54

my children love the nanny and the nanny loves them.

I have virtually no family here, dh has no family and in many ways, I think the nanny is the closest relationship they have with another adult other than me or dh.

Mine are older cd so they understand she isn't related to them but they, of their own accord, bought her presents when we went on holiday (as did she) and I have no problem with them having this sort of relationship with her.

Lucy87 · 19/09/2008 20:57

My charges are slightly older 4,6,8 but I tell them I don't have a job - and aren't I lucky? Mummy and Daddy have to go to work but all I have to do is go to the park with them! I am law student also, so they think I am in training to get a job, which I am!

They are old enough to get upset by the implication I may not always want to be with them, I think.

botherednanny · 19/09/2008 23:15

I always think being a nanny is a bit like being father christmas or the easter bunny - when they are young they have a very cute idealised view of the person that comes in to take care of them but I think once they get to a certain age it kind of clicks what a nannies actual 'job' is iyswim?

my charge likes to joke about who people in her family are, she says she is her brother, her dad is her mum etc, then if she says something like 'you're my mummy!' I'll say no, I'm your [insert name here ] and she laughs like that makes perfect sense in her little head bless her.

I think looking after children is a special kind of job and shouldn't be referred to as 'just like any other job'

I nanny because I don't want just any old job thank you very much LOL

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