what about resurrecting the old au pair employers/employers to be thread?

[HarrietTheSpy]

Found it yesterday whilst searching.

Anyone interested?

Was it one where lots of folk who had never had an AP got on their high horses about explotation? In which case the answer is no!

But I used to enjoy our AP threads.

I didn't read it all. Did that happen? In which case no, I don't want to have to explain myself after every question...

Did some MNers go off-board iirc? Maybe so, maybe not. For one thing, I have a terrible memory. For another, I'm not on MN half as often as I'd like to be!

I think they did, but the yahoo group was shut down as it had the wrong privacy settings. Don't think another one got set up.

I need somewhere to moan about the trials and tribulations of trying to recruit one (much harder than a nanny so far.) Without hijaking others' threads...

yes please! i would use it

But the problem with doing it on here is that it often seems to end as in my post above. So I can see the point about a yahoo group, I was aware something had gone on but wasn't sure what.

Harriet, get it off your chest...tell us all about it?

Interviewed a lovely girl yesterday. Really felt like this was 'the one.' At the end of the call I asked about whether there were any health problems or dietary considerations we would need to accommodate if she came to us. This is after a nanny who was lovely but failed to disclose one health problem she was having and also minimized the extent of another. The upshot was significant time off on a short term contract at a time that couldn't have been more inconvenient for us, the circumstances of which she knew when she took the job - I looked her in the eye and said: I need stability! And she said: I'm perfect for that! I didn't realise I was allowed to ask questions about health issues, but have learned the hard way we can. So the girl yesterday goes: I need to disclose to you I suffer from [a condition best left to a yahoo group offline.] I take medication for it and have never harmed anyone (!!!), it's not like that. started after a personal setback. She's lovely lovely though and I don't think people should be stigmatised for this problem. I also appreciate her honesty. But I'm terrified she's going to get to us, miles away from her family with no network in the UK and have another setback. And she'd be living with us. I am worried about whether I could manage it.

Oh... I'll join and as I'm on my last week with an AP can sit back and pretend to be smug about not having AP problems...
Hi Marmaduke How are you Sweetheart?

So what you going to do Harriet? Is her illness contaigous (sp) or life threatening?

Not contagious. Not life threatening. A bit on the Sylvia Plath side (does that give any more clues while still being discrete?)

yes it does! poor thing...

yes it does.... poor thing.. but you'd have to be very brave to take that on.

I know poor thing. I really like her and she's v bright. I think I would feel better about it if I could meet her first face to face and see what's what. But shall sleep on it.

I think if you really like her Harriet, you could have a serious chat about being honest about her emotional feelings, and mental health. If you thought she could talk to you, then she might be a goer.... lot more work for you though...
What about speaking with her mother? She might be able to give you a frank and honest summary.

DH is speaking to her tomorrow.

If we don't go with her it may actually come down to how long she can stay with us. We've had someone get back to us who actually has a UK passport and due to personal circumstances could be here for longer. Plus more babysitting experience and (apparently) references. Obviously we would need to check all of this out.

But I hate the feeling whatever reason we give might feel like an excuse, iykwim.

IKWYM.... just tell her the truth, there was a better candidate and nothing to do with her problems.
Good luck with whoever you choose