2nd baby how did you cope?

[sunshine185]

hi, ds will be 30 months when ds2 arrives in november... as we have the space and no relatives nearby dh and i have been talking about getting an au pair in...

i am having second thoughts of getting someone in... i mean, surely i'll manage????? the au pair will help 5 hours a day 5 days a week, mostly with ds and keeping the house in order.... ds is in nursery 2 days a week (10-4)

would be interested to find out your experiences when number 2 arrived whether you did it alone or with help and of course your thoughts on the matter?

have also posted in parenting....

thanks!

Hi thought id let you know of my experiences. 10 years ago when DS1 was 1 I fell pregnant with DS2. I only had my husbands parents nearby who very rarely babysat. You kindof just get into a routine. The second baby just fits round the first when it comes to school/nursery runs.

Now a few years down the line I am now pregnant with my 4th child (major shock a couple of weeks ago). I am also a childminder so used to juggling children. Ive never had any help with anyone looking after my children. I think women are just made to cope and get on with things.

Anyway good luck with your future DC. Hope things go really well for you. You will always get lots of support on MN and it helps just to talk to people. Been there, done that.

I personally would rather get a cleaner and stick with the nursery 2 days a week, maybe three if you can afford it.

you'll cope just fine.. dc2 will be miles easier than dc1 just because you've done it all before. BUT if you have space for an au pair and don't mind living with a non family member then go for it. Or get a cleaner so you can just concentrate on children stuff

When I had DC 2 I found it really tough - did have PND though! Anyway, I had no one nearby to help and DD1 went to nursery for 2 days a week. Looking back now i would get all the help you can. I'm sure about an AP - that could end being more work! Prehaps a cleaner as suggested before and extra nursery for DC1.

there is a great article about coping with baby number two here www.findababysitter.com/article/-toddlers-and-new-baby.php

If you are considering getting an extra pair of hands on board this site also has information about finding help. It's a free site and you can search for au-pairs.

thanks for all your replies, very helpful!