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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Is this unreasonable behaviour from my childminder? (sorry long)

39 replies

hillbilly · 04/09/2008 12:08

DS is now 10 months and started at a childminder at the beginning of July for 2 sessions a week 8.30-3pm. He seemed to start off ok but would apparently be unsettled and cry until he went down for his morning sleep which would usually be at about 9am. Bear in mind that he is teething too. But he would usually be ok once he had had his nap.

Anyway then the cm closed for the first 2 weeks of august and then we went away for the last week of August so all in all he did not attend much that month.

I took him back for his first session this week and within half an hour of dropping him, cm called me to collect him saying he was very unsettled and would not stop crying and that she was worried he would hyperventilate or have a fit.

I have always stressed to cm that as I am self employed and work locally that I can collect him quickly if necessary, but this does not mean I do not need to work.

CM thinks he is not ready to leave me and may benefit more at the moment from one on one care in our own home and has made it clear that she will not take him back until maybe another month or 2.

Which, in an ideal world where I don't have to work would be lovely. There is nothing I like more than looking after my DC (I have a DD 3yrs) but unfortunately I have to work, even if it is only part time, and

So now I have been left in the lurch and having to find new childcare immmediately, by Monday in fact.

Is it me, or is this totally unreasonable? Am I being a hard hearted parent? I put his crying down to teething and the fact that it was the 1st session back for ages.

CM wants to continue in a month or 2 but who's to say she won't do this again. Aren't CM's supposed to be able to deal with upset children and at least give it more than half an hour.

Opinions please!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

looneytune · 04/09/2008 14:15

Ok well pleased about the money, just get someone else and don't use her, she obviously can't cope!

Hope you find someone soon

MatNanPlus · 04/09/2008 14:35

a smell a rat, CM is saying she doesn't want him back essentially till he is 12m/over 1yo? so her age ratios would then have changed??

cargirl · 04/09/2008 14:46

MatNanPlus that was what I was thinking.

bumpybecky · 04/09/2008 16:33

could you nanny share with your friend who is also looking for a new CM?

not sure if that's possible...

Original poster

hillbilly · 04/09/2008 16:59

cargirl - Compensation - mmhhh. I see what you mean but to be honest I think I would rather just move on and not have to deal with her any more. I will just create more negative emotion for me which I don't need right now!

OP posts:

Original poster

hillbilly · 04/09/2008 17:02

matnanplus - I had not thought of that but maybe you have a point.

OP posts:

PinkChick · 04/09/2008 17:04

HI, (im a cm) i would agree not to bring your LO back, say you will contact her in a few months and then start over, inc a new ocntract etc..so get your present contract ripped up/terminated and just dont ring her back!..get your childcare sorted ASAP and i wouldnt give her a second thought, second thread about cm's like this today!..whats going on???

cargirl · 04/09/2008 17:05

nannyshare could be good get the pre-school pick up done too - you may get someone with their own children at school/or bringing their own with them for part time hours?

Original poster

hillbilly · 04/09/2008 17:09

Thank you so much everybody. I was not expecting so much support - I thought perhaps I was being a bit crap.

I have already had a settling in session this afternoon for ds and have another for tomorrow morning. In time hopefully I can find a good cm near to dd's pre school.

OP posts:

gooseegg · 04/09/2008 17:56

If your child was really, really, really screaming and distressed from being separated from you AND you had made it clear that you would want to be contacted as you were local and able to leave your work, then I would have probably given you a call too to let you know that your child was upset and to give you the chance to come and collect him. I would probably have left it a bit longer than 30mins though.

Not because I couldn't handle it or because I thought the child would fit or hyperventilate, but solely for your benefit and to do as you had asked ie contact you if your child was truly distressd.

This cm does sound as if she was too quick to back out of an agreement, and probably has hidden reasons for her decision.

MatNanPlus · 04/09/2008 21:27

I do wonder HillBilly as your DS was only doing 2 sessions a week whether she has another under 1yo and has been turned down on increasing the number she can care for or am i just cynical??

MatNanPlus · 04/09/2008 21:27

forgot to say am a maternity nanny

childmindingmumof4 · 04/09/2008 21:37

I am a cm and had a boy who was very upset and cried for the first week of me looking after him only starting to get better by the friday and then after a two day break came back on monday and started again! As a cm i was able to persevere and now have the best boy to look after ever. I feel you should look for someone else to care for your child.

Original poster

hillbilly · 05/09/2008 07:55

gooseegg - she actually insisted that I came to collect him. Agree there could be other reasons involved on her part.

OP posts:

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